May 2008 Archives

Josh and I took the love train to Philly today, for this year's edition of Olfactory Theatre... otherwise known as Wizard World. We both wore the same t-shirts as last year (Josh: The Monarch, me: Ambush Bug) because we had plenty of time to get them washed.

On the way there, we noticed this amazing relic... a original Game Boy still in service. Probably a dedicated Tetris machine, but I did not get close enough to look.

We kicked things off with a panel discussion featuring industry legends Chris Claremont, Peter David, Greg Hildebrandt and Tom Brevoort. This picture has Peter David in center, with Chris Claremont on his right. I enjoyed Peter David's lengthy run on Young Justice and I always visit his website. After the panel, Josh realized that he is currently reading one of Peter David's books, X-Factor, so he picked up some collections of issues he missed and got them signed.

The Marvel booth had a giant Hulk statue and 360 demo kiosks of the Iron Man and Hulk games-based-on-the-movies. The DC booth had a ton of free books, posters and pins.

I could not miss the DC panel discussion, led by executive editor Dan DiDio. He previewed some upcoming projects and took questions from the audience. DiDio all but admitted that Final Crisis #1 was dense and tough to understand... in fact, he asked some audience members to explain it, which is really just a clever way for him to gauge consumer reaction and comprehension.

During the Q&A, I stood up and asked if there were any plans to follow up on the mysterious ending to the Captain Carrot and the Final Ark miniseries. DiDio said yes, in a Zatanna book that had not formally been announced. I thought I had scored a surprise scoop, but it turns out that DiDio let the Zatanna news slip two weeks ago at a Seattle con. But now I'm definitely picking up the Zatanna book, if there's any hope of a Zoo Crew angle.

JOSH. IN. SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

Somebody's remote-controlled R2 was wandering the exhibit hall, creating a roving cloud of delight. We also spotted a Death Star mouse droid, which would have been far awesomer if the R2 hadn't upstaged it.

Wizard held ongoing Rock Band and Guitar Hero 3 stage performances most of the day. Note everyone crowded around Rock Band, and the lonely GH3 monitor on the right.

There's retired wrestler Nikolai Volkoff, still wearing that idiotic hat. He muttered "fuck" as Josh and I walked by, while he re-organized whatever was on his display table. Volkoff currently works as a code enforcer in nearby Baltimore. You have to wonder if the restaurants that he shuts down on cleanliness grievances know that they've been visited by one of the 1980s' most hated men in wrestling.

Wizard World always has some great (and some not-so-great) cosplay action. Sure, you have a handful of Batmen, plenty of Stormtroopers, and numerous anime characters coating the walls... but when you spot Jay Garrick, the Golden Age Flash, you know you're in deep. There's nerdy, and then there's nerdy. G.A. Flash, I salute you!

As far as the shopping goes, most of the purchases came from a booth that had boxes of trades at half off. I picked up Essential Fantastic Four #3 (which contains the first Galactus saga!) and the first collection of All-New Atom. Josh walked out of there with a ton... at least three X-Factor hardbacks, another Y volume, and an erection. I also bought a little wind-up Mario Kart playset for Clark, and several packs of the second Eye of Judgment series, bargain priced at $3 each. However many I bought, I should have bought more.

Batman's an Asshole (YouTube)
Batman sings Dennis Leary's "Asshole" song. This will take you right back to the twenty minutes when that song was popular.

Yes, Have A Look Or Two At Fatal Frame IV (Kotaku)
You know things are moving along when the Famitsu scans start showing up. I want to learn to read Japanese so hard. It's due in Japan at the end of July, so a Halloween-ish release in the US seems likely.

VENTURE BROS. SHIRT of the week club (Astro Base Go)
Crazy awesome. For every week there's a new Venture Bros Season 3 episode, they're selling a limited-issue t-shirt. And only for that week, so you have to act fast! The first shirt has the logo of the Guild of Calamitous Intent, which is quite a draw. Shirts are internet-expensive $22 each, unless you become a club subscriber... which gets you all 13 shirts (and a bonus exclusive shirt) for $250. Now that's superfan bait.

Mickey Feio (Wordpress)
Have I linked to this one yet? It's a weblog dedicated to posting ugly drawings of Mickey Mouse. You'll like it.

Suicide Food (Blogspot)
Oooh, another one I keep forgetting to bring up. Suicide Food posts pictures of animal mascots who shill for the food industry, usually presiding over the death of their own kind. Like all the cartoon pigs you see at rib cookoffs.

Darkrai download at TRU (Toys R Us)
Don't forget, this weekend is the Darkrai event at Toys R Us. Show up on Saturday or Sunday from noon to four and download Darkrai directly into your copy of Pokemon Diamond or Pearl. Or show up at five and ask why in the hell they turned off the DS WiFi distribution machine.

But it has gotten more difficult to devote time to playing it, what with all the non-Smash gaming going on. This is definitely the longest I've gone between Smash Photo updates, and I hope to not wait as long for the next one. Brawl is a game for the ages... although I've noticed that it has become Uber-Cool for fans and journos to do nothing but rag on its laggy multiplayer. Sigh.

That's a giant Mario getting pummeled, from the event match where you have to fight the company mascot trio of Mario, Sonic and Snake.

A very calm Pikachu watches the others bake. Maybe Pika has been playing GTAIV lately and therefore less sensitive to all violence.

Or maybe he just had gas.

Aw, this is sad... a look at the Sega characters deemed unplayable for Smash Bros. They're not even good enough to be Assist Trophies. Sorry, Tails. All that time put in and what does it get you? Nothin'.

No comment.

Great story here. We did a four-man match with me, Mike, Noelle and Clark. Clark, naturally, played Pikachu. His thing is to just focus on one button at a time, so he was just sitting on the mansion floor attacking nothing over and over again. Then the Smash Ball shows up, and the three adults in the room all dive for it... each of us leaping directly into Clark's undirected rage.

I don't know why I think of these things. I was scanning my iTunes library and noticed the fairly wide play spread on the segments of They Might Be Giants' "Fingertips."

Fingertips is a rather unique little song. From their fourth album, Apollo 18 (1992), it's actually 21 super-short mini-songs, strung into one 4:30 arrangement. But as originally presented on the CD, the mini-songs are all cut into separate tracks... so when you listen to Apollo 18 on shuffle, the micro-tunes turn up randomly between the other 17 songs. Sort of experimental for 1992, I guess.

Hilariously, all those tiny tracks have completely flummoxed the iTunes Music Store, which currently has them all for $1 each (the standard single price), even though some of them are no longer than four or five seconds! And if you want to buy the entire Apollo 18 album, it's $25! So that is completely boned. Good news, you can turn them into ringtones!

Anyway, here's my Fingertips play chart:

Those counts probably date from as far back as December 2002, when I bought my first iPod. The most played track is #14, the "Something Grabbed Ahold of My Hand" one, with 31 plays. And #9, "Please Pass the Milk, Please," is a faraway last with only 14 plays. And the last time I listened to the song in sequence was in July of last year.

To explain, I typically listen a huge Giants playlist (over 600 songs... it would take over a day to listen to them all in sequence) on shuffle. So the age-old Fingertips gag has been allowed to continue in this digital age.

Of course, I never get through all six hundred songs; if I did that, then each Fingertips cut would have the same play count. This then represents the ongoing random seed of the 21 tracks as they appear through my TMBG playlist.

I don't really think this means anything, other than my ongoing quest for Life Stats.

That, and I thought the iTunes pricing on Apollo was pretty shameful, in a funny way.

I wanted to record a little of Clark playing Mario Kart because it's pretty funny. And then I had the idea to compare his style with how I play the game.

Warning: my bit gets a little blue.

At least it has a happy ending.

I think the unlockable characters are all spoiled in the Time Trial section as well.

I turned it up to 11.

You recall my whining about my WiFi seeming weird... mainly surfacing in impossible-to-watch videos on the new Nintendo Channel. The solution was to change the router to broadcast on wireless channel 11, rather than the default 6.

Have you checked out the Professor Layton trailer? It's really nice. And remember, this is a preview movie of a puzzle game on the DS! Double-nice.

This is how awesome GTAIV is.

GTAIV has this intriguing bit o' marketing where you use your in-game cell phone to tag songs as you hear them on the various Liberty City radio stations. Then you receive a [real world] email with a link to buy and download the song sans DRM. (Info here, but be wary of the unnecessary iTunes jab.) I had heard of this service - called ZiT - but I did not know the proper phone number to call. I remembered seeing ZiT billboards on bus stations, so I cruised around looking for bus stops... but then I thought to check the in-game internet. After a brief stop at tw@, I found the phone number.

To summarize, I used a fake internet to find a fake phone number to mark real songs heard on a fake radio so I could get a real email and download songs on the real internet. Genius.

Taco Bell's vegetarian menu options.

Slim, as you would expect. We ventured into the Bell because we had coupons for free Fruitisto Freeze, or Fruitupa or El Fruitaco or whatever they are. It's a mango slushie with frozen strawberries on it, so it's great. Anyway, the bean burrito (89 cents) and the cheese roll-up (79) are just about the only meat-free options. Good to know.

