September 2010 Archives

Something else I found in my boxes of ought-to-be-recycled paper products: the results of a mail-in survey from 1995. I think this was from defunct pop culture storefront American Entertainment. Think today's Wizard, but in pre-internet terms. Except that we had the internet in 1995, and we had Wizard in 1995 and was pretty much the same as Wizard today.

Some fun takeaways:

- A "surprisingly high" 36% had CD ROM drives. I know I didn't.
- Two-thirds wanted a new Gambit series.
- Slightly more than half liked Spider-Man's Clone Saga. (I have no idea where this survey fell during the sprawling publishing history of the Clone Saga.)
- A third got their comics via mail order. Which makes sense since American Entertainment was a mail order company. Not exactly a random sample of Marvel fans here.
- Half have never bought Magic "or any other card game." OR ANY OTHER CARD GAME?!?!
- The biggest landslide was 80% of respondents liking Age of Apocalypse. Fifteen years later, AoA is still well-thought of in comics circles. Certainly more so than other X-events of the era, like X-Cutioner's Song and Inferno.
- Two-thirds did not use an "on-line" service! Which, at the time, meant something stupid like America Online or CompuServe.

I really like the favorite character list. Proof that, at one time, people actually liked Cyclops! Barely an Avenger in the list. Current media darling Iron Man is nowhere to be seen. Had Deadpool been created yet?

If you extrapolate the majorities here, you'll see that the average poll respondent bought 6 to 10 comics a month from a local comic shop (including two X-Men books, no Spider-Man), owned a computer without a CD drive or an online service, has never bought a card game, and really, really likes Wolverine for the second year running.

Oh, and is a 19 year old male.

How things have changed! Today, the average comics fan is a 35 year old male, buys 16 to 20 comics a month from a local comic shop (including eight X-Men books, three Spider-Man), runs his own online service... but really, really likes Iron Man for the second year running.

Also, has still never bought a card game.

And here's why I bought a PlayStation Move controller. Our EyePet, Tut. These photos were taken with the in-game screenshot camera, exported to the PS3's hard drive, then shifted to Facebook through the Photo Gallery, then dragged out to here.

Quite a path. Suggestion for EyePet 2: "Export Picture To Facebook" gesture. Simply draw an "F" in mid-air with the PlayStation Move Motion Controller while shouting "EXPORT" at the PSEye Entertainment Peripheral Camera Accessory Omnidirectional Microphone.

I drew that, it drew that, then it turned into a remote control car.

It occurs to me that one of the reasons I was hot for EyePet was because Nintendo hasn't shipped one of these yet. Sure, you have Nintendogs on DS, plus a million shitty Petz games, but nothing first-party on Wii. You'd think the success of Nintendogs and the ubiquitous Wii Remote pointing interface would have yielded a Wii virtual pet by now.

HAW! IT'S SITTING ON THE CAT.

That is certainly one of the creepier parts of the game.

This, however, takes the creepy cake. When your EyePet dreams, it rolls short video clips of you playing with it. From, perhaps, weeks ago. As I mentioned on this week's Aeropodcast, you better be damn careful what you wear and do while playing these games that use a camera.

Nothing everything centers on your living room. Draw a plane and you can spiral your little guy into the sky. I thought the realistic bird was an odd choice. Are they trying to say that EyePets live in a real world with "normal" animals? I rather assumed this game was a window into a Pokemon-like universe where all the creatures are not as we know them, hence the sort-of-common EyePet breed as a domesticated animal.

One thing that constantly threatens to wreck EyePet is the appearance of poorly explained challenges. Your Trophies hinge on these. You'll be told "Smash six watermelons with the hammer" but have no idea how your monkey Gallagher is supposed to do it. (Turns out, you have to hold the Move button until the EyePet throws the watermelon, then release it to swing the hammer. This is never explained.)

Maybe I'm blasting through the challenges faster than most (kids), but I don't think EyePet has enough to do in the long term. It's angling for an Animal Crossing vibe, but I see a decidedly finite list of unlockables that I don't imagine will take too much longer to uncover. There's some real obvious vacancies here that point toward a sequel being much more developed.

How about bringing over friends' EyePets for an online visit? Built-in video chat (since the camera is already there)? Subtle evolutions in fur and face over time? Clothes that move realistically with motion (the fur is great but the clothes are static)? Different places to go?

Maybe there's DLC expansions on the way, but I doubt it. The game has been out in Europe for quite a while, and I've never heard of any DLC that significantly alters the experience. Just clothes and costumes.

It's cute, but not very deep.

You Don't Know Jack is coming back, and I rather doubt I care.

I had it, or some version of it, for PS1 and Mac/PC. If you don't recall what made YDKJ special - and apparently plenty of people don't - it was the disembodied, insulting announcer voice coupled with the on-the-mark cheesy TV show graphics.

