March 2008 Archives

Tori-Emaki is one of the weird Justify-Your-Eye downloads available on the PlayStation Store. For $2, you get to aimlessly direct a flock of birds across a nifty Japanese scroll... in the sumi-e ink painting style that we all know much better from Okami.

It's actually pretty cool. The art itself is very nice, and the music and sound effects follow along with what you find as you explore.

The motion of the birds is apparently close enough to attract my cat's attention. For a while, I was worried she was going to leap up onto my TV, which would have been unacceptable.

What you're supposed to do is wave your arms in whatever direction you want the birds to fly: left, right, and up or down into the painting's depth. It doesn't really work all that well, which means you seem to spend a lot of time getting stressed out that the birds aren't maintaining the course you intended.

If you don't really care much where the birds go, as long as they go somewhere - or if you're a cat - it's definitely a pretty and different experience.

I just told Clark to flap his arms like a bird, and that worked well enough.

Coming soon: Humans.

Although I've more or less had my fill of the Zombies!!! board game franchise, there's an intriguing supplement coming out this summer. In "Humans!!!" you play as a single zombie seeking to infect the townspeople. I'm really interested to see how this integrates with the now-standard Zombies!!! formula.

One of my gaming weaknesses is when they combine multiple games into one mega-game. E.g.: UberChrononauts, the entire Knizia Lord of the Rings set, and when you arrange four separate Monopoly boards in a square. The "All Day Game" is like Valhalla to me.

Mario Kart Wii in stores the day before GTAIV.

I hate when they do that.

It's More Than A Feeling

Got back into Rock Band purchasing this week with More Than A Feeling, Truckin', and that $1 song from Paramore. More Than A Feeling was one of my absolute favorites back in the first Guitar Hero; it feels great to play it again. I wonder how close the fret tracks are between the two versions?

DC only owns half of Superman.

And the heirs of Jerry Siegel own the other half, thanks to a recent copyright court decision. This is a crazily interesting case... CBR has a fantastic summary of how this is all playing out.

Odds are, DC/Warner will settle this with a big fat check to the Siegels... and probably eventually another one for the estate of Joe Shuster. And yeah, that money is long overdue.

My son the history buff.

Interesting and unexpected; Clark happened across a young readers' National Geographic book about King Tut and has spent the entire weekend talking and asking about it. Something about the iconic death mask on the cover just grabbed him.

So we bought him some additional books about the Boy King and watched a couple YouTube movies on the topic. At this age, it's a fad a week, but even just a few days of genuine interest in the story of King Tut is fairly mind-blowing. Who knows if he'll retain any of this by the time April rolls around, but right now he can tell you all about Tutankhamun being wrapped like a mummy, buried in layers of boxes, had a broken leg, and is now in a glass case to keep him safe.

There's nothing quite like your three-year-old looking directly at you with confusion and concern in his eyes, asking "Him dead?"

Those of you on Macs or otherwise unable to get that awful bin2jpg PC program to work, try this online Brawl decrypter. Thanks to Jeffrey for finding that link!

That pic of Link sailing away might be my favorite Brawl snap yet.

For some reason, you can't rotate the camera as much when you're in Subspace Emissary mode. Similarly, I don't get why some levels are worse than others for camera positioning and zooming. You also can't zoom in when viewing trophies. (EDIT: It's the A button! And since you can't snap photos while in trophy viewing mode, no one will know how pervy you were in zooming around on Krystal's ass.)

Two of my man Snake. One unflattering, and one very flattering.

That Spear Pillar is one funky level. I love the variety of stages in Brawl... you've got straight-forward empty levels for close combat, gigantic levels for wandering, levels that attack you on their own, levels that keep moving, and weirdo stages like Spear Pillar and WarioWare.

Wario's bike is awesome. Were it not for the 'Ware, stupid fat Wario would no doubt just be a lame assist trophy like poor Waluigi.

That shot of Lucario is another favorite.

Pokemon Farm WiiWare Trailer (YouTube)
Even at $10, I'm getting this. Even not knowing what exactly is going on, I'm getting this. I just love the stylized, low-fi look to it.

Professor Layton Weekly Puzzles Already on Cartridge (Nintendo World Report)
Oh, that is such bad form, Nintendo.

Marvel Comics Superhero Mural Optical Illusion (Mighty Optical Illusions)
It looks like a Photoshop, but it's not; this 1981 mural makes it look like the Thing is bounding across an empty auditorium. That website has plenty of other forced perspective art illusions and they are all amazing to see.

Passive Aggressive Notes.com
Great website documenting "painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over." There was one about people leaving paused cook-times on office microwaves that really spoke to me.

Did Adolf Hitler draw Disney characters? (Telegraph)
There will always be something fascinating about the softer side of monsters.

Geez, so I started writing more about Mario Galaxy vs. Ratchet Future and ended up boring even myself. So you get more Brawl photos.

Tonight I ventured back into Subspace Emissary, which I finished a while ago but only to the tune of 84%. What the heck do I have to do to get the whole 100? Since I've been through most of the serious spoiler material already, I'm getting close to looking up the game's darker secrets.

The DK Final Smash photo really isn't that remarkable... except for HIS EYES.

Quick, on the left: girl or dude? Hint: His name is Isaac.

Pretty much all the characters have animated, tracking eyes, but none are quite as impressive as Toon Link's.

Lately I've been trying to get good with Lucario, since he's essentially Mewtwo Again.

I love Olimar's Final Smash. It's definitely one of the more impressive bits. Some guys get really crappy-looking Final Smashes, like Link and the Fire Emblem boys. Olimar's smash is a great ref back to Pikmin, rather than just a generic fighting-game attack.

That's actually Clark playing as Pikachu on the left hand shot. He hasn't exactly figured out that he should walk and attack simultaneously.

I really do not see any end in sight for these Smash pics. Even after this post, I have another pile ready to go... and I snapped more tonight.

Has anybody figured out how to decrypt the replay footage?

Sonic, that is not the Menacer.

After a couple good head kicks, Captain Falcon likes to boogie down with the mens at K.K.'s.

I love that contemplative Wario shot, like he's on a vision quest or something.

I call the one on the left "Hell Comes To Smashville."

The look on King Dedede's face is hilarious.

I was going for an R2-on-Dagobah thing there. Thanks to that shot, R.O.B. is now my Longest Swimmer.

So I had a crazy free lunch today, plus some, and here's the receipt as proof.

Here's what I bought: three boxes of Vanilla Yogurt Cheerios, a bag of rolls, a pack of cheese singles, and a big pitcher of Sunny D. I left the store with all of that plus an extra $1.93 in cash.

The secret is knowing that some coupons are stackable, meaning you can use multiple coupons on one item. Generally, you can only combine a manufacturer's coupon and a store-specific coupon. There's a real science to all of this, because the rules of coupon usage are dependent upon two often-opposing forces: the computer-controlled cash register system and the ability and focus of the clerk himself. Either half can reward you or screw you, however the situation rolls out. Today I had a doozy.

Follow along... the three boxes of cereal were already on a store discount (with my valued shopper card). So there's $1.50 right off the top. Then you see the rolls, cheese and drink... with only a nine cent store discount to show for it.

This operation started at the You Scan It section, so I was ostensibly in charge of all the couponing. Although the receipt re-organized it, the first coupon I scanned was the $10 store rewards offer. This one came first because I wasn't really doing any math on this, and I wanted to be sure the $10 was usable before I got to all the other coupons I had on hand. Ten bucks saved, no problem.

Then I went into my Yogurt Cheerios coupons, some being manufacturer and some from the store itself. In fact, I found an additional $1.50 coupon in the cereal aisle on that very lunch trip. The You Scan didn't like my first coupon, so I had to present that to the one human in charge of the self-serve zone. She had to force it through, and then asked me if I had any other coupons, so she could handle them all for me. I gave her every one I had, and she forced them all through. The machine even doubled my 75 cent coupon!