Wii Fit so sold out.

I wasn't intensely driven to buy Wii Fit, but I figured I'd pick it up if I saw it. Turns out, I can't even see it. Toys R Us, Wal-Mart and Target were all cleaned out this week, although I could have enjoyed some official Wii Fit exercise mats and towels if I so desired.

My TRU did have 40 or so Wiis in stock on Wednesday night, with 25 available today (although I suspect those were from two different shipments, last week's and this week's). Nintendo is really trying to make sure Wiis are available when the big games drop.

Two-man PixelJunk Monsters means starting over.

Suck! When Mike and I spent a weekend doing single-player levels (because I had yet to buy a second PS3 controller), I looked forward to eventually revisiting the tougher levels in multiplayer. Unfortunately, if you select 2P, you get a second, duplicate map. So we had to start over.

It's so much nicer in co-op, we couldn't believe we spent that much time playing it solo.

All gold medals pwned.

I now have gold medals on every Cup, every CC, including Mirror. Much to my surprise, this does not unlock everything.

There's a ton of extra characters and karts, but the requirements get rather steep to find them all. This weekend I unlocked Birdo, Toadette, and Funky Kong. (Funky Kong? Really?) There's plenty more to find - including alternate costumes for Miis - but you need star ranks on every Cup to do so. Nuts.

Getting ready for Wizard World Philly.

Got my event pass, got my train ticket. Josh and I are booked for mega comics hoopla.

Unbelievably, it's impossible to find out a weekend schedule on the stupid Wizard World website. Josh had to go here to find it. Hello, Wizard? You suck.

Metal Gear Solid - Lupin III Style (YouTube)
Just plain beautiful.

Rock-and-Roll Fantasy (Newsweek)
Article on Harmonix. Nothing much in there that gamers don't already know, but a nice light read about the unexpected success of Guitar Hero and the evolution to Rock Band.

Creating My Own Level in LittleBigPlanet (Kotaku)
Everything about LittleBigPlanet is worth reading. Everything.

Just glad Walt didn't call it his Radically Alternative Prototype Experimental Community Of Tomorrow. (Twitter)
Great Twitter update from Cabel Sasser. See, that's what Twitter is good for, collecting one-liners from genuinely awesome people.

E3 2008's Rapidly Shrinking Floorplan Revealed! (Kotaku)
Amazing floorplan layout, featuring such gems as "Microsoft's Ring of Hopeful 3rd Place Avoidance," "LOL, Sega," and "Nintendo's Wagglin' Hall of Non-Games and Letdowns."

Barely two weeks old and everybody already hates WiiWare. The Associated Press has declared the launch lineup disappointing. A recent Nintendo World Report podcast whined about the games being too casual, too boring, and too lacking in big-name releases.

There was a really funny comment on Kotaku the other day, where somebody pointed out that the entire enthusiast industry complains that Nintendo ignores and sometimes outright stifles third-party games... and then turns right around and bitches because WiiWare debuted with a pile of diverse third-party games and absolutely no first-party titles. And we all know that Dr. Mario and Pokemon Ranch have been out in Japan for weeks! Waaaaaah!

I think the list of almost 60 WiiWare games stands toe-to-toe with the original content on PSN and XBox Live Arcade. Nintendo has a real chance of achieving late-game parity here, which is unique since the Wii featureset oscillates between Totally Exclusive (Remote, Balance Board, Miis) and Barely Competing (online play, download storage, HD graphics). The Strong Bad game is a total coup.

As far as the initial lineup is concerned, it seems obvious to me that Nintendo opted for a broad range of games. You have the uber-casual stuff, as represented by a blackjack game, a puzzle game, and a trivia game. You have the more gamery stuff, with My Life as a King and LostWinds. A week later, we have a shooter (Star Soldier R) and Critter Round-Up... which seems to be a compilation of every kind of boxed-in arcade game ever made, encompassing blatant ripoffs of Qix, Snake and that Tron light bikes thing.

I think Dr. Mario is slated for next week.

Some people seem to be outright annoyed that a blackjack game even exists. Like it's somehow a waste to want to play casual games from my big ass couch looking at my big ass HDTV with my big ass friends, rather than cramped in my computer room chair, alone, a foot away from an LCD monitor.

Or they cynically point out that Defend Your Castle can be played for free online. I think these people are overlooking the incredible convenience of having games directly accessible as a Channel. As in, not via the fiddly Internet Channel, and specifically redesigned for Wii in some fashion. I've played both browser-based and Wii-based Defend Your Castle. The Wii version is a lot better. Bigger, sillier, built for the Remote (you can turn guys upside-down!) and ridiculous in multiplayer. Is it GOTY? No. But it's five bucks. I mean, look at this:

Then there's the Afraid of Micropayments group. Oh noes! I'll have to spend $40 to fully enjoy My Life as a King! Or, you could just spend the $15 and then decide if you like it enough to buy all the dippy little upgrades. If you like the game, then maybe the additional $25 will be worth it, right? Jesus. It absolutely kills some of you to spend a little fucking money, doesn't it? Like you don't get ripped off every time you walk out your front door. You know how much it costs McDonald's to make those fries that you think are such a bargain on the Dollar Menu? At least My Life as a King didn't smack you for $50 to begin with and then start begging for change. You know how much I spent on Animal Crossing, because I liked it?

Of course, Nintendo is still looking down the barrel of that 512 megs of memory problem. I had to dump Sin & Punishment (which was a really crappy game, by the way... maybe you absolutely need that N64 claw to play it. I thought it sucked) to make room for future WiiWare grabs. This has GOT to be one of those things where Company A swears up and down that Problem B is in no way a problem, but then does a 180 and secretly develops Solution C. You know, like Sony and rumble or Microsoft and the RROD.

So, can we all let WiiWare cook for a bit before we declare it a miserable failure?

Hey Nintendo. How silly is it that I have to point a camera at my TV to try to get screenshots of the great Mii integration in Mario Kart? You know, like you allowed to do in Smash Bros and then even saved to the Wii Message Board in Metroid Prime 3? I talk to you a lot, and you never answer.

Clark likes to tool around in Time Trial mode. Just unlocked the Quacker this weekend.

In Dry Dry Ruins, your Miis show up on the Sphinx heads! Like Josh here...

Or Steve, who looks very regal. I think you only get the hilarious mega-Mii environs if you use your Mii as a driver. Otherwise it's the regular Mario cast on the statues and whatnot (although you always get the crowd Miis and the mall poster Miis). Racing with your Mii is like turning on a switch that tells the game you're okay with your Miis busting up the Mario canon.

Who's that up ahead on Daisy Circuit? Why, that's Mommy and Daddy? Let's get a closer look...

Unlocked Mirror Mode, which means I have gold medals on all eight Grand Prix series on all three difficulties. That last one - the hardest one, with Bowser's Castle and Rainbow Road - was a little easier than I thought; I only had to play it twice to get the gold. And I lost the first time chiefly due to my own incompetence on the hairpin turns, not so much the AI item barrage. So I got exceptionally lucky. Now it's off to Mirror Mode.

GTA Sleep Mode is a wonderful addition.

The cell phone that figures heavily into GTAIV's storyline functions is both a blessing and a curse. If you want to set up a relationship-building evening out with your cousin or your girlfriend or whoever, it's easy. Or if you want a quick, almost-random mission involving a drug delivery or car theft... give 'em a call. But once you make some serious contacts across Liberty City, it seems like somebody is always ringing you up and asking if you want to go shoot pool.

Enter Sleep Mode... simply put the phone to sleep and all storyline and friendship related phone calls will stop. Or more accurately, be paused until you choose to end Sleep Mode. This is a terrific option for guys like me who just want to tool around and get to know the streets. This week I felt like I was constantly blowing off calls from Roman, and his little thumbs-down meter meant my relationship with him was suffering. Was it his fault that he always seemed to call me while I was heading towards a plot mission, or after I had already initiated a date with Brucie? Sleep Mode neatly avoids those interpersonal tangles.

So begins my son's interest in Studio Ghibli.

We tried Spirited Away and it was a big hit. So far Clark isn't the kind of kid to run from the TV when things get tense. In fact, he's clearly fascinated by it. Perhaps because he sees so few things that do suspense properly for a preschooler's perspective. Whether or not the Power Rangers will explode the rubbersuit enemy just isn't tense for Clark. It's bubble gum. However, at the beginning of Spirited Away, when Chihiro's parents turn into pigs and she gets lost in a carnival of ghosts and monsters... that's some serious stuff.

Very quickly, the film reveals that the monsters are more silly than scary (in fact, almost nothing in Spirited Away remains villainous for long), and Chihiro soon asserts herself and masters this strange spirit realm. But for that one scene, Clark is visibly on the edge of his seat.

Most Nintendo Channel DS demos appear only for a limited time.