At the time, it was slick. The sheer tonnage of audio voice work was astonishing, in 1998 terms. These days, I think I'd just be annoyed with that level of time-wasting badgering. You get a little of that in PlayStation's Buzz.

I would not be surprised to see the new Jack eschew the minimalist text-based presentation and ape its way toward a virtual host much like Buzz. We had that bald guy on the box art for years. Want to bet his name is now Jack and he becomes a grinning, smarmy, TV-parody game show presenter?

I also fully expect to see massive amounts of Facebook/Twitter integration, perhaps turning those services into ways to "Phone a Friend" in the Millionaire style. That would be pretty cool. I feel like we've seen a slow turn away from the use of Miis and Xbox Avatars in third-party products as of late, so I would not count on their inclusion in Jack.

Still, I have to include You Don't Know Jack in my list of games on the PS1 Curse: franchises that were hugely popular on the PS1 but did not survive long into the next generation. Not that Jack was known for being specifically PlayStation, not at all, but it feels closely connected to that timeframe to me.

We already some pretty compelling trivia games available - both Buzz and Scene It use custom controllers that add to the game show flavor - so Jack will have to bring something distinguishable to the table. Outside of that, it's just going to be another DLC-driven cash cow. They ran the YDKJ franchise into the ground ten years ago, they'll be happy to do it again.

the merry-go-round broke down - the cartoon of cartoons (YouTube)
Once it gets started, this video runs a single frame from every cartoon produced by Warners from the '30s through the '60s. For me, 1949 was the last really good year.

The Psychology Of Games: Priming, Consistency, Cheating, and Being a Jerk (GameSetWatch)
Cool idea: could subtly (and not-so-subtly) including passive, polite dialogue in online games encourage players to not act like asshats?

PRODUCERS SPEAK OF "THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD" (CBR)
"The toy company wanted to see Starro as much as possible, because they were going to put a big push behind that character"

Huh? A weird clip-on Starro came with one of the Metal Men as an accessory. Was that the "big push"?

Has Warners Waited Too Long To Exploit DC's Movie Potential? (Spinoff Online)
Stupid premise. Fun fanboy rave in comments, though.

Barry Allen defeats Genre Blindness (The Absorbascon)
Man, it is so nice to have the Absorbascon back.

Has Warners Waited Too Long To Exploit DC's Movie Potential? (Armagideon Time)
There's some nice turns of phrase here about why this guy doesn't like Kingdom Come. I disagree.

He's right about one thing, however. Magog is Nobody's Favorite.

Time Warp Again (Mice Age)
Very detailed Star Tours trivia here, but also an introduction to Duffy... Disney's Epcot-based teddy bear that you're expected to embrace immediately.

Donkey Kong Country Returns Impressions (Nintendo World Report)
In the space of about an hour I went from "Pre-order bonus? Let's go pre-order Donkey Kong Country Returns!" to "Lousy controls and punishing co-op gameplay? Let's never buy Donkey Kong Country Returns."

Make Your Own Kind of Music (Mark Evanier)
On the topic of whether or not Dave Coulier ever subbed for Lorenzo Music as the voice of Garfield:

"So apparently, I was unaware that was Dave Coulier I was directing in those sessions. Maybe he was wearing one of those great Lorenzo Music masks they sell. Or maybe it's a closely guarded secret on which the safety of America depends. We must stop the Taliban from learning that Dave Coulier filled in for Lorenzo on that series."

Texting And Driving May Not Lead To More Crashes (Jalopnik)
The key takeaway in that headline is the word "more." This study suggests that texting has just replaced other types of distractions, like shaving and reading the newspaper.

Here's the full version of that Pokemon movie trailer that was teased last week.

Just brilliant. As a self-aware parody of the practice of turning kids shows into badass action movies, this is beautiful. (Naturally, most of the YouTube commenters do not get the joke.) Like Dragon Ball, Transformers, Airbender. Even the casting of Ash (Lebanese actor Lee Majdoub... also one of the trailer's creators) seems like a meta-comment on how Hollywood turns Asian creations with Asian settings into almost-entirely-caucasian films. "Hey, we cast one! And there's some in background crowd scenes!"

You know, Pokemon is, like, over fifteen years old now and is still reliably popular. Why hasn't something like this already happened? Pokemon is certainly more of an evergreen than frickin' Airbender. Here's some of my favorite shots from this wonderful, amazing trailer.

"Pokemon: Apokelypse" takes place some years after Ash defeats the Elite Four. Pokemon battles have gone underground and turned into a bloodsport. Which actually isn't that far off what it's like now, but this is definitely the dark, edgy spin that any Hollywood script would give the material. Look at that mangy, bedraggled Pikachu!