Total Before Savings: $17.10. Total Savings: $19.09. So I ended up owing the store negative $1.99... or rather, they owed me $1.99.

Hilariously, the system somehow charged tax on my negative $1.99... ah well, let the state have their six cents.

End result: a pair of confused cashiers handed me one dollar and ninety-three cents in change. Hey, it's what the computer told them to do. My guess is that they shouldn't have forced through quite so many coupons, although they were all legitimately for the amount and type of Cheerios I purchased. You'd think that, when presented with a negative total, they'd pause the system and make me take back a coupon or two. At no time did I raise a fuss; I rather enjoyed spectating the entire thing. At one point I even asked if it would be easier if I added something to the order so that the total would go positive again.

Oh no, thank you.

Layton is great.

Talk about a game that will kick your ass. I wasted twenty minutes on the birth-rate-of-a-mouse puzzle before I got the non-mathematical answer. Nintendo set up a bangin' Layton website, which does a great job of presenting the game's unique art style and trancelike music.

Although, they're not smart enough to make their Professor Layton Desktop Clock application a Mac widget. Come on guys... you know what I don't need? A clock as an app.

I'm a professional spectator.

As I predicted, the Smash Bros spectator mode is super amazing great. I'll watch for hours, betting on my favorites. I never bet more than 4 coins though; I'm a cheapskate. Generally, I try to only bet on team matches (since that starts you at 50/50 odds)... and I always favor characters like Ness/Lucas, Ganondorf, and Ike/Marth. The way I see it, if you're playing guys like that, you're probably good at them. If a Bonus Chance pops up, I always bet, since you can win trophies, big sticker payouts (my record is 12 or so), and triple coins.

Wouldn't it be incredible if Nintendo offered Smash Spectator Mode as a system-level downloadable Channel, even for people who didn't buy the full game? What better way to advertise it, not that it needs it. Personally, I'd adore the convenience of being able to SPECTATE! without booting a disk or leaving the Wii menu.

DC starting a new secondary Justice League team.

As Scipio rather hilariously points out, we've been through this before. But I like the key players on this new League so much (GL Hal Jordan, Green Arrow, Former Atom Ray Palmer), that I'm in all the way.

I bet Batman really hates this idea.

Guitar Hero coming to DS with funky attachment.

"A" for effort, but I'm worried about how you're expected to hold this. It seems like your left hand will end up jerking the DS around as you hit the frets while your right tries to use the touchscreen. Could end up like Metroid Hunters or any of those DS games that expect too much from your hands. Neat guitaresque implementation though. I'll need to see a songlist, because it will likely only have 15 to 20 tracks... which could totally kill it if they all suck.

Remember how I wasn't sure what final unlockable character I needed? Well, I had a clue, and then my first random online match confirmed it. That match also spoiled his Final Smash for me. So meh. I still don't know what I need to do to unlock him. And he's not a particularly original character, by the way.

My random matches went as well as everybody else's. I played two and they were both laggy at times. Looks like the ping distance is the critical factor, because all my local East Coast matches have been fine, aside from the occasional weird Wi-Fi drop.

We are such big fans of the Nintendog. Clark gets this huge smile on his face and jokes about how the puppy wants to get out of the TV.

I thought that was fun to have found a pause that made it look like a giant devil guy was sitting on the Halberd.

True story: I did not get the "Kat + Ana = katana" joke until just now, when I typed out the photo filename. And I'm like a huge WarioWare guy.

Just when I feel like complaining that there's not enough Assist Trophies and I've seen poor Samurai Goroh way too many times, Nintendo throws a new one at me. Here's Barbara from the Japan-only DS game Daigasso Band Bros (and apparently Master of Illusion, the DS game about card tricks, according to the Smash Notice screen)... and Jill from the overlooked GBA game Drill Dozer.

Are you ready for teh spoilers? Here they come...

I was moderately surprised to see Jigglypuff survive the cut from Melee (especially since Mewtwo was downcloned into Lucario), since he's no longer the Generation One fad character he used to be.

I was very happy - and genuinely unspoiled - to find Toon Link. It's great to see Nintendo honor the awesomeness of Wind Waker (and the memory of Melee's Young Link), with the cel-shaded Link, although "Toon Link" is such a painfully awful name. I have always hated the usage of the word "toon," because it was never a real moniker; it was manufactured for public consumption by Who Framed Roger Rabbit. (And don't think I'm crazy, Wikipedia backs me up on this.) So it really grates me to hear the announcer intone "TOON Link." I'm not sure why he couldn't have been just another "Link," but Nintendo could have gone with "Cel Link," "Wind Waker Link" or anything rather than pretending that "toon" is something real.

Still, great screen, right?

Defend Your Castle WiiWare Trailer (YouTube)
I'm going to revise my opinion on this from awesome to really awesome. It is so great to see this kind of thing heading to Wii.

MIT's Jenkins On Gamers, Youth Culture (GameSetWatch)
Great synopsis of MIT professor Henry Jenkin's SXSW keynote, where he offered an optimistic view of American youth... covering gaming, fan fiction and web communities. For example:

"..this is what I found looking at fans as a population. A high number of them are pink collar workers. Their jobs require a high amount of education, but their actual work uses only a small part of what they can do. And so most of their intellectually rewarding experience takes place outside of work. Why are those skills so underutilized in the workplaces we've constructed?"

That gets me right here.

Rock Band Gets In-Game Music Store (Kotaku)
Awesome Rock Band update; obviously they're just as annoyed with the PlayStation Store as the rest of us. This really underlines Harmonix's dedication to DLC, while Activision is farting around with Aerosmith.

Financial Times: iTunes All-You-Can-Eat Music Downloads Coming (Gizmodo)
Call me when this subscription plan also includes all the movies and TV shows.

How Leander Kahney Got Everything Wrong by Being an Irredeemable Jackass (Daring Fireball)
John Gruber tears apart a Wired article on Apple. Sure, you're missing a lot of context, but it's still funny.

Toon Zone Interviews Steve Purcell About "Sam & Max the Animated Series" (Toon Zone)
I don't get the running joke needling Purcell about "what IS Max?" He's a rabbit. He has ears like a rabbit. He has a tail like a rabbit. He's white, a common rabbit color. He is a rabbit.

Today was Free Rita's Ice Day 'round this part of the world, although Josh and I did not have the time today to run out for some during the workday. For the third year running, Tony was not present for Free Rita's Day (even though we didn't go anyway), which stretches the bounds of coincidence. Although this year he has the best excuse ever.

So suckadick Josh, 'cause Family Fourhman went out after work.

As you can tell by the cup, it's a pretty generous freebie. Rhon and I each got the new Birthday Cake flavor - which was great. Clark wanted chocolate, which I will not capitalize. Their chocolate is that weird, fake tasting chocolate, so it's not a favorite of mine.

Of note: it was 45 degrees, and we had to wait in line (outside) for about fifteen minutes. For frozen ice food. The Birthday Cake was totally worth it.

Then we went to Wal-Mart. We're not proud of this, but we do have to do it occasionally. Will somebody get on the phone and tell Nintendo that Wal-Mart isn't exactly the right place to go to the trouble of setting up a fancy-pants Professor Layton display.

I mean, come on. The closest that the average Wal-Mart shopper gets to a brain teaser is telling the difference between D and R on the gearshift. I'm sure it doesn't help that Wal-Mart has Layton for $5 more than it should be... $34.95. Being able to tell the cost differential between $35 and $30 is like breaking sticks for highly intelligent Layton-heads such as myself.

Here's Wal-Mart's big benefit... they get new toy lines in stock before everybody else. Like that ridiculous Fin Fang Foom.

Damn, he is so freakin' great.

So Reggie claims that Nintendo has a major game coming for holiday '08, and that "gamers will be pleased." What's it gonna be, Fils-Aime?