Really? What a bunch of crap. What would it hurt to maintain a library of a hundred demos? It's not like you can't walk into a GameStop and still pick up a new copy of Pokemon Trozei, for chrissake. At least keep the demos live for more than two friggin' weeks!

I'm trying to figure out why my WiFi is so slow.

Hearing that others can play Nintendo Channel movies just fine has made me think I have WiFi problems. Tonight I unplugged the wireless webcam and switched my router to G-only (which I think only affects our old Mac iBook), but the Channel movies were still unwatchably buffered. I'm going to let things sit like this and watch for improvement. As long as the new MacBook is off or sleeping, the only devices on my WiFi are the Wii and the PS3.

Oh, and the T-Mobile phone, which has never held a great connection either. Maybe I need a new wireless-G router.

Toyed with a Flip video camera.

There's a lot of internet chatter about the Flip, but I can't shake the feeling that the Flip is one Stevenote away from being totally obsolesced by the iPhone.

For what it does, it's cheap and it works. The quality is better than I expected, although the auto-focus can get confused without you realizing it. I know I don't miss zoom (Seriously, when was the last time you used the zoom on your camera and got anything worth being proud of? Zoom - along with megapixels - is more marketing crutch than useful photography tech.), or fiddling with tapes, or yet another special-ass battery charger... but it would be nice if it could snap stills as well.

I was playing with a Flip video camera this weekend, and I gave it to Clark to shoot whatever he liked. The actual video is way too motion-seasick to embed, so here's some choice stills from his directorial eye.

Batman's sword. Because Batman always has a sword. This is also called "We know light sabers sell, so how can stamp one with a bat-symbol?"

Daddy and Annie.

This is a bag of treats that Zoe ate her way inside

Checking out the lens.

The driveway, through a rainy window screen.

Zoe's tail.

Simba, Pikachu and some Spider-Man toys.

Here's where I pointed the camera at him because he had a mad giggle on. We were hiding in his closet.

Mr Potato Head at Toy Story Midway Mania (YouTube)
Exceptional audio-animatronic, but nothing's sadder than a robot going its supposedly interactive, pre-programmed routine with barely anybody paying attention. Watch his eyes though. I love his eyes.

Bakshi in NY Mag (Cartoon Brew)
From an interview with legendary subversive animator Ralph Bakshi, his thoughts on "the painter of light" Thomas Kinkade. Hilarious.

Belief in God 'childish,' Jews not chosen people: Einstein letter (Yahoo News)
OH NO HE DI'INT!

OK you guys, this kinda puts the lie to all that World's Greatest Scientist Totally Believes in God stuff.

Niko Bellic's Twitter (Twitter)
I actually had this brilliant idea earlier in the week, but somebody beat me to it. Whoever is doing this, I hope they keep it up.

Cho Aniki on Virtual Console (VC-Reviews.com)
Cho Aniki is a gaming in-joke because of a surfeit of ripped bodybuilder imagery... nearly naked male torsos melded with rockets, for example. Every so often, some mag or website runs a screenshot of Cho Aniki and everyone is either aghast or bemused by those crazy Japanese and their homoerotic side-scrolling shooter. Anyway, it's already on the EU Virtual Console. My suspicion is that we'll find that this game really isn't anywhere near as "bad" as people want to think it is. At least, not the first Cho Aniki. Japan made plenty of them.

Sony sent out a press release detailing their major first-party games for the rest of 2008 and into 2009. When is Nintendo going to clue us in about their big games? Animal Crossing Wii is so incredibly due. And anyway, I need time (and rationale) to con all my new Wii owner pals into buying it.

But here's Sony's list... although I cut out some of the crap, like NBA 09:

Hot Shots Golf(R): Open Tee 2 -- PSP (Available June 3, 2008 / E for "Everyone")

Developed by Clap Hanz, Hot Shots Golf(R): Open Tee 2 introduces six challenging new courses, along with new characters to customize using hundreds of accessories. Robust Internet play allows players to challenge other Hot Shots across the globe in tournaments of up to 16 players. Players can tee-off locally with up to eight others via Ad Hoc mode, or engage in a number of single-player modes such as Challenge, Training, and Stroke Play. With the franchise's signature over-the-top visuals and pick-up-and-play action, fans of the series can once again look forward to hitting the links on the go with the most fun and wacky golf experience available.

Never really cared much for gaming golf in general - I don't even own any of the various Mario Golfs - so this is a non-starter.

Secret Agent Clank(TM) -- PSP (Available June 17, 2008 / E10+ for "Everyone 10+")

Ratchet, Clank, and Captain Qwark return to PSP this summer in Secret Agent Clank(TM), an all new adventure where Clank takes the lead as the titular character. Taking cues from spy classics of the past, Secret Agent Clank presents the Ratchet and Clank universe with a spy themed twist, including Clank as the Galaxy's greatest undercover agent dressed in a tuxedo. Developed by High Impact Games, the studio that brought Ratchet & Clank(R): Size Matters to PSP, Secret Agent Clank brings the humor, quality gameplay and action that fans have come to expect from the franchise back to PSP.

You guys. Captain Qwark is the WORST part of the Ratchet franchise. He's not funny; he's a boring, predictable cliche. (Speaking of boring and predictable, did you hear that they might actually make Beyond Good & Evil 2? Ba-zing!) The Ratchet team ought to be doing everything they can to veer away from Qwark, and yet he figures into every damn game.

wipEout(R) HD -- PSN (Available Summer 2008 / Rated E10+)

One of the most beloved PlayStation franchises of all time returns with wipeout(R) HD for PS3. Available exclusively for download on PlayStation Store, players race at blazing speeds and experience adrenaline-filled, anti-gravity racing action in full-1080p High Definition (HD) running at a breathtaking 60-frames-per-second. Featuring a selection of the best tracks from previous versions of the wipEout franchise meticulously reworked for PS3, wipEout HD supports up to eight player online multiplayer racing in addition to various other race modes like Tournament, Time Trial and Speed Lap. Featuring a new Pilot Assist option to help players navigate tracks at blazing speeds, wipEout HD also includes a Photo Mode, support for the SIXAXIS wireless controller's motion sensing controls, and a bumping soundtrack with Dolby 5.1 surround.

The way they insist on spelling wipEout makes me giggle. Not especially interested, although I would like to see all that HD stuff in action.

Elefunk(TM) -- PSN (Available Summer 2008 / E for "Everyone")

Elefunk(TM) is a PS3 construction puzzle game exclusively for download on PLAYSTATION Network. In Elefunk, players are tasked with building bridges and structures capable of supporting elephants as they stroll across treacherous ravines, rivers, fire pits and swamps. Using various materials with real world physics applied to them -- ranging from metal to wood and rope -- players must select the proper materials and pieces to build a structure that will hold up the crossing elephants. With single and multi-player gameplay both on and offline, Elefunk delivers simple and fun gameplay for the casual fan, with leaderboards and challenging modes for the more competitive gamer.

This is the first I've heard of this one. Sounds interesting. I'm always up for an elephant-based civil engineering puzzle game.

PixelJunk(TM) Eden -- PSN (Available Summer 2008 / Not Yet Rated)

PixelJunk(TM) Eden is the third PSN title from the addictive PixelJunk series by Japanese developer Q-Games. In this stunning platform game, the player feels like a small insect seeing a garden for the first time. Within this constantly evolving and vibrant 2D plant environment, the player leaps and swings between lush plants, smashing into approaching enemies and navigating around the undergrowth to gather treasures. Through various levels, the player is treated to stylish 1080p graphics, a dynamic soundtrack and addictive gameplay. PixelJunk Eden supports both single and co-op play.

The PixelJunk guys are 1 for 2 with me, but that 1 is a biiiiiiig 1. So I'm well primed for Eden.

SIREN: Blood Curse -- PSN (Available Summer 2008 / Not Yet Rated)

Released in twelve downloadable episodes, SIREN: Blood Curse delivers a haunting and horrifying story exclusively to PS3. Set in the Japanese village of Hanuda, an American TV crew has arrived to research and film an expose on the legend of a "vanished village." Controlling seven different playable characters, the player must discover the mystery behind the curse that grips the eerie village of Hanuda. The unique "sight jack" system allows the player to see from the point of view of the Shibito, or living dead, to avoid their detection or watch as they close in on the crew. Intense graphics, realistic character animation, and a gritty film-like graphical presentation add to the horror of SIREN: Blood Curse.

I liked the idea of Siren, but I found the first one just about unplayable. However, Siren is very similar to Fatal Frame, so I can see me giving this one a go.

SOCOM: US Navy SEALs Confrontation -- PS3 (Available September 16, 2008 / Not Yet Rated)

With the power of PS3, SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs Confrontation will deliver the most intense and authentic high definition modern combat action. Delivering a global-scale combat experience that has been refined over four generations of the SOCOM franchise, SOCOM Confrontation gives players the opportunity to battle against the best and brightest from the U.S., Europe and Asia. Players will be able to modify their appearance through facial and physical customization and battle across seven North African environments, including a 32-player version of the most popular SOCOM map of all time "Crossroads." Additional themed packs containing new Special Forces, weapons, maps and features will be made available for download via the PLAYSTATION(R)Store.

