He just gave an "American Might Makes Right" speech. This is going to play well in the Red State sticks, although they won't see the big philosophical transformation coming. Which is probably fine. I mean, the first half of this trailer looks like an embarrassing 9/11 revenge flick, but it seems plain that Tony will see the error of his ways and, by the end of the movie, change his weapons company into a defense-through-technology company.

And he's funny. This is more Robert Downey Jr than Tony Stark... but it's still good casting. And it's nice to see a super-hero movie that isn't about some impossibly gorgeous young CW dropout. Downey is old.

Then he does the cha-cha.

Oooohh... very classic. Stark, beaten and enslaved, secretly forging his battlesuit. I didn't bother with screenshotting the other guy in Stark's prison... the Careworn Scientist who delivers Worldview-Changing Advice yet meets an Untimely End.

Wow. I've always liked the original blocky gray Iron Man suit, and this is just a great interpretation. It's the bucket head that never fails to get me.

Shitty, over-obvious music. First of all, Sabbath's "Iron Man" has nothing to do with this character. And it's a terrible song. It's a joke. This is some marketroid's giggly attempt at cool. Ruins the whole trailer for me. Not clever in the least. I'd have given them a pass had they just kept the riff without the pretentious vocals.

Then begins the montage, which is a pile of stuff that nobody cares about because Iron Man doesn't exactly have a huge, well-developed supporting cast. Pepper Potts? Give me a fucking break. She's Stan Lee's half-assed joust at Lois Lane. At least Rhodey's in there. So is the ??? bad guy, a nearly unrecognizable Jeff Bridges.

Yes, the bad guy has a suit too. Jesus, what else could you do? I'm sure it is called War Machine and I'm sure the movie ends with Jim Rhodes peeling it off of Jeff Bridges' broken body.

See? War Machine. (Wikipedia says it's the Iron Monger, which, once you remove the villains that are uncomfortable Asian stereotypes, must rank pretty high on the Iron Man nemesis meter.)

Super-sweet. More of this, please.

"Repulsor Blast!"

The trailer ends with eight minutes of Iron Man flying around doing nothing. WTF? I'm glad to see the guy in daylight - verifies that he's in the classy red and gold - but shouldn't the trailer end with something happening? Some foreboding dialogue? Something exploding? Downey saying something hilariously ironic from inside the suit, probably to children at a bus stop? "Stay in school, kids. And eat your iron!" BA-ZOOM!