This is a great time to tease the gaming public, since there's a hotly debated Question Mark on what new games are coming for Wii, given that we already have a Mario, a Zelda, a Smash Bros, and next month, a Mario Kart. I mean, that's it, right? This is the tactic that the Nintendo Secret Haters like to employ... acknowledge the handful of high-quality games but focus on the lack of new IP and erroneous idea that Nintendo has nothing left to produce.

Of course, the honest answer is that Nintendo will simply make another Mario and another Zelda. The N64 had two Zelda games. The GameCube had two Metroids and two Starfox games. Getting Twilight Princess and Mario Galaxy so early in the Wii's lifecycle almost guarantees we'll see at least another Zelda... in fact, I think Nintendo has already dropped hints to that effect. Mario is more ticklish; dude's in a hundred other games each year and no matter how distinctive they are, Nintendo still catches flak for whoring Jumpman year in and year out. Still, Galaxy sold so well, and Mario appeals so dearly to that audience, that Nintendo would be crazy not to pencil in another core Mario game for 2009 or early 2010. Maybe we'll get a true sequel to Sunshine! I seem to recall the Sunshine team talking about how they would like to explore other domains of the Mario Universe - like ice or forest or factory - since Sunshine was so clearly about a tropical venue. Mmmm, I do so love that word explore. Wishful thinking, sorry.

If you look at Nintendo's top selling video games, you see variations of the Mario / Zelda / Kart / Smash quadrangle over and over again. That's your Top Tier games and there's no way we're getting any more of those for this holiday season (unless that secret Zelda game is farther along than anyone can guess). If it's something Reggie says will excite us, it almost has to be a known property... because heaven knows gamers could give two shits about new IP, despite pitching fit after fit about Nintendo not having any. Sales prove this over and over again. So what's left beyond those four franchises - the Middle Tier and Low Tier properties - and what are the most suspect titles to warrant a huge holiday release?

Metroid. The Metroid franchise is Middle Tier at best, but only because Nintendo wishes it so. Metroid Prime 2 and 3 sold like dead dogs in August. Smash Brawl sold more copies in one week than Metroid 3 has sold to date. Metroid Hunters and Metroid Pinball can't even make the One Million Sold list on the DS, a system that is issued at birth to all children everywhere. Let's face it: nobody likes Metroid. Nintendo tried to make people care about the franchise, and failed. It was nine years between Super Metroid and Metroid Prime... and it will be another nine before Nintendo decides to give it another go.

Holiday 2008 prospects: forget it. Forget it forever.

Kirby. Reliable Middle Tier performer. Just about every Kirby game (that isn't a puzzle game) sells a million, regardless of system... which isn't much compared to Mario or Pokemon, but it's at least dependable money and, apparently, immune to the whims of time. Currently, a Kirby Wii game is slated for sometime in 2008... could it be the mysterious holiday title? I doubt it. Despite an increased Kirby Universe presence in Smash Brawl, the series is not the kind of thing that gamers flock to. It would be a pretty dirty trick to hype up Thanksgiving '08 and then give us Kirby.

Holiday 2008 prospects: possible, but Kirby is just not marquee material.

Pokemon. On consoles, Pokemon is a desperately Low Tier property muscled into Middle Tier simply by association with the Top Tier handheld originals. We already have one Pokemon game for Wii, and it was the usual crapped together battle simulator. It would genuinely be a HUGE DEAL if Nintendo slipped a genuine Pokemon RPG into the Wii's holiday lineup. And not a faux RPG like Colosseum and Gale of Darkness. A real one. The trouble with Pokemon is that it is so divisive. Imagine the internet's hoots of laughter once Pokemon MMORPG Wii is announced as the system's big holiday saviour. Of course, Nintendo is rightly proud of the Pokemon success story, so much that Reggie pimps it as proof that their online strategy isn't built on twigs and stunted by fear. So I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility.

Holiday 2008 prospects: 50/50, but hampered by its own reputation and Nintendo's unwillingness to make a console game as good as a handheld game.

Starfox. Just barely Middle Tier; the Prodigal Son that can't wait to leave again. Always showing up with new games that we all hope are great but somehow are not. A good, new Starfox game would indeed be brilliant, but Nintendo has cried Wolf too many times. Every new Starfox is initially reported as just as great as Starfox 64, and then they all show up weird and screwed over.

Holiday 2008 prospects: sure, but who's going to believe it?

Animal Crossing. Ah, now this could be the one. Nintendo has had a cloak on this for years now; we really have no idea what AC Wii will be like, except that it can post to your Wii Message Board. One thing in AC's benefit: it doesn't have the track record of failure like Starfox, Metroid or console Pokemon. If Nintendo comes to the table with a substantially reworked game, full of online surprises and heretofore unimagined play (I'm thinking a stellar combination of Home, Harvest Moon, Virtual Console, and Second Life), it could be a breakthrough.

Holiday 2008 prospects: very, very possible.

Mario Party. This is Middle Tier only due to sales. Although any given Party is almost always a good game, the yearly updates have become an industry joke. Nintendo would have to be completely out of touch to declare Mario Party 9 the Big One. Even if it has online play.

Holiday 2008 prospects: not Reggie's mystery game, but certainly coming anyway.

Paper Mario. Like Starfox, Paper Mario has lost some shine lately... Super Paper Mario just was not as good, and it really wasn't intended to be the "Paper Mario" for the Wii anyway. Although I hope we get a core Mario RPG for Wii, it's too soon after Super to expect one for Christmas '08 and be excited about it.

Holiday 2008 prospects: nope, too soon.

Wii. And let's not forget Nintendo's newest successful franchise, the Wii series: Sports, Play and - almost certainly - Fit. We know Wii Music is coming; a second Wii Sports seems inevitable. Nintendo assuredly has other Wii X titles in development... could one of them be the showstopper? Nintendo does so like the surprise.

Holiday 2008 prospects: likely, but who knows what it will be.

Mario Sports. Subtracting Kart, it's kind of a mixed bag. Between Golf, Tennis, Baseball and Strikers, you've got four reasonably good titles that probably just ought to be combined into one incredible mega-game, a la Wii Sports. A gestalt Mario Sports game might actually be huge enough to be Reggie's Holiday 2008 Hit, but it's not in Nintendo's DNA to put four potential sellers into one package. (And anyway, Strikers is already on Wii, and a new Baseball has been announced.) On their own, they just don't have the hype force to move the needle this fall.

Holiday 2008 prospects: just like the Party, they will merely be present.

Donkey Kong. An ape without a Country, literally. Should Nintendo revert back to the Rare years of platforming and collectaquesting? Should Nintendo continue the arc of bongo peripherals? Should Nintendo settle on lackluster photocopies of Mario games (Diddy Kong Racing, Barrel Blast)? Should Nintendo try to make DK the king of retro-styled games and puzzle games, like his latest GBA and DS roles? All we know for certain is that, aside from being a tank in Smash Bros, nobody really gives a shit.

Holiday 2008 prospects: no.

Yoshi. Another lost hero. Although fondly remembered from the SNES era, Yoshi really hasn't done much on his own since. His big problem is common perception: that he takes a gay series (Mario) and makes it gayer. Nintendo is not going to stake 2008 on him.

Holiday 2008 prospects: nuh-uh.

Wario. Warioworld was a forgotten Gamecube game, the character's Game Boy heyday is well behind him, and Nintendo has actually kind of nailed WarioWare into the ground with at least two too many releases. Smooth Moves, as an early Wii title, was good enough but made a bunch of really stupid mistakes. Sure, a better WarioWare title would be great, but at this point it's hardly fap material.

Holiday 2008 prospects: sorry.

EarthBound. What makes this possible is Reggie's hint that gamers will like the Holiday 2008 schedule. This would be a total fanboy move, and Nintendo can always benefit from that. But is it enough to sustain Black Friday sales? No way.

Holiday 2008 prospects: EarthBound fans are well accustomed to silence.

