This is the issue with the Dan Hsu editorial about the game companies yanking review copies of their crappy games. On the latest Penny Arcade Podcast, Tycho opined that this was a plus. Not that EGM should name names, but that corporate PR machines should stay away from professional game reviewers. They're both correct: those press release copy/paste jobs that used to define "previews" suck. It's an insult to readers to assume that we can't tell the difference, and it creates a striking narrative disconnect when you read a glowing preview followed months later by the two-blargs-out-of-five full review. Like, boy, were these mugs fooled by the beta build! They weren't. They just weren't allowed to talk about it, some naively assuming that glaring issues would be fixed and others cowed in deference to the usual assembly line machine.
For my part, I still go by the undefinable feeling I get when I hear about a new game. I'll check out reviews from a couple sources, and then glean the pros and cons out of that. For a game like Disaster Report, the bad reviews did nothing to sway me from buying it, because I was that captured by the game's concept. Conversely, the phenomenal reviews for Burnout Paradise are not actually helping me to my decision because I can't lose the taste that it's just a damn car game. And I really enjoyed Burnout 3... I would just like to hear about more ancillary features that would make Paradise a better experience, rather than just more of what I expect from Burnout. But back to the magazine.
Nice Mario Galaxy interview with director Yoshiaki Koizumi. It's nice because it manages to run for a full two pages without unfairly harassing Sunshine. Mr. Koizumi directly refers to Sunshine as "nonlinear exploration," which, as I've said many many times, is the type of game I prefer. The article also reveals a second ending for Galaxy, which you get after beating the game with Luigi.
Followed by a Rock Band post-mortem, where Harmonix VP Greg LoPiccolo admits that the reason there is no non-scored practice mode is because they ran out of time! Boo. He makes up for this one question later, where he says it without saying it that we'll be able to use our DLC songs in Rock Band 2. Still wondering where those promised albums are? Greg says to wait until six months have passed since launch. I bet they are just fighting about what to charge for them. $2/song is reasonable in small doses, but a whole ten song album at that rate ($20!) would be crazy. The album thing is a fine idea, but they are going to need to apply a substantial discount to it.
There's a weird interview with former EGM writer Shawn Smith, who left the magazine after six years to go sew Domo-Kun ripoffs. I'm not a fan of putting your name in a product that has absolutely nothing to do with you, which is what this guy did with "Shawnimals." Enough people must be ordering his stuffed animals, because he's getting a DS game based the ninja-looking Shawnimals. They live in Shawnimaland, and I'm not making that up.
Rumor columnist Quartermann suggests multiple Guitar Hero sequels this year. Now we know why Activision hasn't been aggressive about DLC.
Then the big console wars article, a breakdown of all the games supposed to hit Wii, PS3 and 360 in 2008. I'll run through my personal picks from the list...
On Wii... I may get Wii Fit just for the sheer curiosity value, but it's nothing I'm super excited about. Mario Kart Wii scares me with the steering wheel controller. Have they announced normal, non-fucked-up Classic/Wavebird compatibility yet? de Blob is probably a definite purchase. No More Heroes is a big maybe. All in all, this article makes it look like a crappy year for the Wii, but that's because Nintendo never tells anybody anything about what they're actually working on. The article doesn't mention Smash Bros, but that's probably because they figured the game would be in stores not long after this mag saw print.
On PS3... LittleBigPlanet might actually come out this year! The blurb for The Agency has me very interested because it says that the game will text your cell phone throughout the day. Infamous, waiting for more info but eager to hear it. If Afrika is in fact a photography game, I will be there day one. MGS4 and GTA4, of course yes. Also yes to Soulcalibur 4 (Darth Vader notwithstanding), and a probable on Ghostbusters, if they make the game even half as good as the first screenshots.
The cover story is Smash Bros. (I got the Donkey Kong cover, waaaah.) It begins with a good summary of everything you've read online for months now. Shortly thereafter, the article spins out on sub-stories about Nintendo fandom and "the magic" of Nintendo design. Look. I know they've spent the last six years bashing Nintendo because it's what their oh-so-mature readers wanted to hear. This does not make up for that, now that suddenly, unexpectedly, Nintendo is king again.
Reviews. Harvey Birdman, not tracking well. This is kind of a case where I buy the game anyway, just because I like Harvey Birdman. It's apparently really short though, so that makes me want to hang for the first price drop. Endless Ocean doesn't even warrant a real review... is that game out yet? I'd love to read something substantial about it, because it seems intriguing.
Jeremy Parish has a very nice cheat sheet to the entire history of Metal Gear, which is no mean feat. And the very last page of the magazine is one of the best Hsu & Chan comics ever, a very sensible explanation as to why all the Nintendo characters are fighting to the death in Smash Bros.