"Four generations"? That many? Oy. No thanks.

LittleBigPlanet(TM) -- PS3 (Available October 2008 / Not yet Rated)

Developed by Media Molecule, LittleBigPlanet(TM) is a new and hugely innovative PS3 title that establishes a new genre called "creative gaming." LittleBigPlanet allows players to Play, Create and Share inside a glued-together and hand-stitched 3D landscape. Players customize and control their burlap Sackboy (or Sackgirl) character and can PLAY alone or with up to three others, exploring a variety of developer-created levels. Also, using a simple tool system, players can CREATE their own objects and even full levels. Players can then SHARE these creations with their friends or with the world through the online PLAYSTATION Network community.

A million yes's. Hurry up hurry up hurry up. I have such moist anticipation for this one.

BUZZ!(TM) Quiz TV -- PS3 (Available Fall 2008 / Not Yet Rated)

This fall BUZZ!(TM), the popular quiz show franchise, makes its way for the first time to PS3 with BUZZ!(TM) Quiz TV. BUZZ! Quiz TV comes stocked with five different channels of questions including Music, Movies & TV, Sports, Brainiac and Lifestyle, combining to deliver over 5,000 questions. Extending the quiz show network beyond the disc, up to four players from anywhere in the U.S. can team up for trivia showdowns in the online multiplayer mode, Sofa vs. Sofa, and new quiz packs to be available for download from the PLAYSTATION(R)Network. Also, for trivia fans wanting to see if they can trump others with their own vast library of knowledge, Mybuzzquiz.com will provide a global community for players to create and share their own quizzes online and make available to download on PS3.

I have to say I'm interested in this, but not intensely so. I guess it's a modern You Don't Know Jack. The only current Buzz is a very late (like, last year late) PS2 edition with special game show-style controllers. Shouldn't there have been a Wii game like this by now?

MotorStorm(TM) Pacific Rift -- PS3 (Available Fall 2008 / Not Yet Rated)

The most brutal offroad racing festival is back, with players this time attempting to tackle the diversity and unpredictability of a remote Pacific island environment. Developed by Evolution Studios exclusively for PS3, MotorStorm(TM) Pacific Rift revisits the intense racing action introduced in last year's MotorStorm(TM), this time allowing players to navigate a radically different tropical environment chock full of lush jungle, towering peaks, and crystal-clear water. Players will experience a greater selection of tracks and vehicles to choose, as well as extensive multiplayer options including four player split screen and races with up to 20 players online. Additionally players will be able to utilize a new photo mode to save images within the game and for the first time be able to take music from their PS3's HDD to create a customized soundtrack.

Go ahead, guess what feature I like out of that.

Resistance 2(TM) -- PS3 (Available Fall 2008 / Not Yet Rated)

On the brink of annihilation, mankind resumes the fight against the unstoppable Chimera on the shores of the United States. Thus the stage is set for Resistance 2(TM), the highly anticipated follow-up to Insomniac Games' best-selling PS3 launch title. Players will once again step into the war-torn boots of Sgt. Nathan Hale, who not only faces near impossible odds on the battlefield, but also struggles with the Chimera virus raging inside his own body. In addition to an epic single-player campaign, Resistance 2 will offer a truly unprecedented eight-player, class-based online co-op campaign and 60-player online competitive multiplayer built upon a 'massive battles, greater intimacy' mantra. Also, players can expect tightly integrated community support via MyResistance.net.

Eh. Whatever. I really hated the Resistance print ads (they ran those for a solid year!), and the demo wasn't terribly compelling, so I've got nothing for this.

Killzone(TM) 2 -- PS3 (Available February 2009 / Not Yet Rated)

Developed by Guerilla Games, Killzone(TM) 2 is the highly anticipated first-person shooter created exclusively for PS3. Killzone 2 brings a highly detailed, ultra-realistic "theater of war", where players encounter lifelike and adaptable artificial intelligence (A.I.) from enemies as well as fellow soldiers, destructible environments, and stunningly detailed scenery. Set on the hostile enemy planet of Helghan, players will once again join the ranks of the ISA with a directive to battle through the harsh environment to capture the Helghast emperor and bring the enemy war machine to a halt. With an extensive single-player campaign and thrilling multi-player mode, Killzone 2 delivers a host of new weapons, vehicles, and gameplay elements all wrapped in an intense storyline.

Whatever again. You have to be a pretty damned imaginative shooter to catch my eye these days, especially with console controls. These "ultra-realistic" "competitive multiplayer" "tightly integrated" "lifelike and adaptable" "on the brink of annihilation" games just all fail me somehow. See also Haze, The Darkness, Kane & Lynch, and whatever that time warper game was called.

Hey, why wasn't Home on the list? I know, because it sucks? Seriously, if Sony keeps delaying and delaying this thing, it ain't because they want to add more features to it. It's because it's been flawed from the start. Sony knows it, and at this point they're just desperate to find some way to save face. Anybody in the beta want to change my mind? Because it has been so long and I just don't have any faith in this concept anymore.

I wonder, will I really be done with GTAIV and MGS4 by the end of the year?

This ABCs of Gaming t-shirt showed up on Kotaku over the weekend. It's a cute design, but contains too many critical flaws for me to consider buying it. (Unlike, say, this Madness of Mission 6 tee, which I purchased nigh-immediately.)

You can see what's going on here. One game for each letter of the alphabet, culled across the entire history of gaming.

The two big fails are Indiana Jones and X-Men. Whuh? Sure, they've both had video games, but they are not properties created by our beloved industry... so they are right out. This isn't the "ABCs of Pop Culture."

Indy on I shows a lack of gaming cred, because there's a brilliant pro-level choice for I: Ico. Not only is Ico a critical darling and still gets name-checked by the gamerati, but it also provides an instantly recognizable visual... the boy with the horned hat wielding a giant stick. Prior to about three months ago, did anybody even give two shits about Indiana Jones? I have trouble mustering up the interest now. It's like the all-of-a-sudden Holy Crap Ghostbusters Is Sweet thing going around now. Where were all these fans hiding for the last fifteen years?

For X, my two suggestions are Xevious and Xenogears. Xevious could fill the "retro space shooter" category and free up G from Galaga (or Gladius or Galaxian or whatever that ship is supposed to be.) Xenogears would provide a cursory nod to the prevalence of Japanese RPGs. Neither are fantastic selections, but either would actually be a gaming-related choice.

With that ugliness out of the way, let's look at the rest of the alphabet. And I think we should set up a rule that the letter pertains to the name of the game, not the name of the character. So a li'l Lara Croft would be a T, not an L. Isn't it funny how nobody talks about her anymore? Or any of the key PS1 franchises, actually. Crash, PaRappa, Spyro, Tekken, Twisted Metal, Rayman (I discount Raving Rabbids, as do all good Americans)... Resident Evil only recently pulled out of that tailspin. I think we may have a PlayStation curse! The only inoculated franchises are Metal Gear, Gran Turismo and Final Fantasy.

A: Asteroids. Fine. We definitely need to cover all generations. The dragon from Adventure would also be nice, although Homestar kinda ruined the duck's esotericness. The only non-retro choice I would consider is Animal Crossing, but that stupid Asteroids triangle is so recognizable that I can't replace it.

B: Bomberman. Fine, but I worry about the visual parity with the white Mega Man (what's up with that?) There doesn't seem to be many good choices for B (Brain Age? Bully? Battletoads? Burnout?), so I think Bomberman is going to win this by default.

C: Contra. Funny choice, because Contra ("with Lance and Bill") is kind of a joke, although I gather Contra 4 on DS is quite good. Could also take Castlevania, Crash Bandicoot, Chu Chu Rocket, even Conker.

D: Donkey Kong. DK has certainly earned his place in the pantheon, and I like having non-human characters on the shirt, but he's too closely associated with the Mario family... which, as we'll see, is a little too well-represented. But the best substitutes I can think of are Dance Dance Revolution and Duke Nukem. So I don't know.

E: Excitebike. Well, it beats Endless Ocean or Elemental Gearbolt. Maybe Earthworm Jim? Shame Elebits had no impact, because a pile of those little electric dudes would be great.

F: Frogger. I think we have too many retro choices here, but I understand why that is: the shirt is trying to go for mass appeal and the older games have pop cultural cache that outranks their usefulness to gamers. Still, F could be Final Fantasy, as represented by a moogle or cactaur or something.

G: Galaxian, Gyruss, Galaga, Gradius, I don't know what that ship is from and that's a problem. G is Grand Theft Auto, but then you have the unenviable position of deciding what best represents GTA. CJ? Niko? A car? So I wonder if it wouldn't be better to go with something from God of War, Guitar Hero or Gauntlet. I'll say Guitar Hero since then you can just, you know, have somebody else hold a guitar.

H: Halo. I don't think I have any quibble with that. Halo owns H. Pwns it, even.