Pikmin. I guess the second Pikmin's crappy sales scuttled this franchise's future. Anybody who played either game totally wants a Wii version, but there's just not enough voices there. Like most of these Lower Tier games, Pikmin does not have the wow factor that Reggie needs for a big holiday release. And you can apply that to F-Zero, Chibi-Robo, Kid Icarus, Custom Robo, Clu-Clu Land, Ice Climber, Geist, Brain Age, and whatever other first party stuff I have overlooked.

Holiday 2008 prospects: nope.

What Nintendo does best is surprise us. When we're talking about Game Boy Advance 2, they toss out a dual-screened gizmo with stylus controls. When we're expecting a next-gen Mario game for launch, they show up with Luigi's Mansion. When we want games to get slicker and more complicated and more adult, they bring out a standard-def system with channel-changer controls and a bowling game. When we're planning on their demise, they sell in the millions.

So naturally Reggie's surprise holiday game could be something totally new... but maybe something that leverages their properties in a new way, similar to Smash Bros. Maybe a Mario Party/Kart that covers all their gameworlds, instead of just the Mario family. Maybe it's a new peripheral. Maybe they're buying Sega and making a good Sonic game. Maybe it's a second SKU, an HD Wii console. Maybe it's integration with iTunes and Apple TV. Maybe it's GTAIV.

Or maybe it's just a really awesome Animal Crossing. I'll take that.

Pokemon toys have always had kind of a rough road. It's easy enough to mass-produce stuffed beanies of Pikachu, but the plastic toy offerings have always been weak. Initially, you had great piles of non-posable PVC figures... which allowed a great diversity of characters to be produced but were never very inspiring to collect. They played with various forms of genuine action figures, but the necessity of attack features meant lots of characters with oddly-positioned levers and buttons and spring-loaded projectiles.

Last year, as part of the huge Diamond/Pearl push, the Jakks toy company seemed to leapfrog backwards right into boring old PVC figures again. Albeit with much nicer sculpting than in 1999. Happily, those immovable little statues have morphed to include some clever action features... the Battle Bases sets lets you keep the clean sculpts of good PVC work but does not lose the physical fun of the action figure lines.

The stroke of brilliance here was to load the spring-loaded silliness into the bases, not into the figure. So the Chimchar set comes with an appropriately skinny and small-bodied Chimchar... who stands atop a plastic volcano platform that will launch him into the air at the touch of a button. If they had tried to incorporate a jumping feature into Chimchar, he would have necessarily been weirdly-formed and out-of-scale with other figures.

The further brilliant bit was to give each base the cut of a puzzle piece, so you can attach all the bases together to create your own giant playset. Each set comes with two smaller puzzle pieces, intended to form paths between bases. As a fan, I appreciate that Jakks gave each path piece element-appropriate sculpting. You get water pieces with Piplup and grass pieces with Turtwig. They could have easily cheaped out and made one set of connectors and just shoved them into each package.

Clark enjoys making one long, random path out of all the puzzle pieces.

We picked up most of Series 1 during Target's Pokemon sale (which continues through the end of March, I believe). Series 1 Battle Base sets are normally $10, which is actually a bit on the pricy side. Target's sale puts them at $5, which is fantastic. We got Pikachu, Turtwig, Piplup, Chimchar, Weavile and Buneary. The only other Series 1 sets are Cranidos and Bidoof. In my experience, those last four did not ship at the same time or in the same numbers as Pika and the three D/P starters, so they seem to be harder to find.

The Series 2 set has Sudowoodo, Starly, Ponyta and Misdreavus. I may have to get the Misdreavus set even if we can't find it on sale, because Misdreavus is that awesome.

But while we could not find Series 2 in stock, Target did have the Battle Link 2-Packs... where you get two pokemon and a single, smaller battle base. Target currently has these marked down to $12 from the original price of $15, which is nowhere near as cool as the $5 Battle Base price. We'll probably pick up the Lucario/Croagunk set, but this line also has a Buizel/Mantyke pack and the obligatory Pikachu/Raichu set. There is another subset of Battle Links, slightly cheaper with only one pokemon per pack and an even smaller base, no larger than one of the connector puzzle pieces.

Out of the Battle Base sets we have so far, Weavile is far and away our favorite.

The Weavile figure - again, wonderfully sculpted as skinny and top-heavy - stands on a little ice chunk. The ice bit gets plugged into the base and then you position a convincingly translucent ice cage on top of Weavile. When you press the button in the back, Weavile is launched, smashing through the cage. Very cool.

Interesting toy design trivia: the bases that are designed to seriously launch something (Weavile, Pikachu and Turtwig... Chimchar's base is not spring-loaded) have a failsafe switch on the bottom that means the button will not depress unless the base is flat on the floor. So you can't hold the launching base up at someone's face and erupt a Pikachu at them. At least, not without knowing about the secret safety switch and holding it in yourself.

Between the action bases and the connector pieces, there's a lot for Clark to do with these toys. It is also nice that the bases are largely figure-agnostic... so Clark can put his Super Hero Squad Wolverine on Chimchar's volcano base and toss Wolvie skyward.

My biggest complaint about the line is that, even though they can make the figures as close as possible to the source material, there are still examples of characters being made out of scale, just so they can all use roughly the same amount of plastic. Poor Piplup is freakin' huge (and also suffers from being permanently attached to his launcher mechanism, making Piplup the only figure I've found that breaks the clean lines rule), and some of the single-pack Battle Links are really sized off. Empoleon and Torterra, most notably, are no larger than a Buneary.

But overall, it's a very smart decision for a Pokemon toy line. You get battle action, good character representation, and a constructibility element. If these had debuted just a few dollars cheaper, I'd be more inclined to collect 'em all.

Remember that mysterious pile of 1998 Pokemon starters? This time I price-scanned one of them...

Original price. $10, ten years later. And this was at a different Target, by the way. Pretty unbelievable.

Pokemon Battle Bases on sale at Target.

Until the end of the month, the $10 Pokemon Battle Bases playsets are reduced to $5. These are the best Pokemon toys in probably forever. I'm going to do a long-winded dissection about why these are so great later in the week.

We're the reason why your Target has no Morningstar products.

Speaking of Target, we did a number on their Morningstar Foods supply this week. The various Morningstar meatless freezer food stuff (soy versions of bacon, burgers, sausage, corn dog, etc) ranges from $2.99 to $3.29. Rhonda found an online coupon for $2 off of any one box, with no limit on how many you can use. So we used 36 of them, for a total savings of $72.

I bought Professor Layton.

It's the art direction that sold me. Particularly the subdued, controlled color palette. The opening movie is really cool, and the game has a surprising amount of voice work (ruined, unfortunately, with forced subtitles).

Fin Fang Foom is Marvel's least responsibly licensed character.

Really. For what possible reason does a goofball throw-away from Marvel's hedge-our-bets monster days keep getting toys year after year? He was part of the Iron Man dragons line, made into a gigantic HeroClix figure, showed up as an expensive mini-bust, and now is the latest upsized entry in the Super Hero Squad line.

Which we're soooo getting, by the way. Super cute.

Checking out the upcoming Squad releases, I've also noticed a definite departure from the Spider-Man Movie versioned characters. The new Spidey packs have black costume linework, rather than the theatrical silver piping. Also, a classically-styled Doc Ock!

When for Katamari?

I am shocked that there has been no news of sideways ports of the 360's Beautiful Katamari to PS3 and/or Wii. This is a textbook example of how to kill your franchise... sign exclusivity deals for the one console with absolutely no chance of selling your game.

Egg Hunt weekend.

Clark participated in two egg hunts this weekend. This morning was a "real" mass hunt, with a hundred kids in a field with a thousand plastic eggs. Yesterday was the weird one; we went to a Toys R Us egg event, which involved standing in line at a card table while an employee handed you a single egg. Awesome. Clark kept asking "Why are we inside? Eggs outside."

I think I only have one more character to unlock, and I honestly do not know who it is or how to unlock it. I have an idea... based on some unsubtle hints heard in one of the gaming podcasts I follow. I did a really great job of avoiding Brawl spoilers.

