Nothing too amazing here, just a 50cc run through Coconut Mall. If you have Mario Kart Wii, this will be rather pedestrian... but if you haven't, it might show off one of the game's cool new levels. For added enjoyment, this replay features Peach on her Sugarscoot or Sweetcycle or Sweetsugar or whatever it's called.
There's Mii integration all over the Mall, both as bystanders and in store signage. Although it's naturally a bit blurry at the standard YouTube res of blocky-pixels-viewed-through-flashlight-lens. Three lucky Miis are placed in parking lot obstacles... in this case, it's my buddy Mike, Chicken Little, and my sister Marci. I don't think any of the MKWii levels let you plow through Miis like bowling pins, but that would have been awesome.
Yet another Wii game that would have benefitted from the system-level screenshot feature I keep proposing.
Here's some recent pictures, covering some recent life events, a maxed out Wii Message Board and the critical fail of the Metal Gear Online beta install.
Just so you lads know what you're getting into, that's what 64 ounces of Gatorade-fueled bowel irrigation fluid looks like. Rubik's Cube provided for scale. Now drink eight oz every ten to fifteen minutes until it's all gone.
Noticed this weblog meme going around and found it interesting enough to participate, especially in light of this weekend's Free Comic Book Day.
1) What was the first comic you remember reading?
Probably a Harvey book. Or something Uncle Scrooge.
I had a bunch of Richie Rich / Casper / Hot Stuff. Like, 1979 or so. I definitely favored the Casper and Hot Stuff books, as I found the concepts of ghosts and devils much more interesting than the adventures of a rich snot.
Oooooh, just remembered Spooky. Casper's asshole cousin. I liked Spooky a whole lot.
2) What was the first comic that made you realize that you might be in this for the long haul?
Probably the first Ambush Bug mini (1985). The first issue I read was #3, where Ambush Bug points out all the ridiculous continuity and forgotten Silver Age characters of the DCU... and it made me want to find out more. I learned a lot about persistent fictional universes, which is to say I learned that they exist.
Jeez, Nintendo Power always slips this into the ass-end of the mag where no one ever sees it.
The weekend of May 31st is this summer's big Pokemon event at Toys R Us... and this time the downloadable prize is Darkrai, a secret legendary pokemon that was ruined for all of us by hackers about three minutes into the release of Diamond/Pearl. NP also says that ALL DS games will be $5 off.
After that ridiculous three-hour install, MGO is merely OK.
It's all right. I had some fun standing on a roof and killing enemies as they tried to climb up my ladder. It's only a beta, but I bet it's awfully close to the final version. Is MGO still a free pack-in with MGS4? I don't even know any more.
Metal Gear is such an engrossing solo experience for me, that I'm not at all excited for a big online multiplayer iteration. Unless I knew like twelve guys with PS3s, but that seems highly unlikely. At the least, MGO shows the visual depth we can expect from MGS4.
The costume is horrible. There better be hours of screen test footage proving why they can't make a decent fabric-based cowl, because this rubber head bullshit is just pathetic. Christian Bale's chin looks really uncomfortable in there. You know what's key to being a really great hand-to-hand combatant? Being able to turn your head. It's no wonder all these fight scenes are chopped up to hell, because it's ridiculous. Every time Qui-Gon smashes Batman's head through a window, he looks like a garden statue.
Why all the flying? Why is Batman gliding through 40% of these last thirty minutes? Is gliding cool?
Was that Bullock? Did he live?
I liked the fear gas hallucination stuff. Had I watched the preceding two hours, I suspect I may have enjoyed the Scarecrow.
Finally! I've been whining about it since before the Wii launched, but we now have the ability to download DS demos from the Wii.
It's buried inside a menu of an app primarily designed to play commercials, but it's there.
The Nintendo Channel launched this morning, to everyone's surprise. Nintendo just loves to manipulate their own little universe. Sony would have announced this three weeks ago; Microsoft would have made it part of a Mountain Dew promotion. I think I've made that comparison joke before.
Video playback is predictably crappy, due to both server load and the general Wii online slowness. No matter what video I picked, it would only run about 12 seconds of it, then sit and load again for another thirty seconds. When a video is about a minute long, having it take five minutes to watch it - in pieces - just isn't worth it. I would like to watch promo videos. I would even watch videos for games I already own, just because. But if it's not fast and easy to click through a pile of them, I'll just head back to my iMac.