Misty, Ash, Brock. I love how the actor playing Brock (Kial Natale, co-creator) basically just has his eyes closed.

Looks like this Team Rocket has been revamped into something much more competent.

Voltorb as a car bomb!

WHOA. Big reveal, that is. Mewtwo! No doubt being fielded as Rocket's ultimate weapon that ends up being uncontrollable, requiring a dramatic third act fight with Ash.

The obligatory NOOOOOOO moment.

I do love the Ghost types. A Haunter and two Gastlys. Of course these guys would still thrive in this violent and harsh new world.

I missed this detail on first viewing, but in the still you can see Jigglypuff here is on a stripper's pole. At Lickitung's Gentlemen's Club! A later shot in the trailer shows Pikachu and Meowth battling here.

You guys, I totally want to be Brock.

Giovanni (who, in typical Hollywood fashion, has been physically crossed with Blaine) lights his cigar off of Charizard's flame.

WHOA AGAIN. Mewtwo is psychically inducing suicide! That IS dark!

Lee Majdoub and Kial Natale, great job. Please find substantial backing immediately and turn this into a web series a la "There Will Be Brawl." Or get G4 or somebody to fund you. Has Adult Swim called yet? There is a hip, in-on-the-joke market for this. This concept could be the new Deadwood of Adults 18 to 35.

Like Animal Crossing, EyePet is a game that is impossible to judge in one sitting. It builds on itself as you play it, unlocking new activities and demanding daily visits.

Also like Animal Crossing, it would be much more compelling if the game lived on the HD and not stuck on a separate disk you have to go roust up every time you want to check in.

Clark's initial reaction - caught in the Toys R Us parking lot - was of confused ambivalence. But he warmed up to our 'Pet right away. Its name is Tut. EyePet gender seems to be determined by the clothes you put on them.

I'm sure the transition from non-Move game to Move game is why some of the gesture controls are weird. Every time it starts up, you're supposed to tap the floor to get the EyePet to emerge. We can NEVER get it to appear by tapping with our bare hands, but tapping with the Move wand always works. The entire game has moments like that... when I'm petting it, should I be using my naked hand or the Move controller?

The oddball camera angle (PSEye pointing at your floor) means that the mouse control functions are off. I keep expecting it to work exactly like the Wii Remote does, forgetting that the camera itself is looking at my feet. You adjust.

One Move feature that is right on is when the game makes it look like you're holding one of the many "magic" toys. Like the monkey bubble blower or the post-bath hair dryer. That little bit of augmented reality is the best illusion the game's got.

Clark, being an artist, is most fascinated by how the EyePet interacts with drawings. You can either show him a pen-and-paper drawing you made (hold it up to the camera) or draw something in mid-air with the Move, and he will copy it. In certain cases, your drawing will be transformed into a three-dimensional toy that the creature can play with.

I grabbed a couple of sucky demos for other Move games, but this is the only release I'm really interested in as of yet. Predictably, I have no affection for More Wii Sports or Hey, We Have Half-Assed Motion Control Games Too. It's amazing how the lure of big money has allowed everybody to completely ignore the obvious failings of motion control gaming.

Or maybe it's not that amazing.

And that's pretty much OK, because the pre-orders suck.

At GameStop, you get three free songs... which amounts to a $6 value (unless there's an unforeseen price hike coming for DLC songs, which I wholly doubt).

Best Buy is offering some of their stupid loyalty club points. NO SALE.

Walmart.com gives you a $10 gift card, which is fine (more than 6) but requires you to shop at Walmart.com.

Amazon is also handing out a $10 gift card, but get this: the offer is only on the software, not any of the bundled versions. WTF?

Obviously, the Big Draw to RB3 is the piano thingy. I mean, you're getting that. So the Amazon puzzle shakes out like this:

Buy software-only game for $60, receive $10 Amazon video game store credit. Then add in the $80 piano (gasp!) and you're at $140. With $10 waiting to be spent on something else in the future, probably a PSN card that would, duh, get you five free songs at the least. Probably more.

Or, buy the software+piano bundle for $130. No gift card. End result is sort of exactly the same, except that an extra ten clams is free of complicated gift card maneuverings.

Suddenly, the GameStop deal isn't looking so comparatively bad since it applies to all bundles as well. At GameStop, it's $130 for the game+piano PLUS you get the three free songs.

I guess I need to go see GameStop shortly.

Rock Band 3 adds Twitter and Facebook tools, hopefully more than just boring textual wall updates. I'd like to see some camera support there, a la SingStar.

The real blind spot on RB3 is new peripheral manufacturer Mad Catz, a company I previously thought one step up from cat litter sculptors. Because, presumably, Mad Catz employees have business cards. I am placed in the unfortunate position of having to respect a third party hardware manufacturer. I will rationalize it by elevating Mad Catz up to first party by dint of there being no other "official" hardware on the marketplace.