I personally expected just about everybody from Melee to show up in Brawl, so I don't really consider guys like Falco to be meaningful spoiler material. Out of all the folks I've unlocked (and you get quite a few for completing Subspace Emissary), two were complete surprises, and that was cool.

As I post more of these photo entries, I'll gradually reveal all the spoiler characters, so watch out.

It seems odd to us Americans, but Sonic is only five years older than Charizard. And he can't breathe fire. Weird!

Ash - come on, let's just call him Ash - can't bear to see his little buddy about to asplode on a bob-omb.

That delicate-looking Metal Gear is from MGS4. Pretty cool that Kojima allowed Nintendo to use elements from a game that isn't even out yet.

Ready? O! K! Samus Sister Cheerleaders are go!

The only problem I have with the camera itself is that you can't zoom all the way in. I would like to get microscopic on these guys. It's weirdly situational... for example, on the Halberd stage, you're even more restricted.

Tingle would have been a great playable character. I hope they're working on that for Super Smash Bros Donnybrook, due in 2015 for the Nintendo Woo.

Sausages! I'm a big Mr. Game & Watch fan, although I rarely win with him because I get distracted just watching him animate.

GUMBY BANGING HORSES (YouTube)
OK, this is so full of swearing that you're going to want to close the door or something. Kinda wears out its welcome halfway through, but the first part is great.

SECRET SKIN: An essay in unitard theory. (The New Yorker)
Author Michael Chabon's fantastic dissection of the improbabilities and portents of the super-hero costume.

Donkey Kong and Me (DadHacker)
Fascinating weblog entry from the guy who programmed the Atari version of Donkey Kong. Full of lots of crazy revelations, but perhaps the craziest is that Atari usually licensed the game without bothering to get resources and assets from the original creators. So this poor guy had to re-create Donkey Kong by himself, with no help from Nintendo. Amazing.

...He sure as hell is angry, but he does have moves. (Mike Sterling's Progressive Ruin)
Weird as balls. The June 1988 issue of The Question contains a mega-blatant plug to DC's then-current, now-classic Watchmen series. Naturally, the Question finds himself drawn to Rorschach... since Rorshach was himself drawn in homage to the Question.

New York Gov. Spitzer resigns but more woes likely (Yahoo News)
Never let it be said that I give the Dems a pass on this kind of crap, even though it always seems like it's priests and the GOP doing it. Spitzer was one of the shitheads railing about the immorality of Grand Theft Auto, all the while he's funneling money up hookers. Just another crusading asshole who sits in judgement of all else while he commits the very same acts he condemns.

A few summers back, on the way back from Origins, Mike and I had this great conversation about our individual attitudes towards gaming. Tabletop, board, card and video games. It was a very long car ride. To re-create that discussion, I asked Mike to join me in a navel-gazing re-examination of that for fourhman.com. Our talk - carried out through an equally long series of emails - will cover all types of gaming, as we discuss what kinds of games we prefer and how we got that way. Expect lots of name-dropping, old war stories, and cynical judgments on the world in general.

JOE: Obviously you and I have played a ton of games together over the years, and, having been gamers before we met (which is coming up on fifteen years ago!), we ought to have smashingly good ideas of what kinds of games we prefer. I think I can outline my needs for tabletop/board/card games at the cellular level: I like lots of little pieces, I like heavy customization within the given ruleset, and I like the game to tell a story. If a game can hit all three of those, it's probably something I'm going to adore. Of course, that's in addition to the overarching concern that the game ought to be fun, balanced and challenging.

MIKE: I would have to say the types of games I most enjoy are both simple and complex at the same time. Traditional games like chess, Othello, backgammon, Scrabble, poker, bridge (it's hilarious finding anybody at all under the age of pensioner status who will play, let alone know the rules to, bridge) are quite simple to pick up and play, with a very small investment in energy. There are no six page rulebooks, T-chart algorithms or wordy directions. Chess has only six types moving pieces per side. Both chess and Othello have only 64 squares. Your home in backgammon will always be your home. Bridge openings usually have at least twelve points, probably thirteen. Those blanks are gold in Scrabble. Easy enough. But scratch underneath the surface and each of those games can become remarkably complex; after only five moves for each person there are over a trillion different board combinations possible. Othello is not so complex, but it is a game that requires patience and attention. Backgammon and poker are all probability and odds, which I love. (Math is your friend kids!) And Scrabble is less a word game and more of an odds and math game, which plays to my strengths.

However, if you discount my strengths, I find that in playing all of those games there is only a small amount of luck involved. Chess is my favorite because there is absolutely no luck involved at all. In Othello and chess you all get the same pieces and if you lose, you deserved it. That's great. Backgammon, Scrabble and cards have some luck, but not as much as you might expect. In the short term there are fluctuations, but in the long run the results hold pretty consistently. In addition, no matter what the outcome, I always feel like I learned something when playing those games - looking for patterns, connections in cause and effect, and improving my ability at reading odds. So I guess I should also throw that learning piece in there as well.

JOE: See, right away we're headed in different directions, since I almost never desire to play those traditional games. I didn't learn the poker hand ranks until I started playing Doomtown.

Not to dis backgammon and the like, but I just can't get into the abstract nature of those classic games. I feel like I'm not doing enough, or I'm not getting enough visual stimulus. And that abstractiness is built into those games. I don't think you could make Justice League Backgammon and I'd be convinced... it's still a math thing and the only point to winning is winning itself. For me, the fun is in re-creating some little pocket tabletop universe and directing it towards some logically-stipulated conclusion. As in, I chucked The One Ring into Mount Doom, or I ended the day with the most control of Gomorra, or I defeated the Boss Ghost and escaped the Lost Village. I guess I'm looking for the drama of it all, and if the game lacks that theming, I'm likely to give it a pass.

Out of the games you listed, chess is the one I would be most likely to play (lots of pieces, an obvious war story, a dramatic finish) but even that drains me before too long. It's just not enough for me. The only chess I played to any extent was Battle Chess on my Apple //c... and I have almost purchased Knightmare Chess several times... which is just a deck of cards that you add to a regular chess game to give the pieces special powers and whatnot. Or did I actually buy that? I forget.

Now, I did give Icehouse the old college try (probably a $60+ college try), and it just didn't work for me. I liked the overall concept - generic playing pieces usable in multitudes of free games - but the critical failure was when I tried to play games that applied dramatic rulesets to those abstract pieces. The disconnect was painful. I would probably really like RAMbots and Homeworlds, but when applied to those faceless, interchangeable pyramids, I found I couldn't keep my focus. In contrast, I liked multiplayer IceTowers and Volcano, but as abstract stacking games, they're not the kind of experiences I would go to.

I have found my limits, though. For as much as I like tabletop-based worlds and dramatic player-directed stories, I just can't do miniatures games. I tried, seriously tried, with Great Rail Wars... but the rules were just too floaty. Somebody knocks over a mini and there's a fifteen minute fight while everyone agrees how it should be stood back up. I gave MageKnight and HeroClix a fair shot, but grew quickly frustrated with the absurdly complicated color chart system. The only game of this type that has passed my muster is Pirates, mainly because the little ships are both cool-looking and inexpensive. But I still hate the ruler-based movement and combat range... it's just too easy to fudge, and even the teenciest fudging can swing the victory. I need the rules to be exact, explicit and all-encompassing.

MIKE: Part of my problem with elaborate games is that I believe you really don't need all that much stuff to make a truly engaging and interesting experience. While I know you have a huge jones for games with hundreds of miniature spiders, penguin tokens and graham crackers, all that crap just makes my interest level wane since it's just so much more stuff to wade through. Really, so many times I just want to pick up a game and play and figure stuff out as I go along. Often, but not always, having all those tokens just means more screwing around with rule clarifications. Did that miniature just topple onto its side? How many points do I have to spend to align my army soldier to magnetic north? What if the I don't have the lucky carrot to win that fucking insanely hideous, worse than Hack-N-Slash, full of lameass insider jokes, Killer Bunnies? What a pile of putridness that was.

