And I thought THAT ONE was lousy.
05.14.07 / 08:07PM / Joe / comments: 2
 Since I've been rampaging through the entirety of fourhman.com since the weekend (adding tags to all FIVE YEARS worth of entries, thankyouverymuch), I've run into plenty of old topics. One of which was Spider-Man 2. I thought it was crappy.
Only now do I see how wrong I was.
In a strange confluence of events, we (the family) watched Spider-Man 2 this past weekend. Clark, too. The whole thing, even. Just whenever Spider-Man was not on screen, he repeatedly and insistently demanded his appearance. And Peter Parker rarely counted.
Anyway, so now I've recently seen Spider-Man 2 and recently reviewed my initial impressions of the film. So now it is terribly clear how they screwed up Spider-Man 3.
Things I had forgotten about Spider-Man 2:
- 2 also has a ridiculous musical montage thing (Peter's New Life Without the Mask sequence). I hated it in 2 and I double-hated it in 3.
- In 2, MJ is a successful Broadway star, the rave of the town. In 3, MJ is an unsuccessful Broadway star.
John Jameson. Astronaut. You know, a guy who could have legitimately tied the whole Alien Symbiote thing together for us.
Since we all forgot... yeah, Barnard the Butler was in 2. Hiding his secret love, I think.
The core cast seemed far less ugly in 2, but that's probably due to the small screen vs, the big screen.
The only character improvement from 2 to 3 was, ironically, in Harry. For some crazy reason, in 2 he's this young CEO shooting thumbs-up to Doc Ock and crowing about his Oscorp will scale new heights in technology. And he's what, college age? I'm never clear how old these kids are supposed to be. In 3, he's back to a spoiled, unemployed rich kid.
Sandman had nothing to do with Uncle Ben getting killed. Funny how I forgot that one, since Sandman's involvement is so incredibly obvious.
So, even with a 60% dropoff in sales, they'll make another one. (As we said at work today, 60% of a huge ass is still a huge ass.) Now that's the Osborn family is mercifully out of the picture, what's next for Pete and company?
- Give the Gwen Stacy vs. MJ thing an honest go. She was completely unnecessary to 3 and should probably die dramatically and purposefully in 4. Although they can't kill her like they did in the comics since that was pretty much how the end of Spider-Man 1 wrapped up (although without anybody dying and with a lot of obnoxious New York sentimentality).
- Hero crossover. Dr. Strange has already been mentioned... a perfect choice for villains with a supernatural bent like Morbius the LIVING VAMPIRE or Mysterio the FISHBOWL HEAD.
- Topher Grace as Venom again. I don't care how many exploding rib cages I saw; he survived and he's pissed.
- Make good on the Lizard tease. I did previously mention that the no-name dude that has been playing Curt Conners would be re-cast should Lizard get the nod, but I forgot to consider that they could easily just have him go Lizard and never go back. I lost the link already but I read a comment somewhere that a Lizard appearance could dovetail nicely with the bombastic Kraven the Hunter.
- I think the Spider-Slayers have a decent shot at making a movie. Very obvious candidates for mega CG effects. I also think the Spider-Slayers are boring as hell. Make Scorpion their leader.
- Vulture. The geezer version. Somebody Spidey can't punch. Turns into Death of Aunt May.
- Has enough time passed that we could do Black Cat and not remind anybody of Catwoman? No? How about Silver Sable instead?
- No Rhino. No Shocker. If we include them, who could possibly be considered worse enough to be the first-level bosses in the accompanying video game?
- You want a daring choice? Go with Electro in his classic garb.
- And hey, Sandman is still out there. That means we can definitely dredge up Hydro-Man and go for the special effects powerhouse of our time: the Mud Thing!
The ladies love him. | 