But I definitely want to hear some reviews first to see how their stuff fares. I'm ready for new Rock Band gear (it's been three years!), but that piano will be the only piece to get my full support on Day One.

This is information you might need to know.

I found a Snorks mini-guide (1983 - with a figure checklist on the back) and a bookmark-shaped thing (1984). Both mightily leverage the phrase "Twist a Magic Snorkel."

I can't believe modern hipster 1980s-fetishist society has not uncovered this. Imagine the cheap CafePress t-shirts, the pixel art, and the Etsy storefronts this phrase could spawn. Why, I bet somebody would make SOAP shaped like this!

I eagerly await the Snorks revamp lying just beyond the new 3D Smurfs movie release.

Live Action Gritty Pokemon Movie Trailer Leaked! (YouTube)
Man, do I want this to be real. I love the shot of Ash being restrained by Rocket thugs, screaming. A movie like this would be absolutely hilarious.

The Gaming Doctrine: Red Dead Religion (GameSetWatch)
Hurm. This just reads to me like it was written by a religious person who was annoyed that Rockstar largely mocked religion in Red Dead Redemption. And assumes that the "Redemption" in the title can't be delivered unless via religious means.

PSN-Exclusive Rock Band DLC Sale Next Week (PlayStation Blog)
Glad I never got around to cherry-picking my favorite CCR songs for Rock Band. Now the entire set is on sale for $10. Fogarty get!

Is Android's variety its biggest challenge? (My Opera)
Uh, yes. Funny how the detractors who continually label iPhone users as know-nothing tech-dilettantes have little to say about Android users not having consistency in the platform across every phone type. If this sort of thing doesn't bother the average Android user, would they not be similar know-nothing tech-dilettantes? "What do I care if I can't use Skype or Froyo, the device still looks cool and makes calls!"

Dems to voters: You may hate us, but GOP is worse (Yahoo News)
Finally, honesty in politics!

Kirby Epic Yarn Impressions (Nintendo World Report)
Nice rundown on Kirby Epic Yarn, probably the largest article I've yet seen on the game that wasn't a puff piece in Nintendo Power. Ahem. As expected, the comments following are mostly from assclowns whining about the easy difficulty. Fuck off and go play New Super Mario Bros Wii again.

OK, I don't really NEED to have a PlayStation Move. Certainly not this weekend, the first weekend of release.

The only "game" that I want is stupid EyePet, a game I've wanted since years before it was turned into a Move game. Sports Champions and Start the Party can eat my balls.

But I don't want to wait a month or two to get it because that will be right in the middle of a very busy time of the gaming year, when actual games will require my attention. Epic Mickey, the new Red Dead single-player stuff, Kirby Epic Yarn. I feel like I'm in a bit of a lull now, because I finished Metroid: Other M, and we're 3/4s through Batman: Brave and the Bold. I started Red Faction: Guerrilla this week, and while it's fun, it's not a gripping must-do.

So do I pick up Move+EyePet this weekend, and start virtually petting my shiny new virtual Monchichi?

ADDITIONAL: I asked Clark if we should go get EyePet this weekend. He said yes. I said, "Do you know what that is?"

"Yes." He looked at me slyly. "It's a big iPhone."

Although this line has not seen anything truly meaty since the surprise reveal of the Two-Face fig months ago, I noticed two brand new exclusive repaints at Toys R Us.

Check out that Two-Face Van. It's a repaint of the older Villain Van (which came with Joker and Penguin), and that was probably already a repaint of a "normal" Imaginext van playset. Although the Two-Face stickers are a good try (Harvey, you vain fool!), there's a major missed opportunity here to have the van be painted in two colors schemes, split down the middle. You know, like Two-Face would do.

Riddler is slumming on this one, that's for sure. Why should he ride shotgun to Two-Face and his fugly van?

Because he just got handed this sweet ride:

Almost assuredly a repaint, Riddler now has his own bi-plane complete with water raft. And he gets a Smilin' Batman buddy! I guess we're lucky that we have as many figures in this line as we do, but man do we need more. Instead of yet another Batman, how about a Nightwing or a Commissioner Gordon?

I'm griping. This is a great line, and the high variety of villain-based vehicles makes it gold. I think we officially have more villain-related playsets than Bat-gear... and I don't think there's EVER been a Batman toy line that could make that claim. What I really like is how evenly the villain spoils have been distributed.

Joker: Fun House playset, hammer cycle, van
Penguin: umbrella jetpack, submarine
Mr. Freeze: freeze chamber, ice cave
Riddler: car, launcher, bi-plane
Two-Face: safe, van

I just found a nice overview of the series to date here, and it covers a lot of the repaints (which are mainly Toys R Us exclusives) that we have not picked up. Although you can ignore those listed prices; they all seem to be lifted from online "collector" price-gouging websites. I don't know about your hometown, but I have yet to have a problem locating new items in the DC Imaginext set. I've even seen fan-baiting rarities like the Green Lantern jet on several trips at different stores. Than again, we go shopping every weekend, so there you are.

