We all know that 1Q is almost always a bust for gaming. The only games of note are the few that missed their holiday ship dates, for good or ill. As April begins, we're really just emerging from the first quarter coma.

The biggie is GTA IV (4/28). Huge, huge, huge. So huge that almost nothing else is shipping for the entire month. Seriously. The only company with the balls to stand toe-to-toe against Grand Theft Auto is Nintendo, with Mario Kart Wii (4/27). But given the disparate audiences there, it's hardly toe-to-toe. It's like scheduling Touched By An Angel against Smackdown.

I'm so not thrilled about two big games happening in one week. Maybe one of them will blink and either delay a week or hop up one. Nintendo has to already have the MKW boxes assembled, since that stupid wheel is in there; they could drop on the 20th. GTA IV, meanwhile, is probably still testing stuff. They're not going to press disks until the last possible moment. And even then there's going to be some awful required patch, believe it.

Wishful thinking. I'm spending $110 that week. And Clark gets a wheel.

To make matters worse, the pre-orders for Metal Gear Solid 4 should start this month. I asked about the pre-order deal at a GameStop last weekend, because I read that some stores were distributing the bonus materials early. When you pre-order, you're supposed to get the Metal Gear Saga Vol 2 DVD (I have Vol 1, I'm a fanboy!), and a pass into the beta for Metal Gear Online. Naturally, the fucking GameStop employee had no idea what I was talking about. Is it too much to hire kids who actually follow gaming? Jesus, Abercrombie & Fitch is right down the hall if you'd rather work there. I'm more or less okay with the lies and blank stares from clerks at Toys R Us and Target (overhead quote from a Target goon, when a customer asked about Wii bundles: "Well, it depends on what Nintendo wants to do, sometimes they have special bundle offers." Not since the fucking GameCube, you mean.), but the staff at GameStop ought to bloody well know about every goddamn pre-order offer available now and in the foreseeable future.

Anyway, the GameStop guy happily offered to pre-order MGS4 for me, even without knowledge of the bonus disks. Oh yeah, I'll bite on that, idiot. Shiggity-shiggity-schwa.

The next Warhawk expansion is out this month. I'm guessing that's $8 or so, which is a sum not even worth thinking about. I'm more concerned about filling up my PS3 hard drive, actually. This expansion doesn't seem as cool as the first one though. (EDIT: And with good reason, 1.3 is a FREE update!) (EDIT AGAIN: Although there is genuine $8 expansion out this month, Broken Mirror... with a new map and new vehicle. I can't keep this Warhawk junk straight.)

I think the new Eye of Judgment set was pushed into April. That's a definite.

Sony's Dual Shock 3 drops in the middle of the month, at the Let's Recoup Our Console Losses price of $55. I'm getting it, yes. It will be just in time for the multiplayer stuff in GTA IV. I've studiously avoided getting a second controller for just this purpose, so might as well suck it up and report for duty. When you come to visit, you're stuck with the shitty non-vibrating SIXAXIS, sorry.

April was when those stand-alone Rock Band guitars were supposed to show up, right? Haven't heard anything about that lately, which worries me.

So that's Month #4, although Month #5 should be mighty interesting as well... what with the WiiWare and all. I'm sure I'll grab three of those games right out of the gate. (Dr. Mario, Pokemon Ranch/Farm/Commune, and one of those third party titles.) One thing I've learned from Virtual Console and the PSN Store stuff, nothing quite beats the convenience of having a selection of games ready to go without farting with disks.

Back to the racks, I have to confess a burgeoning fascination with Boom Blox. Everything I read makes me want it.

Oh yeah, and Wii Fit. There's probably some legislation on the House floor that will require all Wii owners to buy it.

April and May, 2008. Smash Bros was the harbinger of the return of true fun.