I: Indiana Jones must die. Ico. There's also I-Ninja, Ikaruga or Ice Climber, but forget them. This is Ico.

J: Joust. Nice ref. Joust is one of the few coin-op classics that hasn't been done to death. And like H, there is almost nothing else that comes to mind to fill the slot. Joust it is, then.

K: Katamari Damacy. Thank you very much. There's also Klonoa, Kirby or Kingdom Hearts... but no. The King of All Cosmos would never forgive me.

L: Luigi? OK, you could use Luigi's Mansion as the game here, but we all know that this artist doesn't know enough about gaming to dive that deep into the oeuvre. An interesting problem is presented since L ought to be Legend of Zelda... but unfortunately we NEED to place Zelda as our Z. L could be a Lemming or a LocoRoco. But not Luigi. Never Luigi.

M: Mega Man, but in his so-incredibly iconic white costume? O RLY? I didn't even recognize him at first. I was never a big Mega Man fan, so what about Metroid, Mario Kart, Myst, Missile Command, or, duh, Metal Gear Solid?

N: Ninja Gaiden. Not a lot of choices here.

O: Oregon Trail. I guess. I love the visual joke of the yoshis as oxen. Okami is another Ico-level choice, but at this point even simply mentioning Okami reeks of desperation.

P: Pitfall. Yeah, ok. But it seems strange to go retro with Pitfall rather than Pac-Man. I'd choose Pokemon, as represented by Pikachu. Or perhaps Pong, which would be a nice VERY old school inclusion.

Q: Quake. As compared to what, Qix?

R: a Rabbid, from Rayman Raving Rabbids. No. R is Resident Evil because you can use a zombie. It's high time we got over the long national nightmare of Raving Rabbids.

S: Mario, for Super Mario Whatever. Awful usage. It follows my rule about game titles, but being right beside an L for Luigi makes you wonder who Mr. S is, even though you know it's Mario. Still, Mario is almost a necessity. You can't skip him. So I would keep the S but place it between the brothers; they were both in Super Mario Bros, after all. If we shift him to another letter (M, P or D), some other good S's are Space Invaders, Street Fighter, The Sims, and Sonic the Hedgehog. It really hurts that we have to choose Super Mario over Sonic, but he's just been so sucky lately.

T: Tetris. Brilliant. Of course. I'm almost ashamed to bring up Tomb Raider or ToeJam & Earl.

U: Ultima. Tough one. There's always Unreal, but we're sort of top-heavy on testosteroney shooters.

V: Virtua Fighter. Another tough one, with the only other possibility I can think of being Viewtiful Joe which, quite frankly, isn't worth it. SEGA!

W: WarCraft. I like WarCraft. It's a good choice, particularly since the red-and-green orc harkens back to the 2D originals. If you wanted to avoid PC-based games, Wii Sports would be a very trendy selection here.

X: Complete no to poor Professor X there. Xenogears by default, unless we feel we need the retro-shooter nod of Xevious.

Y: Yoshi, of several games that begin with Yoshi. Can't think of anything else, which is why I'm pretty set on ditching Donkey Kong and Luigi as letter-holders.

Z: Zelda, sadly. I hate how this breaks the strict naming convention, but wasn't Zelda II officially called "Zelda II" anyway?

So my highly personal final tally is Asteroids, Bomberman, Contra, Dance Dance Revolution, Excitebike, Final Fantasy, Guitar Hero, Halo, Ico, Joust, Katamari, LocoRoco, Mario Kart, Ninja Gaiden, Okami, Pokemon, Quake, Resident Evil, Sonic, Tetris, Ultima, Virtua Fighter, WarCraft, Xevious, Yoshi, Zelda. I'm killing some of the existing gags, but we could surely come up with new ones.

My list covers popular games, cult games, non-traditional games, puzzle games, PC games, portable games, fighting games, shmups, music games, sidescrollers, mascots, platformers, driving games (sort of), RPGs, RTSs, FPSs, retro games, modern games, and games from Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft. The only omissions that really hurt me are MGS and GTA.

There's a sequel to Viva Pinata coming, which, at this point, is more licensed material for the animated series than anything else. Since its release in November 2006 (and it was hyped as a BIG release, even though Bill Gates would later refer to the game as something they made for young girls), it's only sold a million copies. For comparison, Animal Crossing, perhaps its nearest conceptual cousin, sold almost 3 million on GameCube and over 9 million on DS. Although selling a million on the 360 puts you in the company of Dead Rising, Saints Row and Crackdown, (according to Wikipedia), so it's not like there's nobody asking for a sequel.

No, what pissed me off today was this section of the Viva Sequela one sheet:

A never-before-seen feature called Pinata Vision allows players to plug in an Xbox LIVE Vision camera and interact with the game through the use of printed cards that feature a unique barcode. With Pinata Vision, gamers can simply flash a pinata card up to the Vision camera, and the content will drop directly into the game.

Seriously you guys? "never before seen"? Never before seen on the Xbox 360 I suppose. Because I've been playing Eye of Judgment for a while now. Where I flash cards at the PlayStation Eye and content drops directly into the game.

Oh, oh, oh, and a couple years ago? I was scanning barcode cards on my Nintendo eReader back on the GBA. That would drop content directly into Animal Crossing, Super Mario Advance 4, and Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire. Ho ho, those were the days.

But I get that it's PR craptalk. I get that companies lie. What totally galls me is that people hated the eReader. Utterly despised the poor thing. "Nintendo is making us buy cards to unlock content that's already in the game!" "I'm paying $30 for Mario Advance 4, and I'm not getting all the levels on the cart unless I pay another $5 for a pack of lousy trading cards!" Sure, I defended it. I bought the cards. In some cases (like Mario Advance 4), the cards genuinely did add content not found on the original game pak. In others (like Animal Crossing), you were simply receiving items that were in the game but difficult to find. And in the case of the super-sweet Pokemon-e TCG expansion sets, scanning the cards unearthed a whole new dimension of mini-games, pokedex data, even secret card attacks. I'm still upset that didn't take off.

People hated the eReader. To the critical eye, it was a sign that an ailing Nintendo was desperately grasping for a new revenue stream... that of trading cards. People said it was a foul portent of micropayments, and developers holding back on content so they can charge a premium for it in card form. It would unbalance online modes (or would have, if Nintendo 2003 had any kind of online presence).

Does any of that apply to the 360? Or is it all OK now... after all, we've had a couple years to warm up to Horse Armor-style micropayments and pay-to-play levels that are indeed secretly locked on the disc.

Anyway, does anybody harbor any illusions that people will embrace this scheme in the year 2008? Hardcore Pinata-heads (like I was with AC and Pokemon) will love it, I guess. If Nintendo could not make this idea work with Pokemon, if Sony is pretty much failing with Eye of Judgment, Microsoft is not going to magically strike gold with Viva Pinata. But the job of press releases is to make you think they are.

Microsoft is proud of only nabbing 60% of GTAIV sales.

Worldwide, there are nearly 19 million 360s, to only 12 million PS3s... yet only slightly more than half of GTAIV's launch week sales went to the 360 version. Out of the 6 million copies sold, 3.2 mill were the 360 version and 2.6 were for the PS3.

A console that boasts an additional 7 million consoles in homes (I know, I know, these numbers do not factor in broken consoles, of which Microsoft has plenty, nor account for people who own more than one of the same console), a console that paid $50 million for "exclusive" to-come DLC content, a console that offers the robust Live experience and the wholly unique achievement concept... can't even manage to properly smash the competition on the biggest game made to date.

By rights, this should have been an 80/20 split. So either there's far fewer working 360s out there than the 19 million would suggest... or people still think of GTA has a PlayStation franchise, regardless of what the 360 can offer.

Will GTA keep Niko as series protagonist?

Based on clues inside the game and on Rockstar's website, rumors are swirling that GTAIV frontman Niko Bellic will hop a flight from Liberty City to San Andreas for the next GTA game.

I really like this idea... that we'll follow one man through this generation's GTA games. Could be absolutely epic. I predict he dies at the end of the trilogy. Also, I predict a trilogy.

Boom Blox very good.

When Toys R Us gives you lemons (no copies of The World Ends With You in stock), you make lemonade (pick up Boom Blox instead)!

So far, it's a really nice (third party!) example of how to create a compelling game using only the Wii Remote. Blocks are stacked up, and you swing the Remote at the screen to knock them down. The kind of blocks, the kind of ball, the way you throw, the number of throws you are allowed... it all adds up to create a very unique puzzle game.

Clark is having a bit of a chore mastering the controls, through. First you have to point at the screen, which he doesn't quite get. Then you have to lock in your target by holding down the A button, which is tough for his little hand. Then you swing and let go of the button as you do so... he can swing, but often can't time the A release well enough. Although when he gets it, he is completely thrilled to watch the blocks tumble.

And by the way, my Toys R Us was completely sold out of Wii Fit pre-orders, which never ever happens. This thing is going to be huge.

Cookie & Cream very bad.