That page also suggests that next year the line will add Killer Croc, Hawkman and the Flash as new figures. Which is great news, but I wish Fisher-Price would get around to breaking a female figure mold so they could add Wonder Woman and Catwoman.

I just wrote a brief review of Metroid: Other M and gave it 3 out of 5 stars. Yes, I'm going to fall into that camp.

I just didn't think the controls ever worked the way they should, or that the game itself was well thought out. Other M should be the poster child of Nintendo's asinine policy of crippling their games just so some mythical expanded audience can play them. Either you make complicated games with a suitable control scheme, or you stick with porting out ancient Super Mario Bros gameplay (and even then I didn't think those controls were any good... shaking is terrible and the B button is ignored.)

Stop trying to do both, Nintendo. Other M needed the Nunchuk, end of story.

It has become apparent that Metroid exists solely to fill a perceived gap in the Wii lineup: serious space marine alien shooter. As long as there's a Metroid in production, Nintendo can point to those mediocre sales and say "See, we ARE giving hardcore gamers what they want." And as a ridealong, here's a new, unasked-for Sin & Punishment.

And yet, the Prime series - even the Wii-specific #3 - are better than Other M at every turn. Interestingly, when the first Metroid Prime was released, it was snubbed by the hardcore because of the unique take on FPS controls. I imagine those people have even less nice to say about Other M's controls.

The game isn't unplayable. I beat it in about ten hours (short!) But every step of the way, I felt that the game was designed around gimped controls, and never that the simplified controls were making the game easier or accessible or more fun. You can't shoot missiles unless you throw it into first-person. You can't change weapons, rather, this time every new weapon type is simply a barely-noticeable upgrade to your basic beam cannon. The distinction between your beam and your missile (when in first-person) is based entirely on whether you're locked on or not. And the transition between horizontal Remote to pointing Remote is clunky.

Much hay was made about the first-person mode being a chance to explore your environment and uncover items that the 2D view would not necessarily show... except that all the items are marked on your map anyway, so it's hardly much of a treasure hunt.

And why does the game have to remind me what a missile pod is Every. Damn. Time. I find one.

I know people are taking the game to task for its script, and yeah, Samus's soliloquies are little more than snippets of bad high school poetry, but it's the gameplay that bugs me. Halfway through, I realized the problem: this is a video game, not an experience. The Prime games were an experience. Just like how it doesn't make sense for the Raccoon City Police Department to be a maze of hallways and art museums, the Bottleship of Other M is a video game level. Not a derelict space station. It is an environment that could only have been traversed by Samus, even before the alien bioweapon creatures went batshit. The researchers working on that ship would have needed Samus's gravity-defying Space Jump just to make it to the cafeteria for breakfast.

And then there's the idiotic old canard that mindless rampaging creatures somehow have the ability to lock you in a room with no escape until they die. We need to put that gaming crutch right on the bonfire alongside the Lives/Continues paradigm.

Nintendo has Kirby and Donkey Kong Country coming up, and both of those will use a horizontal Remote. Now, I wouldn't expect those two franchises to require the depth of control that Metroid needs, so I don't see them being as grisly as Other M. I wonder if either of those games will use the damn B button.

Halfway through, I was ready to give it up. I almost tweeted "Never playing Other M again" half a dozen times. But one feature kept me in the game: the Theater Mode. Beating the game unlocks a special two hour long Metroid Other M movie. Clark and I watched that in its entirety the very next day after I beat the game. Lousy script notwithstanding, the cutscenes are gorgeous. The movie version supplements them with in-game footage and audio, so you end up with a complete feature film. Every game needs to do this. I can think of only two that have, Other M and Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

This is not a recommendable Wii game, but keep in mind that 3 out of 5 is mathematically better than average. Although I think I'm trying to talk myself into giving it a 2. It does look great, it's frustrating but not so frustrating that it's impossible, and it does follow up directly on Super Metroid (as if that matters)... but the Metroid Prime Collection is a much better time.

EDIT: I did bump it down to a 2. Upon re-reading my review for publication, I realized that I myself was not even making the case for a 3. Too much bad, not enough good.

Cheat.

Because LEGO has long since realized that they can cater to collectors and speculators as well as children, this year they released sets of blind-packaged rare minifigures. There's sixteen unique figures in each set and since the packaging is opaque, you have not idea which randomized dude you will score. The package foil is also sort of thick, so it is tough to get a good guess about what's inside by manhandling it.