Too many cats. (YouTube) This is really funny at first, until you start thinking about it.
osu! This is the first time I've wanted a Windows setup in years: there's a homebrew PC-based Ouendan/EBA copycat, that allows you to make your own song levels!
twisney.com Whee! Twitter-style info only from people inside Disney World. Now that's targeted! I love the flickr gallery.
MIKE: I most certainly agree that movement for many of the miniatures games is downright hideous. However, as I only play those games with people I like, it really doesn't become too much of an issue. Pretty much that person is you, so I have no worries. When [old pal] Chris gets involved I know to run away at flank speed as he can get a bit touchy about the whole process, but that is also the same person who cheated for years at Stratego with me. I do seem to recall a bit of testiness when you two fine lads played Pirates two summers ago.
JOE: Oh my god, I just want to forget that he and I ever played Pirates. Not only is it sad that he and I got into it over a stupid game, but also that we neutered the game's balance. Would you agree that I'm extraordinarily picky about things like that? Maybe I'm naive about game designers, but I want to trust that the ruleset exists in a delicate, intricate structure... so you can't just toss something out without affecting something else. In the Pirates case, we played that any ship could fire ALL cannons as long as at least one was in range. This gives the bigger ships an unfair advantage, negating their usual penalties of speed, position and range.
Not that I haven't encountered genuinely bad, poorly-tested games. Killer Bunnies is just a disaster from start to finish. The Inuyasha TCG is almost absurdist in design, in a bad way. Didn't we "figure out" Loco inside of three hands? I still don't quite get the fairness of the endgame in Monsters Menace America. We asked the poor Zatch Bell TCG demo guy, "So if you essentially never shuffle your deck, won't every game between the same decks always play exactly the same?" And I remember you declared Kill Doctor Lucky broken almost immediately.
Microsoft is proud of only nabbing 60% of GTAIV sales.
Worldwide, there are nearly 19 million 360s, to only 12 million PS3s... yet only slightly more than half of GTAIV's launch week sales went to the 360 version. Out of the 6 million copies sold, 3.2 mill were the 360 version and 2.6 were for the PS3.
A console that boasts an additional 7 million consoles in homes (I know, I know, these numbers do not factor in broken consoles, of which Microsoft has plenty, nor account for people who own more than one of the same console), a console that paid $50 million for "exclusive" to-come DLC content, a console that offers the robust Live experience and the wholly unique achievement concept... can't even manage to properly smash the competition on the biggest game made to date.
By rights, this should have been an 80/20 split. So either there's far fewer working 360s out there than the 19 million would suggest... or people still think of GTA has a PlayStation franchise, regardless of what the 360 can offer.
Will GTA keep Niko as series protagonist?
Based on clues inside the game and on Rockstar's website, rumors are swirling that GTAIV frontman Niko Bellic will hop a flight from Liberty City to San Andreas for the next GTA game.
I really like this idea... that we'll follow one man through this generation's GTA games. Could be absolutely epic. I predict he dies at the end of the trilogy. Also, I predict a trilogy.
There's a sequel to Viva Pinata coming, which, at this point, is more licensed material for the animated series than anything else. Since its release in November 2006 (and it was hyped as a BIG release, even though Bill Gates would later refer to the game as something they made for young girls), it's only sold a million copies. For comparison, Animal Crossing, perhaps its nearest conceptual cousin, sold almost 3 million on GameCube and over 9 million on DS. Although selling a million on the 360 puts you in the company of Dead Rising, Saints Row and Crackdown, (according to Wikipedia), so it's not like there's nobody asking for a sequel.
No, what pissed me off today was this section of the Viva Sequela one sheet:
A never-before-seen feature called Pinata Vision allows players to plug in an Xbox LIVE Vision camera and interact with the game through the use of printed cards that feature a unique barcode. With Pinata Vision, gamers can simply flash a pinata card up to the Vision camera, and the content will drop directly into the game.
Seriously you guys? "never before seen"? Never before seen on the Xbox 360 I suppose. Because I've been playing Eye of Judgment for a while now. Where I flash cards at the PlayStation Eye and content drops directly into the game.
Oh, oh, oh, and a couple years ago? I was scanning barcode cards on my Nintendo eReader back on the GBA. That would drop content directly into Animal Crossing, Super Mario Advance 4, and Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire. Ho ho, those were the days.
You can see what's going on here. One game for each letter of the alphabet, culled across the entire history of gaming.
The two big fails are Indiana Jones and X-Men. Whuh? Sure, they've both had video games, but they are not properties created by our beloved industry... so they are right out. This isn't the "ABCs of Pop Culture."