To be continued...

I am going to take so many pictures in Smash Brawl. I loved the feature back in Melee, but of course there we had no place to save the photos. Brawl lets you save them to an SD card.

Happily, the internet has already figured out how to convert the saved photos into a usable format. This awful little Windows utility does the job, with all of the usual Olde World Windows mess. IE, no GUI, horrid meaningless filenames, and extraneous file litter. But anyway, it works, and here's some of the many many photos I've taken. Click for a supersized version.

There might be some spoilers, incidentally.

During the big open movie, which does feature Luigi, Clark always asks "Where's Luigi?" Well, here's Luigi, about to get whacked in the sacks by Falco.

And Pikachu provides neatly fried bananas!

Why is it that Smash Brawl is a better console Pokemon game than the last five console Pokemon games?

The mix of characters makes Subspace Emissary a joy. Shame Meta Ridley isn't playable.

Peach's Final Smash turns everyone to sleep.

I'm not sure if that pic shows Peach about to smack two guys around, or if the Fire Emblem dude is going to strangle her. She looks confident, anyway.

Although I wish Waluigi was playable (is there anybody I wouldn't want playable?), it's fun to see him beat the stuffing out of somebody with a tennis racket.

Other Brawl items of note: It took me 8.5 hours to beat Subspace Emissary. Holy crap, I've played games where 8.5 hours was enough time to play an entire game, much less just a sidebar to the game's main attraction.

Spectator Mode is just as awesome as I hoped, even more so due to the ability to collect coins and stickers just for watching and wagering. (There's no "gambling" qualifier on the ESRB rating! Don't tell anybody.)

The Masterpieces dealie for demos of old NES/SNES/N64 games is pretty cool, although some of the demo time constraints are weirdly strict. How much can you learn about Donkey Kong in 30 seconds? I wonder if there's a way to extend that demo time.

Online match data doesn't seem to show up in your stats. I hope that data is being collected somewhere, because, as a stats freak, it really bugs me to see the data page say that Falco has never been played, even though I just took him through ten online brawls.

Game-specific Wii Channels are a fantastic idea.

I don't know why I didn't hear about this before, but this is one of those ideas that proves out the age-old theory that Nintendo never gives you what you want, but instead gives you awesome stuff you didn't expect. Mario Kart Wii, for example, will create its own Channel that lets you check rankings and junk regardless of whether you're playing the game or even if the game is in the tray. Incredibly cool. Now the question is, will Nintendo allow you to download these Channels even if you didn't buy the game... because A) it would be great advertising for those on the fence about a purchase, and B) I know I'd pay a nominal fee for certain game-specific Channels even if I NEVER bought the actual game.

Ziff-Davis has gone Chapter 11.

Guess that's as good as reason as any not to renew my EGM subscription.

I miss the Looney Labs weekly updates.

I used to always check the Looney Labs website every Thursday, because that was generally when the gang would post an update. Some months back, Andrew Looney announced he was only going to update every other week. Now I only check rarely, because I can't keep track of whether this is an update week or not. I wish he would treat it like a weblog and update it nearly every day, just with general life stuff as well as game design news.

More reasons to play R&CF.

About halfway through the second playthrough (which goes much faster, by the way), you'll have more money/raritanium than you'll ever need. In addition to the LX upgradeable Omega weapons, you can also get the RYNO IV (and eventually, the infinite RYNO IV). But the coolest new weapon is the Golden Groovitron, which gives you infinite Groovitron ammo... and makes it much easier to accomplish the Everybody Dance Now skill point, where you have to get every character in the game to dance.

Gonna be a while before I get to Zack & Wiki.

Yeah, Zack & Wiki will likely be a great buy at $15, but I won't be sure about that for quite some time. Brawl is unlikely to leave the Wii anytime soon. I've already unlocked two more fighters, played a bunch of online games with Josh, and been through 25% of Subspace Emissary mode (which is GREAT). I also adore the new hint-based Challenge grid for revealing secret unlockables, the ability to turn off the tap-up jump (always hated that), the amazingly fun Spectator Mode (I only place bets when there's a 50/50 shot), the hilariously participatory WarioWare board, and the warm snuggly feeling I get whenever I hear the Pokemon Trainer shout commands from the background. Smash Brawl is THE Wii game.

This weekend has been crazy.

Friday night I was working on some website stuff. I've come to the conclusion that the Shoutbox has to go. I'm tired of good, discussionable comments getting wasted in the Shoutbox, rather than living on the entry page of the weblog post to which they are relevant. I don't want to argue about Mario v. Ratchet inside a two inch box. Something like that deserves paragraph after paragraph. (And actually Tony, that would be a SWEET podcast episode. We need to figure that out.)

I was working on getting Movable Type to pull out the last X comments, for a sidebar display... so anyone who comments would still get a front page link and momentary shining stardom. I finished the code on it, but I'm still not sure I like it.

Anyway, I was deep inside MT on that and some other stuff, so I triggered a full site rebuild. Which failed after about five minutes (I think it takes fourhman.com about ten or fifteen to complete a top-to-bottom rebuild). Failed rebuilds are a very scary thing, although less so since I switched to MySQL about a year ago.

I shortly realized that the entire fourhman.com domain was gone, so the flying fickle finger of fate pointed directly at Dreamhost. You know how when your power goes out for days and then all the TV stations fly into Power Crisis Emergency 2000 mode with hotlines and shelter info and whatever, only you can't get any of that because your fucking power is out? Well, when a web company goes down, the only thing they can do is hire another webco to host their emergency info page, so they can communicate with their million customers who now not only have dead websites, but also no email. Dreamhost does that right here.

Which is where I saw that, yes, indeed, all of Dreamhost was knackered. It's actually a rather amusing post:

Check out those nutty verb tenses. Perhaps foolishly, Dreamhost allows unfiltered commenting, which makes for some pretty hilarious ANGRY INTARNETS PEOPLE all over that page. fourhman.com is not my livelihood, so I tend to not care as much when Dreamhost goes belly-up. Usually it's just one server that flips, but in this case, the whole Dreamhost universe went south.

Funny sidebar: During all of that, I received a phone message from Josh, but I couldn't listen to it due to bad local reception. So, concerned that it might be about work but not THAT concerned, I sent him an IM to that effect. Then I walked down the hall to go to bed.

Two-thirds of the way there, I remembered that Josh's away message mentioned that he was at Caleb's... who happens to work for Gamestop. I ran back to the iMac and added this to my one-sided conversation with Josh: "You fucker. Caleb has it already, doesn't he." Several hours later, I received a phonecam pic of Caleb holding his copy of Smash Brawl and giving me the finger.

Anyway, fourhman.com was back within an hour or so. But that adventure is nothing compared to tonight's horror.

The setup: all week, the house has been just shy of floating away. This week we had some rather warm temps, so the ground all un-froze. Then we had a string of on-again, off-again showers, some days pretty serious stuff. So it's been water water everywhere. And we're new construction, so that means the ground isn't quite natural yet... we have puddles of standing water all over the yard, and we're still plugging various minor basement leaks. Our sump pump has been running about every two minutes for the last five days, belching water from our underground stream out towards the runoff ditch next door. This spring thaw is not all it's cracked up to be. In case you've been wondering what the webcam has been pointed at all week, that's the answer. It's me checking the sump area from work, to make sure there's no overflow or pipe leaks.

The day started out easily enough. We go to get our taxes done, Tony texts me that his wife is having a baby, we pull off some masterful cost-savings at CVS, Target and Wegman's.

Then about 6:15pm tonight, the power goes out. It was funny because Clark had just been flipping lights on and off in his toy room, because he has a bunch of action figures with light-up features. So he turns the lights off, then on... then the whole house goes dark.