Last weekend we noticed Set 2 at Toys R Us. Set 2 includes an Egyptian Pharaoh.

Here's the even worse news: they sell these things for $3. $3 for a single minifig and a bare accessory or two. Nuts. I guess it's supposed to be fun to keep buying these guys at $3 each and keep getting loser figs like the Traffic Patrolman.

But I would have that Pharaoh for my son. So I checked eBay. At the least, known figures from the set are $6. OK. At this point in the mental conversation, you stop comparing that to other things you could get for six dollars and start tallying that as money spent to satisfy my child's Unique Interests.

Further Googling, however, uncovered this: a bar code decoder. The packages have a secondary code on them that 100% identifies the secret figure found inside. This isn't the first time I've heard of something like this, but I don't think it applies to absolutely every blind-boxed item out there.

With the decoder on the iPhone - and a printed copy for Clark that he treated as a valuable treasure map - we found a Pharaoh right away. With all worries about $3 duds gone, I let him pick out another - ANY, MY SON, THE WORLD IS YOURS - and he selected a Spartan.

Incidentally, I doubt I'm the first to leverage this trick at my local store. The case had a ton of unsold Traffic Patrolmen.

Series 3 is expected to include a Mummy. We'll be back.

Phil Davison, GOP Candidate, Delivers Stark County Treasurer Speech, 9 8 2010 (YouTube)
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting your candidate for Stark County Treasurer... NATHAN EXPLOSION!

Hanna Barbera size chart (Cartoon Brew)
I don't know what it says about me that I'm nostalgic for all those truly terrible Hanna Barbera shows that dominated kids TV when I was growing up.

Katamari Damacy Designer Leaves Namco Bandai, Calls It "So-So" (Kotaku)
Gaming culture has decreed David Jaffe a badass because he acts like a child and makes gory games. Keita Takahashi makes bizarre, happy games and is the true bridge-burning badass.

Japan reporter tricked captors into using Twitter (Yahoo News)
So has anybody given the kidnappers' Twitter accounts over to authorities? I totally want to see when they poop.

I'm Thirty And I've Never Seen... (tumblr)
Josh has begun his descent into middle age with a promise to watch a movie a day, celebrating the many films he has never yet seen.

Double Trouble: Pokemon Team Rocket Cosplay (DeviantArt)
Whoa. Wow.

I have read your website and it is obviously that your a foggot. (27b/6)
The lost-cat-art-demand guy is at it again.

A Taste of What's New in the Updated App Store License Agreement and New Review Guidelines (Daring Fireball)
From Apple's official document: "We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don't need any more Fart apps."

Disney Remixes Old Cartoons into Blam! (Cartoon Brew)
Answering the musical question, how do we make sure kids today retain a vague cultural awareness of seventy-year-old Disney cartoons.

I get that this is stupid, but I also get that it's no different than when they released Mickey Mouse Disco when I was a kid. The classics made it through that, they'll make it through this.

From the article Microsoft's Xbox ready for bigger battle in Japan, which discusses Microsoft's impending launch of Kinect in Japan:

Microsoft has some catching up to do in Japan. As of last week, it had sold some 150,000 Xbox 360 console this calendar year, according to Media Create Co., a Tokyo-based gaming market research company. Nintendo sold about a million Wii units during the same period, while Sony sold just under a million.

[Takashi Sensui, head of Microsoft's home and entertainment division in Japan] said Kinect would help Xbox close the sales gap and maybe even surpass rivals "eventually."

Yes, your doofy mini-game-focused two-player might-have-to-be-standing unicorn tear technology might make a dent in that nearly 900,000 unit sales deficit this year. A double deficit, even, standing behind TWO direct competitors.

While we're at it, let's look at worldwide console sales to date...

The DS is poised to pass the PS2 in worldwide lifetime sales. That's amazing considering how gamer communities reacted to the big DS vs PSP fight back in 2004, where the DS was considered DOA. Except for the kiddies, of course.

The PS3 and 360 continue to run neck-and-neck, even with the 360's year head start. Of course, in the Americas the Wii/360/PS3 split is much closer at 34 million, 24 million and 14 million respectively.

Jim Carrey would have made a better Joker.

Physically, Jack Nicholson's Joker was a mess. A dumpy guy looking at retirement is just not threatening. Joker is lanky and manic. Back then, lanky and manic was Carrey's forte. Carrey-as-Joker could have been his first breakout role.

Arnold Schwarzenegger would have made a better Bane.

I mean, duh. The real sticking point here would be that it's impossible for Arnold to mask his accent.

Tommy Lee Jones would have made a better Mr. Freeze.

Freeze is cold and brilliant, but tortured and redeemable. Jones' deadpan tone and nuanced delivery should have put him in the bald blue head.

Uma Thurman would have made a better Catwoman.