Sony sent out a press release detailing their major first-party games for the rest of 2008 and into 2009. When is Nintendo going to clue us in about their big games? Animal Crossing Wii is so incredibly due. And anyway, I need time (and rationale) to con all my new Wii owner pals into buying it.
But here's Sony's list... although I cut out some of the crap, like NBA 09:
Hot Shots Golf(R): Open Tee 2 -- PSP (Available June 3, 2008 / E for "Everyone")
Developed by Clap Hanz, Hot Shots Golf(R): Open Tee 2 introduces six challenging new courses, along with new characters to customize using hundreds of accessories. Robust Internet play allows players to challenge other Hot Shots across the globe in tournaments of up to 16 players. Players can tee-off locally with up to eight others via Ad Hoc mode, or engage in a number of single-player modes such as Challenge, Training, and Stroke Play. With the franchise's signature over-the-top visuals and pick-up-and-play action, fans of the series can once again look forward to hitting the links on the go with the most fun and wacky golf experience available.
Never really cared much for gaming golf in general - I don't even own any of the various Mario Golfs - so this is a non-starter.
Mr Potato Head at Toy Story Midway Mania (YouTube) Exceptional audio-animatronic, but nothing's sadder than a robot going its supposedly interactive, pre-programmed routine with barely anybody paying attention. Watch his eyes though. I love his eyes.
Bakshi in NY Mag (Cartoon Brew) From an interview with legendary subversive animator Ralph Bakshi, his thoughts on "the painter of light" Thomas Kinkade. Hilarious.
I was playing with a Flip video camera this weekend, and I gave it to Clark to shoot whatever he liked. The actual video is way too motion-seasick to embed, so here's some choice stills from his directorial eye.
Batman's sword. Because Batman always has a sword. This is also called "We know light sabers sell, so how can stamp one with a bat-symbol?"
The cell phone that figures heavily into GTAIV's storyline functions is both a blessing and a curse. If you want to set up a relationship-building evening out with your cousin or your girlfriend or whoever, it's easy. Or if you want a quick, almost-random mission involving a drug delivery or car theft... give 'em a call. But once you make some serious contacts across Liberty City, it seems like somebody is always ringing you up and asking if you want to go shoot pool.
Enter Sleep Mode... simply put the phone to sleep and all storyline and friendship related phone calls will stop. Or more accurately, be paused until you choose to end Sleep Mode. This is a terrific option for guys like me who just want to tool around and get to know the streets. This week I felt like I was constantly blowing off calls from Roman, and his little thumbs-down meter meant my relationship with him was suffering. Was it his fault that he always seemed to call me while I was heading towards a plot mission, or after I had already initiated a date with Brucie? Sleep Mode neatly avoids those interpersonal tangles.
So begins my son's interest in Studio Ghibli.
We tried Spirited Away and it was a big hit. So far Clark isn't the kind of kid to run from the TV when things get tense. In fact, he's clearly fascinated by it. Perhaps because he sees so few things that do suspense properly for a preschooler's perspective. Whether or not the Power Rangers will explode the rubbersuit enemy just isn't tense for Clark. It's bubble gum. However, at the beginning of Spirited Away, when Chihiro's parents turn into pigs and she gets lost in a carnival of ghosts and monsters... that's some serious stuff.
Very quickly, the film reveals that the monsters are more silly than scary (in fact, almost nothing in Spirited Away remains villainous for long), and Chihiro soon asserts herself and masters this strange spirit realm. But for that one scene, Clark is visibly on the edge of his seat.
Hey Nintendo. How silly is it that I have to point a camera at my TV to try to get screenshots of the great Mii integration in Mario Kart? You know, like you allowed to do in Smash Bros and then even saved to the Wii Message Board in Metroid Prime 3? I talk to you a lot, and you never answer.
Clark likes to tool around in Time Trial mode. Just unlocked the Quacker this weekend.
There was a really funny comment on Kotaku the other day, where somebody pointed out that the entire enthusiast industry complains that Nintendo ignores and sometimes outright stifles third-party games... and then turns right around and bitches because WiiWare debuted with a pile of diverse third-party games and absolutely no first-party titles. And we all know that Dr. Mario and Pokemon Ranch have been out in Japan for weeks! Waaaaaah!
I think the list of almost 60 WiiWare games stands toe-to-toe with the original content on PSN and XBox Live Arcade. Nintendo has a real chance of achieving late-game parity here, which is unique since the Wii featureset oscillates between Totally Exclusive (Remote, Balance Board, Miis) and Barely Competing (online play, download storage, HD graphics). The Strong Bad game is a total coup.
