We played the crap out of Mario Tennis on the N64. It was always a reliably fun evening. So I was pretty psyched for the sequel.

And then I was pretty disappointed. Because it's not a sequel. At least, not in the respect of offering anything new. It's the same game, except kicked in the junk a couple times. This is the kind of forgettable fare that hurts Nintendo's "the sequels are worth it" image and unleashes the anti-fanboys.

What went wrong? Those flashy new power shots, for starters. I'm sure they were intended to "Mario-ify" the experience in the same way that Mario Kart does racing games, but they just assassinated the game of tennis, wrecking the sport's flow with repetitive, over-long animations. And since these cartoonish plays always return any shot, no matter how far across the court, you can forget about your strategy and settle in for some painful endurance volleys. The best feature about the power shots is that you can turn them off. And we did.

Then there's the mini-games (and bonus court environments), which run from unplayable to maddening. Half of these games take place on fields so colorful that you can't see the ball. And the other half require the kind of tennis skill that the core game won't let you develop if power shots are turned on. If you've ever played multiplayer on that Paint The Wall game, well, you probably only played it once. It will kill your friends and then it will kill you.

Ok, sure, it looks great. Having new character choices is always a Good Sequel Thing (Wiggler!) To give the game proper due, there's not much you need to do to make a great tennis game, if that's all you plan to accomplish. Mario Tennis was a great tennis game. Mario Power Tennis was also a great tennis game, once you sidestepped the lousy add-ons. Just one that you largely didn't need if you still had the N64 version around.

Memory Score: "Yours."

This is the one that debuted the microphone games. That's why I got it.

The notion of voice-controlled games pushed me past my Party Ennui, and it was cute enough for a couple go-rounds. It was also nice to see the series step outside of the collect-coins-buy-stars paradigm and offer up some different goals on certain boards. Honestly, why *did* we have to have six boards with the exact same structure in the previous games?

Nevertheless, the interest level for Mario Party is on life-support these days. The games simply suck up too much time, and there's too much waiting around for your turn. We officially skipped on Mario Party 7 after this one. And Mario Party 8 is going to need to show some serious rationale before I'll pick it up on the Wii.

I've been argued with on this topic, but I remain steadfast in my opinion that this franchise needs to go online... not so you can play strangers and watch them disconnect once you're ahead, but so you can play against friends and take your turns simultaneously. Apply some of the community elements that online games have enjoyed for years - custom avatars, rankings, team variants - and you've got the Mario Universe game that can finally get the Nintendo brand online.

Memory Score: The game show thing is a good idea... perfect for a Wii appearance.

How bizarre that Resident Evil's grand resurrection - a game some say was the high point for this entire generation - was on the Nintendo Friggin' GameCube?

There's just no reason why this played out the way it did. My theory is that we all live inside the mindscape of a disillusioned Nintendo fan in the real world who wished so hard for the PS2's Resident Evil 4 on the GameCube that he created a pocket reality.

After such a convoluted development history, the even bigger shock was that the game was damn good. In that pre 01/05 world, Resident Evil was a bloody joke, most commonly known for overextending itself into ports and a truly awful online version. Core Game Number Four (No Subtitle) turned it all around.

The risks paid off. Some of the series' staple elements were scuttled, but no one mourned them. They made some pundit hay with the notion of "No Zombies In This One!" but come on; the Ganados are fucking zombies in every aspect that counts.

This game proved that you can turn around a dying franchise, giving hope to all the Bandicoots, Tomb Raiders, Spyros and Sonics of the world. You just have to aim for blisteringly awesome and end up topping it.

Because gamers are now sweating a new RE game like never before. You can count it once again among the Modern Greats like Metal Gear Solid and Legend of Zelda.

Memory Score: "What're ye selling?"

Next time: dust off your pistol, your beam cannon, and your bongos!