Catwoman is always thinking two steps ahead. No matter where she is, she knows how she is getting out. Uma Thurman's dark gaze would have brought that to the character, rather than Michelle Pfeiffer's sex-kitten parody.

Although in defense of the casting, Poison Ivy's character arc in the fourth movie is identical to Catwoman's role in the second.

Val Kilmer would have made a better Two-Face.

Two-Face was a walking Adonis before the accident. Young and powerful. Val Kilmer's prettyboy half would have made a great contrast with the scarred SFX half.

Michael Keaton would have made a better Riddler.

It's easy to play Riddler as crazy. It's far more interesting and accurate to play him as a genius. Keaton could have combined the intelligence, the darkness and the comic touch that embodies the Riddler. And, blazer only, please. No tights.

Jack Nicholson would have made a better R'as al Ghul.

Seriously. Old and menacing. Old.

Aside from Warioware DIY, some other WiiWare diversions, and that sad Project Runway game, I have done little to jack on my Wii since March.

And now, within a few days, I'll have four brand new Wii exclusives.

Metroid: Other M finally shipped from Amazon, so I should have that on Tuesday. My fault for going with Super Saver Shipping, so I can't complain. The Amazon preorder stocked me with $20 credit that I will probably see if I can flip on to a PSN gift card.

I got that review copy of NHL Slapshot, which is far better than I expected. It's pretty much a genuine hockey video game, albeit a little creaky since it doesn't have the latest flash of the "core" EA/2K series. It's kind of like an NHL game fell out of 2002 and grew peripheral-based motion controls.

And after perusing this week's Toys R Us sales flyer, I have a morning mission on Tuesday to go get Batman: The Brave and the Bold as soon as possible. The game comes with a free t-shirt and I have this feeling that TRU won't get enough to cover the day's sales. (Unless it comes shrink-wrapped with the game, like last year's Rabbids Go Home shirt.)

Now here's the deal. TRU has a Buy One Get One Half Off deal this week on certain games. Batman B&B is on the list for both Wii and DS. (So is NHL Slapshot, incidentally.) So I think I'm going to tack on Disney Guilty Party. Both Guilty Party and Batman B&B are $40... so now I'm at $60 for the pair.

I could get the DS version of B&B and therefore unlock three-player Bat-Mite, but I think I'll hold that for a future deal. I have kind of a moral problem with paying $40 for the Wii version and $30 for the DS version. It's 2010 and the DS is about to be outmoded. NOTHING should be retailing at the $30 price point. Anyway, that DS cart will be $20 before we know it. Like, after February.

I already have a $5 coupon for Batman. And I have a $40 gift card from Blur and a leftover $10 gift card from my last TRU credit card bonus. So I'm down to $5 for two Wii games and a Batman t-shirt. I am going to walk out of that store so high.

Going back through our iPhoto for the year, I noticed a lot of pictures of silly signs.

From Dutch Wonderland. It's the old farmer guy in the middle that you're going to want to watch out for. Would that the actual flume cars had that much leg room.

From some local pet store. Look, dammit, if you've got a problem with the girth of the crickets we have in stock, take it up with the Cricket Supplier Control Board, not me!

From a local mini-golf joint. Three fonts, plenty of doofy letter substitutions, and a bizarrely fitted hat on that kid.

From Lake Tobias Animal Park. This is actually proof that God made human fingers specifically for animal consumption.

From Lake Tobias Animal Park. I love the 1930s-era comic visual of the hat popping off.

From the Agricultural and Industrial Museum. Back then, inspiring propaganda. Today, a World of Warcraft joke.

From Roadside America. Nothing says "generation gap" like signs demanding that all children be still, quiet and chained to their parents.

From PA Dutch Gift Haus. Eff that double rainbow crap, we got us here a DOUBLE DISTELFINK.

The Whitest Kids U Know - Online Gaming (YouTube)
This gag has been done before, but never so brilliantly garage.

How was your day? (tumblr)
Rhonda has started a Tumblr that documents some of the cool stuff that Clark says about his school day!

Samurai Wars custom action figures (Sillof via Angry Asian Man)
George Lucas has quoted Japanese samurai films as an inspiration for Star Wars. This gent made cool custom action figures based on that.

Why Do the Japanese Draw Themselves as White? (Society Pages via Kotaku)
Spot-on: They don't. It is unfortunate that this common misunderstanding leads to boorish Americans finding another way to assume other cultures worship the US.

Jack Kirby predicted Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor" Rally 40 years ago. (Beaucoup Kevin)
"Tell it, Godfrey! Tell us how our pride is being attacked and dragged into the dust!"

Poker Night at the Inventory (Telltale Games)
Kooky! A poker game featuring Max, Strong Bad, Tycho and the big dude from Team Fortress 2! Who else could we get in there... how about GlaDOS, Niko Bellic, and, what the hell, Mewtwo.

