Toys R Us is having it's probably-annual Buy 2 Get 1 Free game sale (ends Saturday). Which really just means they're trying to blow out inventory before all the really huge fall releases start dropping... like Mario Galaxy, R&C Future, Halo 3, Phantom Hourglass, etc.

I walked in planning to pick up Warhawk (the boxed edition with the bluetooth headset), which meant that I would have to work to maximize my savings by getting games all around the $50-$60 range. On the PS3 racks, this is tougher than we'd all like to admit.

I grabbed Warhawk, then mulled over Metroid Prime 3 for a couple minutes before grabbing that too. But what to choose for the free game?

I had a couple DS suspects in mind, but I really couldn't accept selecting a free game that was half the price of the pay games. Drawn to Life was the lead contender, but at $30, it was simply not an option. Sure, I could have finally picked up Pokemon Trozei - which I've wanted for years - but I cannot let Nintendo get away with keeping that goddamn first-year-DS puzzle game at $35. Even if I'm actually getting it for nothing, I'd still feel like I was wasting my free pick, plus somehow rewarding Nintendo for refusing to drop prices.

So back to the PS3/Wii racks.

Mario Party 8? But I'm holding out until they give me a reason to get back into that series. Big Brain Academy? Eh. Is that even worth $50 in the first place? Blazing Angels (PS3) was there, but why would I buy that when Blazing Angels 2 just came out. NHL '08 (PS3) wouldn't be bad, but I'm never going to play it unless Mike's around.

I even tried the PS2 section, but every game there was either a shitty kids movie tie-in, priced at a pathetic $20, or both. Except for Guitar Hero Rocks the '80s, EYEROLL.

Hey, there's Lair and Heavenly Sword... I guess I could get one of those for (nearly) free? As a joke, maybe. Just as I'm trying to talk myself into Lair, the roof of the store peels back and I get hit with a lightning bolt, which returns me to the land of sense.

Back to Wii. I mean really, once you pull out all the movie games, it looks like mym home collection. Mario Strikers, check. Zelda, check. Trauma Center, check. Then, down at the bottom, I notice Wii Play... but it's just the DVD case, not the box. "I didn't know they released that sans Remote," I think, "How fucking stupid." But I am wrong; the case is just one of those game placeholders because even though this is an R'Zone now, you're still expected to beg at the counter for the new games just like the old grab-a-ticket system.

So, geez. A free Remote and that crappy Wii Play disk. Why not.

I stood around for quite a bit longer, trying to imagine all the scenarios where I would need three Remotes. Not for Smash Bros, that will be all GameCube controllers. Mario Strikers, yes, but I'd need a third damn nunchuck (not today). So, Wii Sports then. And Elebits, I guess.

I swear this whole adventure took an hour. With me walking back and forth through the aisles. I got to hear some obnoxious teen sales clerk upsell some hapless parents on a store warranty and screen protectors... for that new GBA they bought.

I get in line and, as a squad of two employees figure out how to scan my $5 coupon (which, in all candor, wasn't truly applicable if you read the fine print, which they didn't), I notice the box for Boogie in the glass case behind the racks. Boogie, which was not out on the Wii shelves. Not that I want Boogie, mind you, I'm just wondering how in hell they expect to sell games when they don't even display them properly.

And there's Carnival Games. Blazing Angels 2. Oblivion. The Godfather (PS3 and Wii versions). F.E.A.R. Resident Evil 4 Wii Edition. All hidden behind the register, some even with their backs facing outward. Mother of fucking god. It was like spending all of your alloted test time on one really difficult essay, only to discover a follow-up question on the reverse side.

In the end, I stayed with my trio, Warhawk / Metroid 3 / Wii Play. It's two good games and one mediocre one, plus another Wii Remote and a bluetooth headset so I too can chomp on nachos while I play Texas Hold 'Em to the delight of all. After my coupon and two gift cards, my bill was just over $100, which is pretty freakin' sweet when you consider that Warhawk by itself is $60.

Although I did IM my sister right away and say "if you go and can't come up with three games, call me." Then I went home and played more LocoRoco.

Oh, and the register jockey told me that they have 40 Wiis to put up for sale Sunday morning, and they WILL be advertised in the circular.