Knowing how fast our sump pump reservoir fills up, I dash to the basement. It is already well over the floating bobber that triggers the pump to activate, but still eight inches from the top. Pretty much okay. Basic science says that at some point, you're going to hit an equilibrium with the ground water level, and that's where the water will stop flowing in. Looks like we're there.

Except that I check in again an hour later (AN HOUR? Jesus, how can power be out THIS LONG, I naively complain), and the water level has risen slightly. I bail out a couple gallons, and the reservoir fills right back up. I pretend I have some kind of innate intelligence for this kind of thing and estimate that the sump pit is going to overflow in four or five hours.

So I call around for help and advice. We try a mouth-to-hose siphon, which was awful and ineffective. I bail another couple dozen gallons, to no change. I briefly consider running out to Wal-Mart to buy a generator, just to get the sump pump back in order. I keep checking the pit every few minutes; and each time I head down the steps, I instinctually go for the light switch like an idiot. By 10:00pm, almost four hours after the power went out, I have resigned myself to the ultimate fallback plan: play DS for an hour, and then if the power hasn't come back, start moving shit out of the basement.

I settle in on the couch and open my DS card carrier. Just as I'm deciding to play that dopey Nodame Cantable DS game I imported along with Ouendan 2, the fucking vibrating chair cushion leaps on to full force, servos humming furiously and soothing forest noises erupting at top volume. The power is back.

Whenever you see those stupid either/or quizzes, where you're supposed to say choose whether you could live without running water or electricity, or between your left arm or electricity, or whatever, the answer is I need goddamn electricity, every time.

And yes, this whole night, I've been thinking "This better not screw up Smash Brawl tomorrow."

The Mesopotamians - They Might Be Giants (YouTube)
Awesome.

Defend Your Castle
This upcoming WiiWare looks absolutely coolass. It's awesome to see the Wii finally delivering slick, high-quality, modern downloadable games. Finally, competition for PixelJunk Monsters and Locoroco Cocorecho.

A World of Tears (Re-Imagineering)
Although Re-Imagineering does err on the foaming rage side as part of their mission statement, I do agree that the upcoming USA USA USA addition to Small World is completely tacky and ill-thought out. Also, don't miss One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing!, where Re-Imagineering hilariously points out the sad copy/paste "storylines" menacing every corner of Disney World.

SO, DOES VETERANS DAY HAVE A FUCKING APOSTROPHE OR WHAT? (The Black Table)
I just loved the article's headline.

25 native iPhone apps we hope to see (Macworld)
Number One is my Number One: iChat/AIM (although to be fair, they have a choice 0, inexplicably). The article repeats the big unhappy reason why this hasn't happened yet: AT&T makes a gazillion dollars on texting, $$$ that would likely vanish for iPhone users. Not having IM makes me not want an iPhone, so suck on that AT&T.

I called Toys R Us yesterday morning to see if they had heard of Super Smash Bros Brawl.

They had indeed. The front desk had no idea, but the R'Zone guy assured me that they would have Brawl for sale Sunday morning. I can't get let down after that, right? I mean, that's direct from the R'Zone.

I was also informed that select Wii titles will be 50% off on Sunday, although the only game he could mention was Mario and Sonic (I assumed the Olympic game). After thanking the clerk, I headed to Cheap Ass Gamer.com to see if they knew about this, and perhaps had already posted a list of the games. No dice. I'm like Bob Woodward here.

About an hour ago, I asked my lovely wife if she could find this weekend's Toys R Us sales flyer. This may seem like an impossible request to you, with your lack of time machines, but Rhonda is tapped into a network of bargain shoppers who somehow get ahold of all the weekend deals before the Sunday circulars are circulated.

And she found it. Now, this may not be reputable. Rhon immediately disclaimed this site as not one of her trusted sources. But it jibes with the scant clues revealed by my local store, so I'm duping it here...

Mario and Sonic at the olympic games
BEE movie
Zack and Wiki
Rayman Raving Rabbits 2
Spiderwick Chronicals
My Sims
Super Smash Brothers Brawl Guide (Book)

The key info is that you have to buy Brawl to get the half off. Now, that list is absolute shit, with the exception of Zack & Wiki, which is Holiday 2007's game everyone said was fantastic yet no one actually purchased. Zack & Wiki was recently busted down to a mere $30, so I'll be grabbing it for a merer $15. Would I have preferred No More Heroes? Sure.

This makes up for me sticking with TRU and not walking over to Circuit City, where you get a $10 gift card with your Brawl preorder. But it's not as great as TRU's classy Mario Galaxy deal, where you scored a $25 gift card. Nevertheless, I'm glad that TRU stepped up with a last minute deal in the face of Circuit City's offer.

Also noteworthy: the ad supposedly indicates Wiis back in stock this Sunday along with the Brawl release.

I've been thinking about this for a few days now, and I know you're not going to like hearing this... but I think, I think, I think I am prepared to state my conviction that Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction is a better game than Super Mario Galaxy.

I know I am on record that my disappointment with R&CF is pretty legendary. But I think my disappointment with Galaxy is even legendarier. It all comes down to the one thing that defines a great gaming experience for me: R&CF lets me explore 90% of the game at my own pace without overt direction, while Galaxy forces me to do 90% of the game in the linear platforming tradition.

It all started when I got my new HDTV. I had finished Ratchet months earlier (like, maybe even in November) and really had no inclination to play it again. In fact, three weeks ago I distinctly recall seeing it on my game shelf and thinking "Well, there's $60 forgotten."

But I wanted to see some genuine HD graphics fidelity, so about a week-and-a-half ago, I popped Ratchet back into the PS3. I only planned on playing a level or two, but I ended up playing through the entire game a second time over the next week. The whole thing. What kept it interesting for me was that, early on in this HD-inspired Ratchetfest, I happened to check the weapons store and discovered that additional weapons and weapon upgrades (up to level 10, compared to a max of 5 on the first playthrough) were now available for purchase. So then I kept playing just to see the new abilities. Then I bought the infinite Groovitron. Then I went after all the Gold Bolts. Then I found I could get a few more of the Skill Points. Unbelievably, tonight I did the first two or three worlds on a third playthrough, just because I was still enjoying all the amped-up weaponry.

In contrast, I fired up Mario Galaxy a couple weeks ago (again, to see it on the new TV) with the idea to do that one last planetoid on my list that remains star-less (the timed catch-the-bunnies world). Even though I've had people tell me that you just have to herd the rabbits into the crater, I still couldn't do it in the time alloted. So I gave up in disgust and I had no desire to jump into any of the other levels to chase a few more stars.

The differences between the games are minute, but meaningful. In both games, you have to fly to a planet to get into the level. Both games present worlds that have set paths. But in R&CF, you can travel back and forth throughout the entire path; you're not constantly pushed forward. You can rotate the camera in any direction you wish; you're not limited a few spare viewpoints. In Ratchet, the gameworlds all feel like living, natural environments. In Mario Galaxy, the levels are all intentionally constructed mousetraps.

Maybe that's your bag. It is certainly more in line with the classic Mario games. But it's not my preference at all. Given that Mario Sunshine had that free-roaming persistence, it just pisses me off all the more that I can't properly explore Galaxy's gorgeous, creative, nostalgic universe.

And there are other issues. I hate how Galaxy makes you choose which star you're going after, dropping you into limited alternate paths inside the same world. Why can't all the stars just be in one world and whichever ones I find, I find? Ratchet is much better about collectible incentives, letting you level up the weapons of your choice without it feeling like a grind. Having so many weapons keeps things interesting all the way through, whereas Mario's mushroom upgrades are sparsely utilized, often require you to re-learn the control scheme... and a couple of them just plain suck. If you die in Ratchet, you just spawn in at the last checkpoint, which was not that far back... no loss of money or lives. Mario's 1-UP system is awful and insulting; why should any modern game live off the tired old Run Out Of Lives And It's Game Over model? Then consider that Galaxy is definitely harder to play, particularly the final quarter of stars. I think it all adds up to R&CF being a far more accessible and rewarding game than Mario Galaxy. Which is ironic, given that accessibility is one of Nintendo's guiding directives.