Rock-and-Roll Fantasy (Newsweek) Article on Harmonix. Nothing much in there that gamers don't already know, but a nice light read about the unexpected success of Guitar Hero and the evolution to Rock Band.
You recall my whining about my WiFi seeming weird... mainly surfacing in impossible-to-watch videos on the new Nintendo Channel. The solution was to change the router to broadcast on wireless channel 11, rather than the default 6.
Have you checked out the Professor Layton trailer? It's really nice. And remember, this is a preview movie of a puzzle game on the DS! Double-nice.
This is how awesome GTAIV is.
GTAIV has this intriguing bit o' marketing where you use your in-game cell phone to tag songs as you hear them on the various Liberty City radio stations. Then you receive a [real world] email with a link to buy and download the song sans DRM. (Info here, but be wary of the unnecessary iTunes jab.) I had heard of this service - called ZiT - but I did not know the proper phone number to call. I remembered seeing ZiT billboards on bus stations, so I cruised around looking for bus stops... but then I thought to check the in-game internet. After a brief stop at tw@, I found the phone number.
To summarize, I used a fake internet to find a fake phone number to mark real songs heard on a fake radio so I could get a real email and download songs on the real internet. Genius.
I wanted to record a little of Clark playing Mario Kart because it's pretty funny. And then I had the idea to compare his style with how I play the game.
I don't know why I think of these things. I was scanning my iTunes library and noticed the fairly wide play spread on the segments of They Might Be Giants' "Fingertips."
Fingertips is a rather unique little song. From their fourth album, Apollo 18 (1992), it's actually 21 super-short mini-songs, strung into one 4:30 arrangement. But as originally presented on the CD, the mini-songs are all cut into separate tracks... so when you listen to Apollo 18 on shuffle, the micro-tunes turn up randomly between the other 17 songs. Sort of experimental for 1992, I guess.
Hilariously, all those tiny tracks have completely flummoxed the iTunes Music Store, which currently has them all for $1 each (the standard single price), even though some of them are no longer than four or five seconds! And if you want to buy the entire Apollo 18 album, it's $25! So that is completely boned. Good news, you can turn them into ringtones!
But it has gotten more difficult to devote time to playing it, what with all the non-Smash gaming going on. This is definitely the longest I've gone between Smash Photo updates, and I hope to not wait as long for the next one. Brawl is a game for the ages... although I've noticed that it has become Uber-Cool for fans and journos to do nothing but rag on its laggy multiplayer. Sigh.
That's a giant Mario getting pummeled, from the event match where you have to fight the company mascot trio of Mario, Sonic and Snake.
Batman's an Asshole (YouTube) Batman sings Dennis Leary's "Asshole" song. This will take you right back to the twenty minutes when that song was popular.
VENTURE BROS. SHIRT of the week club (Astro Base Go) Crazy awesome. For every week there's a new Venture Bros Season 3 episode, they're selling a limited-issue t-shirt. And only for that week, so you have to act fast! The first shirt has the logo of the Guild of Calamitous Intent, which is quite a draw. Shirts are internet-expensive $22 each, unless you become a club subscriber... which gets you all 13 shirts (and a bonus exclusive shirt) for $250. Now that's superfan bait.
Josh and I took the love train to Philly today, for this year's edition of Olfactory Theatre... otherwise known as Wizard World. We both wore the same t-shirts as last year (Josh: The Monarch, me: Ambush Bug) because we had plenty of time to get them washed.
On the way there, we noticed this amazing relic... a original Game Boy still in service. Probably a dedicated Tetris machine, but I did not get close enough to look.
Noticed 
Darkrai at Toys R Us May 31/June 1.
After that ridiculous three-hour install, MGO is merely OK.
It sucked.
Finally! I've been whining about it since before the Wii launched, but we now have the ability to download DS demos from the Wii.
Microsoft is proud of only nabbing 60% of GTAIV sales.
Will GTA keep Niko as series protagonist?
There's 
Sony sent out a press release detailing their major first-party games for the rest of 2008 and into 2009. When is Nintendo going to clue us in about their big games? Animal Crossing Wii is so incredibly due. And anyway, I need time (and rationale) to con all my new Wii owner pals into buying it.
So begins my son's interest in Studio Ghibli.
Barely two weeks old and everybody already hates WiiWare. 
I turned it up to 11.
This is how awesome GTAIV is.
