Mysteries from the JC Penney catalog
Sunday / 11.04.07 / 08:37PM / Joe / comments: 2
At least we know Guitar Hero 3 won't be the worst guitar game under trees this Christmas.
Oh calm down. I kid, I kid.
Yes, just what the kids of today want: ventriloquist dummies from three generations ago.
Possibly the most realistic military toy playset on the market! Kick back with a newspaper in the burned out home of the family you just killed!
Giant inflatable katamari? DO WANT.
What's worse than the actual CG Shrek character designs? The flat-fied cutesy versions.
It's 75 degrees outside. Time to wear your halter top and miniskirt!
Will look great on the shelf next to your neon Miller Lite sign... and you can fap to it!
Not only are these poor kids trying to play their ugly-ass Xbox with PS2 Dual Shock controllers, but they have no less than three copies of Star Wars: Starfighter. Christmas can't come soon enough.
This kid totally pwns u. He's playing his Xbox with his PSP. (See if you can spot the Photoshopping!)
 Happy Holidays! | 
There are so many guitar simulation toys out this Christmas season. Makes me wonder why people don't just go out and buy their kids guitars nowadays... :(
I think the fact that my father would kill an old lady on the side of a street for an "archie doll" as he calls them, is reason enough to believe that kids these days just don't care. Hell, I don't. They scare the hell out of me.
And just so you know, you have the coolest catalogues for expensive gimmicks I have ever seen. Ours usually just consist of good looking 20 year old mothers in their pajamas, which of course doesn't inspire women to buy their pajamas because she looks so much better in them, and a bunch of weird looking kids playing with plastic crayon organisers. High five, kids. Your toys are cool!