Disney Afternoon vs. Tiny Toons (1989) (Cartoon Brew)
Oh man, this is great. Mike Kazaleh (Hi Captain Jack!) uncovered an old Disney marketing pitch to stations for the Disney Afternoon... and it is page after page of attacks on Bugs Bunny and Warners.

Indy was born in 1995. He died last night.

Indy - and his "sister" Saffie - were brought into the family just as my childhood cat Tawny left us. Almost exactly fifteen years ago. Indy was the kitten who would fall asleep sitting up. I initially wanted to name him Bannon because I was on a weird hipster Jonny Quest kick. Indy was short for Indigo.

Indy became a burly, roly-poly kind of housecat. But he kept a juvenile, high-pitched voice. He was the kind of easygoing cat that you could pick up and play with and it never bothered him. In the last few months, he lost a lot of his former weight, and in the last few days it became apparent that his end was near.

Since I was in college when Indy came along and moved out of my parents' home shortly thereafter, I never felt like Indy was "my" cat in the close way I felt about Tawny or about the two cats we have now. But he was still a good friend and a fun cat. We all loved him and will miss him greatly.

Today I got a review copy of NHL Slapshot for Wii, which is expected in stores in a couple weeks.

Assembling the hockey stick was a bit tricky.

But I love this shot of Wayne Gretzky almost playing the game, as seen on the back of the box.

Nintendo Power was not especially enamored of the game, giving it a 6 out of 10. But we'll see what I think, won't we. I kind of suspect Clark will be amused by the Peewee mode.

One of the recurring thoughts whenever I check out that DC Comics app on my iPhone is how cool it would be if my entire collection was digital.

Like, everything. The collection that I stopped counting and cataloging decades ago, but if I had to ballpark it, I'd have to number it around 7000 floppies (is that what you get with 25+ longboxes?) Plus another couple hundred in trades and manga.

How cool would it be to have it all in my pocket. Obviously MB storage is a concern, and a goodly portion of my collection is weirdass B&W explosion books that would never be included, but you get the point. I'm always saying how I would like to re-read 52 or whatever, and having it on my iPhone would make that so, so much easier. Read over lunch. Read in the car. Read on the couch. All without having to dig and unwrap and refile the books.

Comics Alliance posted a nice piece today about the inevitability of digital comics. And how the publishers are purposefully pussyfooting around in it, creating a doomed strategy because they can't afford to tick off the retailers. I'm sure I'm not alone: I'd like to have both. For every comic I buy, hard copy, at the store, I'd like a ride-along digital version. Right now, a brand new issue of Justice League: Generation Lost - the only new book that DC is fielding day-and-date both digitally and on racks - costs $3 each. That is nuts. I'm sorry, but a digital book should not cost the same as a printed book.

DC puts out a lot of older material at discounted prices (and a lot of interesting books by indie creators that have signed on with DC), and that's cool. The usual price is $2, which is not a fantastic discount for material I already own.

And how do you keep retailers in the equation? Comics Alliance says they're just going to have to accept it and stay afloat however they can... with a comparison that nobody worries about Netflix affecting retail movie sales. Of course, "buying movies" is not adrift in the same cultural morass that surrounds "buying comics."

What if the publishers started syncing up their customers (buyers of actual, physical comics) with accounts on the ComiXology app. Like, DC knows that I buy Green Lantern every month. So my ComiXology account gets a credit for the digital version... not for free, but for something nominal like 50 cents. Or maybe it is free once the system becomes self-supporting.

And DC uses the retailers to communicate this. Based on what they actually sell to me, they kick that info back to DC and ComiXology. The retailers are the trusted watchdog gatekeeper on this. It means adding a customer database infrastructure, which I'm sure is another publisher headache and retailer nightmare to manage. But what if that becomes the natural evolution of the business? You'd just do it, right? Just like adding credit card scanners back in the '80s.

Now take it a step further. DC starts adding more and more selections from their near-century back catalog. My local comic shop visually verifies that I own the entirety of Crisis on Infinite Earths and that gets added to my ComiXology account. Again, for a price. $4 for all twelve issues. $3 goes to DC, and the retailer and ComiXology split the rest.

DC (and the rest) want to think that I'd pay $24 for that set of Crisis. Or, if I'm being written off because I already own it, that new readers would pay that price.

I don't know. Something has to change for comics to stay viable. The industry supports itself on licensing, something that used to be a sidebar business. Lots of people out there would like to read comics, but are put off by the high price tag... when you're comparing media as non-fans would, $3 for a comic just does not seem to measure up to a $1 blockbuster movie rental. A $15 trade doesn't carry the same perceived value as a $15 DVD purchase. The pricing is all wrong to bring new people in, except for one-off novelty purchases.