Wow. $10 in the Please Shoplift Me section of Best Buy, and I'm not even sure it's worth that. I loved the PS2 original, but this DS adaptation manages to ruin every positive memory I have.

The gimmick is that you control one rabbit on the top screen, sort of normal platformy stuff. But when you get to a roadblock, you have to jump on a button so the action can switch to the second rabbit on the touchscreen. There you have to perform simple stylus tasks to clear the impediment for the first rabbit. OK, sure, two screens, two rabbits, should be a nice little multitasking test...

Except that the game is viciously determined to make sure you fail. The evil timer tricks from the first game have survived intact, with no allowance for the computer to cut you a break because this time you're trying to run both rabbits (as compared to the original, which was largely a two-player game). Remember how when one rabbit would stand still for too long, something would come along and eat time off the clock? Still happens here, except it's more punishing because you only stood still because your brain just shifted to control the other rabbit. Remember how the slightest misjump into water would kill the first rabbit and drop time off the clock? Still here. Regularly, one confusing minigame completely drains the timer as you fumble with the stylus, fall into pits, and run into enemies. A disaster.

One of the minigames requires you to play piano by ear. After failing to duplicate a random three-note sequence on a sixteen key piano, I turned the game off and returned the cartridge to the case. Fuck that.

Finally, Portal.

After getting "Still Alive" in Rock Band, I have become intensely curious about Portal. So I leaped at a Target sale on Orange Box this weekend (Orange Box, for the unwashed, contains Portal, Team Fortress 2, and Half-Life 2... and it has really unmarketable cover art). The $60 PS3 game was already discounted to $30. We had an internet coupon for $5 off any $25 toy purchase... and video games count as toys. Then we had $10 in gift cards leftover from some Pepsi promotion last month (which we combined with Pepsi coupons for an even better deal). So Orange Box ended up costing me $15, which is $5 less than what Portal sells for alone as a PC release. Even if I never play Team Fortress 2 and Half-Life 2, this is a bargain.

It will be a bit before I get to this, however.

Mario Kart is forcing me to cull my Mii herd.

I love seeing my Miis pop up all over the Mario Kart Wii tracks. Not only are they found cheering by the side of the road, but they show up on billboards, murals, even giant statues.

What I don't love is seeing all those stupid Miis that I made for the Check Mii Out Channel. So this week I deleted a pile of non-family-and-friend Miis, so as to improve the level scenery in Mario Kart. Seeing three of my friends in those cars at Coconut Mall is funny. Seeing a Gingerbread Man, Diddy Kong and Pee Wee Herman is not.

Clark is getting a grip on Mario Kart.

My boy made some serious headway toward mastering Mario Kart this week. When he first played, he tended to just tilt the Wii Wheel to one side and drive in circles. Now he has learned to keep the Wheel moving so he can follow the road. Of course, he lacks the feather touch required to stay in the race, but at least now he can make some forward headway. He also knows about the "present button," and a good portion of any race is him going after Item Boxes for "presents." His favorite is the Bullet Bill.

What helped him learn the technique (aside from the Wii Wheel itself being something he can easily understand, having real-world experience in steering his kiddie bikes and cars) was playing a coin battle in Funky Stadium. With no set road and no dropoffs, he had a chance at actually hanging around long enough to internalize the concept. Plus, Funky Stadium has plenty of presents and jumps... and he loves jumps too. He also loves being able to race as his own Mii.

Clark and I played a few online races against worldwide competitors. One fellow in England was using his Batman Mii, and that was instantly a Big Deal. "We race Batman, daddy?"

continued from here

MIKE: I most certainly agree that movement for many of the miniatures games is downright hideous. However, as I only play those games with people I like, it really doesn't become too much of an issue. Pretty much that person is you, so I have no worries. When [old pal] Chris gets involved I know to run away at flank speed as he can get a bit touchy about the whole process, but that is also the same person who cheated for years at Stratego with me. I do seem to recall a bit of testiness when you two fine lads played Pirates two summers ago.

JOE: Oh my god, I just want to forget that he and I ever played Pirates. Not only is it sad that he and I got into it over a stupid game, but also that we neutered the game's balance. Would you agree that I'm extraordinarily picky about things like that? Maybe I'm naive about game designers, but I want to trust that the ruleset exists in a delicate, intricate structure... so you can't just toss something out without affecting something else. In the Pirates case, we played that any ship could fire ALL cannons as long as at least one was in range. This gives the bigger ships an unfair advantage, negating their usual penalties of speed, position and range.

Not that I haven't encountered genuinely bad, poorly-tested games. Killer Bunnies is just a disaster from start to finish. The Inuyasha TCG is absurdly bad. Didn't we "figure out" Loco inside of three hands? I still don't quite get the fairness of the endgame in Monsters Menace America. We asked the poor Zatch Bell TCG demo guy, "So if you never shuffle your deck (which is a key point in this game), won't every game between the same decks always play exactly the same?" And I remember you declared Kill Doctor Lucky broken almost immediately.

Of course, that doesn't even begin to address all the games that I consider failures just because they do not measure up to their license's potential... Vs., Teen Titans, Dragon Ball Z, etc. Did you hear that Marvel Comics is doing ANOTHER collectible card game? That's Number Four, if you're counting. It just kills me when I get all excited about a new licensed game - because it's a license I'm really, really into - and then it comes out all generic and weak. Right now, the Kingdom Hearts TCG is right on the bubble of that, although the first expansion set seems pretty interesting.

So let's see, I know I've made you play more than a couple of those... but of course, I've played a bunch of your abstract games as well, so we just might be even. (Although I'm going on a lifetime achievement of Never Playing Scrabble With You.) Since I had such success getting you into Doomtown, I think I tried again and again to duplicate that. Because there's such a glorious intimacy when you and your mates are actively pursuing a collectible card game. You're always checking out new cards, trying out new deck ideas, eagerly anticipating the next release. You know all the loopholes, the buzzwords, the killer combos. That's the social metagame that I really enjoy, the camaraderie. I haven't hit on the next Doomtown-level experience for you and I, but not for lack of trying (Vs., Pirates, Pokemon...)

Doomtown is like the perfect game for both of us. A lot of odds thanks to the poker angle, the logic and combos of a good TCG, a solid physical component where table layout matters, and a rip-roaring, engaging backstory. I wonder if we'll ever find another game that equals that, because I do feel that every game since Our Doomtown Heyday has just been sort of spinning our wheels. I haven't been into anything as seriously as that.

Assuming that we never advance more than casually into Pokemon, and that you've avoided Pirates for entirely acceptable reasons, and that even I have given up on Vs., the only offerings I can make at the moment are the aforementioned Kingdom Hearts (which I am buying for a little while yet, and I acknowledge that the license means nothing to you), and Eye of Judgment. I still think - and was surprised to discover - that Eye of Judgment is a solid game... but I don't think I can get you to play it. I think the technical gimmickry of it makes you more than a little wary? If I may speculate here, I think you have a sense of when you personally are being "sold" and EoJ's stupidly complicated investment (PS3 + camera + cards) is an instant non-starter. TCGs in general trip your alarm, I think; even when we were both into Doomtown, you would only buy sparingly and purposefully... which sort of removes you from the pointed, expensive marketing that accompanies the random-pack TCG model. Heck, in our Magic days, I think you spent $30 tops, and then traded up for all the great cards you ended up with.

MIKE: I am willing to give Eye of Judgement a whirl, but I don't see the need for the camera and sexy visuals. It does seem to have an interesting idea and of course because you are my game daddy, let's give it a go.

JOE: EoJ has figured out how to leverage the PS3 as part of the game. Yes, turn off the battle animations. Nothing new there. But the way it tracks your cards' attack and health, plus all the myriad ways that cards can affect each other... I think that's a real advantage. It allows for some of that tabletop complexity that I like, without all the messy micromanagement of the details. The PS3 does all of that for you. I'd like to see Sony push it even further and include more card abilities that rely on the computer-controlled aspect. It's clear that they have no desire to see people play the game without having purchased a PS3, so why not go all the way? Why half-assed pretend that MAYBE somebody out there is trying to play Eye of Judgment without the gear? In fact, one enterprising fellow did make his own Eye of Judgment game board set and guess what... it looks exactly like the kind of games you avoid: lots of tokens, lots of little rules!

MIKE: I agree with what you said about Doomtown - the combination of poker, collecting cards and the visual of building a town is just a tremendous pull for me. Since it didn't have a tie in to other fantasy games, that actually made it much easier for me pick up and play. I know you are fully vested in the various licenses of fantasy books and games, but to me they hold almost no interest. So when games piggyback onto their histories, I am already missing much of the backstory and don't really care to figure much of it out. But a whole new idea, that I can go for.

That's why I like to pester you about making your own game because we could come up with something brand new that also has many of the elements of other games we enjoy. And what about chess? I could get you into that. You also have that really nice backgammon set you won from the Lord of the Rings guy. Just sayin'.