Not that Galaxy doesn't have its fine points. Galaxy's boss battles are far more interesting (I LOVE Bouldergeist!) The level design is clever and impressive. The co-star mode is limited in scope but at least it's a try. Mario's nostalgia factor is unbeatable. And the challenge curve isn't necessarily a bad thing, I just never felt like the super-hard stuff was worth the pain of running out of 1-UPs a dozen times.

And of course, I still say that the Ratchet team is coasting; they haven't done anything to improve the series since the second game. It's become dependable, not innovative. The only significant feature added to Future: Tools of Destruction is the HD graphics. But, pound for pound, I had a lot more fun and a lot less frustration playing it, compared to Mario Galaxy. I would much rather play an easier game that gives me more to do (particularly when you're allowed to go back and gather EXP or whatever to help you through the hard parts), than a difficult game that hems me into one unyielding path.

Both series have a LOT more that they could be doing. In that respect, they're both failures. But there's no way that I could call Galaxy one of my all-time greats. Even after sadly realizing that R&CF was doing nothing to move the needle on the franchise, the game was still fun to play... whereas Galaxy just became a chore and a lot of fail/repeat/fail/repeat/fail/repeat/F Spring Mario right in the A.

I love Nintendo, but when it comes to adventure games I just want to be able to explore virtual worlds, and fiddle with customization junk as I go. They can do this... Chibi-Robo, Animal Crossing, Pikmin, Mario Sunshine, Legend of Zelda... the back-to-the-roots Mario Galaxy is a huge step down for me. I'm going to watch the next core Mario release very carefully, because if it's more Galaxy than Sunshine, I may have to take a pass.

This is it. The Nintendo console event that overshadows all else. Smash Brawl. Nintendo will be unlikely to top this level of anticipation during the Wii's lifespan. This is the game that sustains Nintendo's cred with the hardcore while maintaining the accessibility that has made them famous. In the GameCube generation, Melee surpassed both Mario and Legend of Zelda in sales, making it Nintendo's golden child. Plus, Melee did so much that it is almost absurd to imagine the concept getting any better... and yet all reports say it do and it does.

Like I said before, it's been a good long time since Melee, and it will be another long wait for the next one. I, like Wii owners across the U. S. of A., have already begun to prepare for this nigh-holy event. Here's a brief photo-essay on my personal pre-Brawl ritual.

First, the removal of Wii Sports from the console. I swear, this was not some kind of fabricated editorial comment on the lack of high-quality, top-selling Wii games. I honestly did have Wii Sports last loaded, because I did some boxing and bowling with Clark.

Battery check on my three Remotes. Bad news all around. The P3 Remote is actually so dead that it won't even register.

But the silver lining... I won't be using any of these to play Brawl. A-duh.

Pop off the GameCube port door. Yes, it comes off. In fact, Nintendo specifically wants you to detach the door if you're planning on using GameCube controllers.

Incidentally, I hear the Classic Controller works fine... for those of you who desire normal, non-waggle controls but never owned a GameCube.

Plug in the Wavebird transmitters. Give those Nintendo engineers a stamp for the day, because those legacy Wavebird thumbs fit fine on a horizontally-oriented Wii. I think the PS2 is glaring at it.

Ever since the Sony HDTV showed up, I had to move the Wii to the smaller shelves. So it no longer stands upright in that now-iconic way. It gets pretty bloody hot under the little white box (no bigger than three DVD cases, states Perrin Kaplan!), a problem no doubt exacerbated by the poor air flow in my entertainment center.

Now to find the GameCube peripherals. This drawer used to be a lot denser; I only recently moved the DK Bongos to the basement.

Roll call: two Wavebirds, ready to take the lead. The two wired controllers will be reserved for special multiplayer occasions. Note that the orange controller ("spice," in Nintendo's parlance of the times) has a nice loose loop going. That's because I'm a goddamn professional who has never wrapped a cable so tightly around the controller that it would develop bends and kinks.

The black controller is actually virginal, factory-fresh. Never been used. So that's some Nintendo-sweatshop-made cabling. Behind the noob is a pair of cable extenders, which are unfortunately third-party only because Nintendo never manufactured first-party cable extenders.

And, naturally, one Wii Remote to turn the game on. Shouldn't need much battery power for that.

This ad ran in all the Marvel books during, like, all of the early '90s. I got this particular scan out of Infinity Gauntlet #5, the one where all the cosmic beings show up to slap Thanos. (Found in a 35 cent bin and given to Clark!)

Is that really the best licensing use of Hulk? As an icon for adolescent internal torment?

Sure, part of the Hulk's appeal is that he is id personified, often portrayed as man's primal subconscious unchecked. But generally Hulk is either A) mollified by a girl with a bundle of flowers, or B) on the side of right anyway. (Old-school stupid Hulk, anyway. I'm more a fan of the self-aware intelligent Hulk, or the grumpy gray Mr. Fixit Hulk.) This ad definitely tweaks towards the rampaging Hulk, and his shame at having done so.

And why is that kid naked? Or don't I want to know?

Even 15 years ago, Marvel would sell characters for any paycheck. No matter if the money came from a typically shady faith-based organization. Maybe now we know why the kid's naked.

Again, I have to wonder how Marvel has managed to hold the reputation of being the grown-up, serious comics company.

Clark is teh three.

Things start getting really exciting at three, because they actually make board games for 3+. It can't be long before he plays Katamari.

Happy birthday, Clark!

New Frontier needs another 30 minutes, at least.

So I got the new DC direct-to-home-video movie, Justice League: The New Frontier, and it feels like it's missing something. Like, about half an hour of additional character motivations. There's so many people in this movie, that nobody has the time to develop into believable characters, excepting maybe Hal Jordan and Martian Manhunter. All the prime plot movers - King Faraday especially - are just sort of bullet points. It's more than a little confusing, and I'm Target Audience Numero Uno. I'm going to re-read the original comics and report back to you on this.

Original flavor Sealabs back on Adult Swim.

That first year of Sealab is damn near untouchable. Murphy's radio DJ gig, the Stimutacs episode, Stormy and Quinn's time loop, and Murphy spending all of Sealab's dough on a feng shui redesign "because I FREAKIN' LOVE HARMONY!"

Not renewing EGM.

I have decided not to bother renewing EGM, even at $24 for two years (which is pretty good considering the $20 for one year of Nintendo Power). The mag just keeps getting thinner and thinner, and I'm burned out on the continuing thread of Here's What Nintendo Fucked Up This Month. Although the latest issue does have a great GTAIV article (and, finally, an interview with the asshat who hacked out the Hot Coffee mod), I'm bailing. Probably.

Quite frankly, with the way the company has shifted towards 1UP.com over the last few years, I don't know that EGM as a magazine is even going exist in two years, which means they'd shunt my leftover subscription into Field & Stream.

Funny Clark story of the week.

Rhonda bought a kid-sized robe for Clark; he's been asking for one because Rhon wears one and I occasionally wear one. Clark's robe is light blue and has snowmen on it. It also has a hood, which is a feature unique to his robe.

He puts it on and immediately declares in a deep, scary voice: "I am Doctor Doom! ...And I have my hoodie up!"

I discovered this in a pamphlet that came with one of Clark's Mega Bloks sets. It really surprised me, because it's a charming, well-designed little comic stuck right after a bunch of adverts for the Mega family of products.

I mean, on a good day, Mega Bloks are a LEGO rip. On a good day, Fun Dough is just reverse-engineered Play-Doh. On a good day, the Rose Art stuff is just cheaper versions of Crayola junk.

And yet here's a nice essay about the importance of creativity. So I scanned it in and chopped it into a vertical format.

Very well done, Mega. I'd buy posters of this.