JOE: Yeah, the thing about me and licensed stuff is that the mistakes just seem so obvious. DC/Marvel Vs. just does not feel like a super-hero battle to me. It's too clinical, too methodical. When I first showed you that one, I thought you might glom on to it because it is more math-esque in design... a lot of attack/defense number trickery backed up with a tiny bit of tactical table position. It was not comics enough for me, and I guess not math enough for you. I ended up buying packs just to collect it, and - you won't believe me - but I hate doing that. I don't want to simply collect. I want to play those cards!

I have considered how I would make a super-hero card game. I have preliminary notes on one based on the old DC Zoo Crew comic, which just proves that no property is too obscure for me to devote some serious game design thought. I don't think ANYBODY has gotten it right, but that's sort of the ongoing curse whenever an attempt is made to translate comic book super-heroes to other media. It's very, very difficult. TV, movies, video games, novels, tabletop games... it never feels right.

About Doomtown and backstory... I initially pooh-poohed Doomtown specifically because I didn't know the setting and characters. I remember reading - back when A) WOTC owned Doomtown and B) WOTC had a magazine - about each dude card being unique and thinking how stupid that sounded. I was walking in from Magic where card uniqueness almost never happened; except for all those Legend cards, of course. And those got a lot of play, as I do not recall. (Quick, name your favorite Magic Legend! Mine is Nebuchadnezzar, but I forget precisely why.)

My way of thinking at the time was the preponderance of unique cards would make deck-building a chore, but that wasn't the way it turned out. And I ended up practically hypnotized by the ongoing Doomtown storyline... I'm sure we'll get that Final Fiction any day now, right? (The Final Fiction is the long-awaited culmination to the Doomtown storyline, promised to the fans ever since the game died in 2001. Last I heard, it was mostly written, but both the freelancer who started the project and AEG - the last company to print Doomtown cards - could no longer afford to devote the time to finish it. Although AEG still retains the Doomtown license, so hope springs eternal...)

To be continued...

Too many cats. (YouTube)
This is really funny at first, until you start thinking about it.

osu!
This is the first time I've wanted a Windows setup in years: there's a homebrew PC-based Ouendan/EBA copycat, that allows you to make your own song levels!

twisney.com
Whee! Twitter-style info only from people inside Disney World. Now that's targeted! I love the flickr gallery.

First Official Trailer for Wolverine and the X-Men (Toon Zone)
Isn't it weird how we keep having to re-launch the same super-hero cartoons every few years?

What Grand Theft Auto IV gets right about gangland and illegal economies. (Slate)
Interesting take on GTAIV from someone who knows gang culture. Spoiler: real life is worse.

Meatless Like Me (Slate)
Great modern vegetarian article. I'm with this guy about 90%.

THQ Gets Marvel License - Sort Of
Please include hundreds of characters. Please make it like Lego Star Wars but fix everything that was wrong with Lego Star Wars. Please don't suck. And also, make a DC version.

Finally! I've been whining about it since before the Wii launched, but we now have the ability to download DS demos from the Wii.

It's buried inside a menu of an app primarily designed to play commercials, but it's there.

The Nintendo Channel launched this morning, to everyone's surprise. Nintendo just loves to manipulate their own little universe. Sony would have announced this three weeks ago; Microsoft would have made it part of a Mountain Dew promotion. I think I've made that comparison joke before.

Video playback is predictably crappy, due to both server load and the general Wii online slowness. No matter what video I picked, it would only run about 12 seconds of it, then sit and load again for another thirty seconds. When a video is about a minute long, having it take five minutes to watch it - in pieces - just isn't worth it. I would like to watch promo videos. I would even watch videos for games I already own, just because. But if it's not fast and easy to click through a pile of them, I'll just head back to my iMac.

Hopefully this will smarten up soon, or no one is going to bother. At that point, it won't matter how nice the presentation.

Which IS nice. Although I wish Nintendo would have standardized the back-to-Wii-menu buttons! In one Channel, it's bottom left. In the next, it's top right. In one, it's a home icon. In another, it simply says "Wii." Jesus.

I like how the little "new" icons strobe in time with the music.

As far as DS demos go, that too was slooooow. But at least there's some kind of reasonable excuse there, because first the Channel has to load the entire demo data then switch over to broadcast mode so your DS can grab it. It takes a fair amount of standing around the mall when you go for demos at retail as well... but now we'll never do that again, will we. I tried out three DS demos tonight, and I wasn't even wearing a shirt!

First I checked out Disney Friends, which is the Mouse's blind stab at Nintendogs. Only not all dogs. The demo tutorial sets you up with one of the green alien guys from Toy Story. After tickling him for a bit (oooooooooooooo!), I bailed out for Flash Focus.

I quite liked the Flash Focus demo. I may have to pick that up, because it's a $20 or less cheapie these days. (SEE NINTENDO, IT WORKS. WAY TO GO NOT GIVING US DEMOS A YEAR AGO.) Flash Focus is a visual Brain Age. So, mini-games bracketed with a lot of medical jargon. "This test measures your visual acuity and hand-eye coordination!" Yeah, what video game doesn't.

The truncated Eye Age Test (yes, they play the "age" thing again) gave me a score in the 20s. Which is as good as it gets, bitch. Suck on my eyes, balla!

Then I went after the Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword demo. The controls are very, very nice. The ninja guy bounces all over the screen, killing whoever you slash with the stylus. Being a demo, I doubt I graduated much past the pen-based equivalent of button-mashing, but I could see how smarter play and tighter motions would build skills.

I hope Nintendo keeps this demo list alive and hopping, with weekly updates adding to today's list of nine demos. They already have a back catalog of demos they could draw from (I'd like to try Pokemon Trozei again!) I never see anybody using the DS Download Center kiosks in stores, so I think most people don't realize you can do this... having it in the living room should get more people to try it. It's kind of like a free Virtual Console.

Also played some Mario Kart tonight, finishing off the eight 100cc races. Now I can race as Mii. And I played in the online tournament until I beat my sister's score.

It sucked.

The costume is horrible. There better be hours of screen test footage proving why they can't make a decent fabric-based cowl, because this rubber head bullshit is just pathetic. Christian Bale's chin looks really uncomfortable in there. You know what's key to being a really great hand-to-hand combatant? Being able to turn your head. It's no wonder all these fight scenes are chopped up to hell, because it's ridiculous. Every time Qui-Gon smashes Batman's head through a window, he looks like a garden statue.

Why all the flying? Why is Batman gliding through 40% of these last thirty minutes? Is gliding cool?

Was that Bullock? Did he live?

I liked the fear gas hallucination stuff. Had I watched the preceding two hours, I suspect I may have enjoyed the Scarecrow.

Katie Holmes looks absolutely terrible in her exit scene. Is her makeup intended to make her look older, because it's just accentuating lumpiness. I think she's doing a bad Drew Barrymore impersonation with that weird right-side facial twitch. Which, by the way, isn't even close to attractive when Drew Barrymore does it.

And yeah, right, she's a District Attorney. And Kate Bosworth is a tough-as-nails ace reporter.

I hate that Batmobile.

Is that kid ok? Last I saw him, DA Revlon Girl was holding her hand over his eyes.

What is with the Brooding Philosopher crap? "It's not who I am underneath... but what I do that defines me." I'm guessing that's a reference to an earlier conversation between Bruce and Mrs. Tom Nutjob.

Ah, Joker tease. I vaguely remember reading about that. Interesting that Gordon implies that Batman is more or less responsible for the inevitable rise of the costumed super-villain.

You know, Gary Oldman was the only thing worth watching in the entire half hour.

I honestly didn't hold a great deal of anticipation for The Dark Knight... and seeing this did nothing to improve that.

Darkrai at Toys R Us May 31/June 1.

Jeez, Nintendo Power always slips this into the ass-end of the mag where no one ever sees it.

The weekend of May 31st is this summer's big Pokemon event at Toys R Us... and this time the downloadable prize is Darkrai, a secret legendary pokemon that was ruined for all of us by hackers about three minutes into the release of Diamond/Pearl. NP also says that ALL DS games will be $5 off.

After that ridiculous three-hour install, MGO is merely OK.

It's all right. I had some fun standing on a roof and killing enemies as they tried to climb up my ladder. It's only a beta, but I bet it's awfully close to the final version. Is MGO still a free pack-in with MGS4? I don't even know any more.

Metal Gear is such an engrossing solo experience for me, that I'm not at all excited for a big online multiplayer iteration. Unless I knew like twelve guys with PS3s, but that seems highly unlikely. At the least, MGO shows the visual depth we can expect from MGS4.

Pirates: the continual disappointment.

So each new Pirates set has some kind of cool-looking new ship type, which gets you all excited about buying boosters. And then you find out that the new types are super-rare and you'll never ever pull them.

The latest set, Fire and Steel, comes with special cannonball pieces that simplify the always-tricky range issue. Something like that ought to be a game-changer, ought to be the kind of thing that makes the game easier to play and thus readily available. And yet I've been through several boosters with nothing but the same normal, boring-ass shaped ships that I already have by the landfill-full.

And what's up with the rarity distribution? I've had several packs with NO rares or uncommons, and then I scored one pack with three rares! Hey dumbasses, I realize you can't fit that many ship cards in one booster, so how about changing the rarity scheme so that you only have commons and rares. And each pack has one rare and two commons. This is hardly a shocking revelation, but buying booster after booster with nothing but goddamn commons in it is killing my enthusiasm.

Monty Python Fluxx!

Not that I'm thrilled to see Fluxx become the themed-Monopoly of indie card games, but Monty Python Fluxx is an instant win.

Tony Tollin emailed me!

Fanboy gush! Anthony Tollin was the colorist on a large percentage of early Ambush Bug books (mid-80s, mostly), and he found my Ambush Bug website! He emailed me with kudos.

Since one of Keith Giffen's running gags was to include the names of the creators in the book (largely to poke fun at them), this is almost like getting emailed by a member of the Bug's supporting cast.

This week's best bit from work.

One of the funniest things we do at work is spontaneously creating characters, usually vulgar or inspired by a twisted view of one of our fellow employees. Like Franz the German guy who likes balls (yes, those balls), or turning someone else in the department into a polite-yet-dangerous sexual predator. This week, the guys were pissed at me over some imagined slight, so it was my turn to be characterized... as the guy who will no longer be invited to Game Night.

Them: "Sweet game night planned... Brawl, Olympics, Guitar Hero... SHHH, here comes Joe."

Me: "Hey guys, did I hear a game night?"

Them: "Yeah, no. Not really, shame you can't come, right?"

Me: "Oh. Oh, sure. I guess I am busy. Still, I can meet up online, right?"

Them: "Right, yeah. Online. We'll all totally be in, uh, Endless Ocean around, say, nine. We'll see you there; bring your, uh, fish!"

And the final scene was me in SCUBA gear, alone, waiting in the Endless Ocean lobby zone for hours, listening to a single MP3 looping over and over again... Billy Joel's "Captain Jack."

Noticed this weblog meme going around and found it interesting enough to participate, especially in light of this weekend's Free Comic Book Day.

1) What was the first comic you remember reading?

Probably a Harvey book. Or something Uncle Scrooge.

I had a bunch of Richie Rich / Casper / Hot Stuff. Like, 1979 or so. I definitely favored the Casper and Hot Stuff books, as I found the concepts of ghosts and devils much more interesting than the adventures of a rich snot.

Oooooh, just remembered Spooky. Casper's asshole cousin. I liked Spooky a whole lot.

2) What was the first comic that made you realize that you might be in this for the long haul?

Probably the first Ambush Bug mini (1985). The first issue I read was #3, where Ambush Bug points out all the ridiculous continuity and forgotten Silver Age characters of the DCU... and it made me want to find out more. I learned a lot about persistent fictional universes, which is to say I learned that they exist.

Ambush Bug grabbed me because it was a comedy book. With that being a rather rare beast, it didn't necessarily lead directly into buying more comics, just nurtured an understanding and appreciation of the form. It wasn't until the late '80s Black & White Explosion that I started buying books on a regular basis from a specialty shop.

3) If you had to make a snap decision to take one comic or one comic run to a desert island, what would it be? Don't think too hard!

Wow. How about the complete Battle Royale? It's long enough that it will take some serious time to read. It's deep enough that it provides something to think about. And, it actually ends, so, in a situation without future books, I'd at least have closure.

Also for consideration... the original Books of Magic miniseries, Kingdom Come, the Giffen Justice League, the first ten or fifteen issues of TMNT, and Don Rosa's Life and Times of Uncle Scrooge. But I'm not sure if I'm picking those as serious contenders or just listing stuff that I haven't re-read in a while. I'm not even going to mention Watchmen because I'm sure every deserted island already has a copy on hand somewhere.

Part of my problem with selecting any modern ongoing books for this question is that the story arcs never end... teaser elements of the next arc always slip in there. If I'm going to live without comics, I don't want any dangling threads.

Funny Pokemon Movie (YouTube)
It's really slow, but I think it may be funny because it's so slow.

State moves to ban fake testicles on vehicles (Yahoo News)
At least this keeps one or two politicos from launching another obnoxious attack on television or video games.

Screens of Talim in Soulcalibur IV (Kotaku)
Talim. Purchase confirmed.

QUARTERMANN: FIRST INFO ON BUNGIE'S NEXT HALO? (1UP)
The link doesn't list everything Quartermann says in the print version, so here's the rumors that interested me: BioShock on PS3 this September, Red Dead Revolver 2 in process, and Rock Band 2 this fall. Although the Rock Band 2 rumor further goes on to suggest that there are no new instruments, just new "modes" (and I presume, new songs). Those better be some damn sweet new modes if they expect to support a $60 release.

The Case for Mr. Jones / The Case Against Mr. Jones (Absorbascon)
Brilliant dueling defense and indictment of J'Onn J'Onzz, DC's Martian Manhunter. Naturally, Two-Face argues both sides.

THE EYE OF JUDGMENT- FREE CARD FRIDAY and INFO ON NEXT UPDATE (PlayStation Blog)
Oh come on. "Only the first 500 to sing up" will receive three free promo cards in the mail? Hey Sony: you're charging $15 for the Eye of Judgment Set 2 update. For the cost of sending out three cards, you can almost guarantee the recipient is going to spend the $15. So I bet you can afford to send out free cards to more than 500 registrants.

NY Times on The Censored 11 (Cartoon Brew)
A discussion about eleven early WB cartoons, now censored for contemporary racist imagery... the most famous example being Bob Clampett's "Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs." Brilliant comment from Tamu, who speaks exactly as I would:

This is one of the best animated short films of its time. It also has one of the best soundtracks ever.

There is also imagery here that offends me to my core.

I am a Bob Clampett fan. I am a black woman. I cannot say that I love this so much that I am willing to dismiss the blatant racism of the piece. I also think it is a huge mistake for people to think some people will not absorb some of the racial imagery. Release it, but do it properly. Provide a social context.

Just because people love something, it doesn't mean it isn't deeply flawed. Every time I meet someone who says this is no big deal, hasn't had the "privilege" of being in my shoes for a day.

Here's some recent pictures, covering some recent life events, a maxed out Wii Message Board and the critical fail of the Metal Gear Online beta install.

Just so you lads know what you're getting into, that's what 64 ounces of Gatorade-fueled bowel irrigation fluid looks like. Rubik's Cube provided for scale. Now drink eight oz every ten to fifteen minutes until it's all gone.

Found this at the grocery store. Instant purchase.

Turned on the Wii last night to clear out some incoming mail (mostly Kart friend invites), and received a message that my Message Board had reached the data limit! I've had mine since launch, I trade a lot of photos back and forth, and I rarely delete messages, so I guess this shouldn't be surprising.

What was nice was that the Wii right away saw the SD card and began shifting several months worth of messages and pictures to the card. Now, as long as the SD card is inserted, if I roll back to November 2006, the little Message Board envelopes have a little SD icon on them. Interesting.

And while that was going on, I started downloading the Metal Gear Online beta. I splitscreened it so I could monitor the PS3 while playing Mario Kart.

What a nightmare. If you'll recall, my beta code was screwed up, so I had to contact Konami support to get it replaced. They ignored my first email, and responded to my second with a request for a scan of my screwed-up code ticket. So I didn't get my working code until April 30, which I believe was the last day to download the beta before Sony yanks it.

I started the download at 10pm. The demo took FOREVER to arrive, and then right away I had to get TWO upgrade patches, which took DOUBLE FOREVER.

During all of this, I entirely beat 50cc series.

And once the MGO upgrades were applied, I had to register for a Konami ID, followed by a separate Game ID. And the online form for this dual feat was full of weird restrictions... like this ID has to be all lower case, this password can only be numbers. Crazy.

The entire process took over three hours. By 1am, I really didn't feel like even attempting Metal Gear Online.

Fuck you too.

The beta goes away May 11, so I have ten whole days to enjoy it. Ten days during which I'd probably rather be playing GTAIV. Fantastic.

Nothing too amazing here, just a 50cc run through Coconut Mall. If you have Mario Kart Wii, this will be rather pedestrian... but if you haven't, it might show off one of the game's cool new levels. For added enjoyment, this replay features Peach on her Sugarscoot or Sweetcycle or Sweetsugar or whatever it's called.

There's Mii integration all over the Mall, both as bystanders and in store signage. Although it's naturally a bit blurry at the standard YouTube res of blocky-pixels-viewed-through-flashlight-lens. Three lucky Miis are placed in parking lot obstacles... in this case, it's my buddy Mike, Chicken Little, and my sister Marci. I don't think any of the MKWii levels let you plow through Miis like bowling pins, but that would have been awesome.

Yet another Wii game that would have benefitted from the system-level screenshot feature I keep proposing.

Incidentally, "it's a great shopping place" was the actual slogan of a nearby local mall for a time. Even had a jingle. Terrible.