In case you're interested, 2007 will be exactly the same as 1990 and 2001, numerically speaking. I look this up every year so I can re-use old calendars. I'm serious.

See, I have a lot of cool old calendars that I never threw away: Red Dwarf, Pokemon, Magic, Monty Python, Mickey Mouse-in-1930s comics. So when those years cycle around again, I get to enjoy them again. Typically, the "old" calendar is re-presented in the downstairs bathroom or in the computer room, depending on the coolness factor of the content. We usually get a new one for the other slot - a genuine 2007 calendar, in this case featuring Superman - so the pile of possible future contenders always grows. Unrelatedly, Rhon likes to have her own calendar in the kitchen that she can write on. J'accuse!

We hustled out to Toys R Us today after reading reports of a cool video game clearance sale. And we did quite well.

I introduced Mike to the Wii this weekend. Predictably, Wii Sports has a big hit; he and I enjoyed some lengthy bowling challenges. Mike actually worked up to the Pro level when I wasn't looking and unlocked a sparkly bowling ball for his Mii. It was such a smart move on Nintendo's part to make sure that every US Wii owner walked away with Wii Sports (I won't call it a "free" game since a Japanese Wii w/o Wii Sports goes for about $210 American), because it sells the system. Now Nintendo just has to keep the momentum going with more stuff in the same vein. It ain't videos of people playing Zelda that are all over the internet... it's Wii Sports. Wario Ware Smooth Moves will be the next big Wii game that continues on this path, and it will generate similarly stupid/silly videos for YouTube. But then what?

The Wii and PS2 kept us plenty busy in the AM. We also did some Guitar Hero, Elebits, Bully, Trauma Center... and, of course, everything I've purchased to date from the Virtual Console. Chiefly: Toe Jam & Earl.

Background: Some chump takes umbrage to having spelling and grammar corrected in a previous post. Complete original discussion here.

This is a classic example of Nintendo releasing something silly and fun that nobody cares about.

I mean, come on. We all knew that the DK Bongos would not be used for f-all else but this one line of rhythm games (We got two of them; I think Japan got three.) Nintendo managed to squeak out the innovative Jungle Beat in a surprise move, but, like the eReader before it, the Bongos' future strength was decided by the lack of present sales.

The Konga project was actually done by Namco, not Nintendo, who would later sideline a PS2 version (Taiko Drum Master) without any pretense of ever using the drum peripheral again. Donkey Konga and Taiko Drum Master are therefore bizarrely identical games, with Taiko just edging out with a better song list. Both games, however, include a terrible version of Love Shack.

Donkey Konga's biggest failing - apart from killing your arms in 20 minutes - is the decidely low-fi presentation. The backgrounds are filled with Donkey Kong Country renders that amount to animated gifs, and the menu structure is obnoxious thanks to the Bongos' lack of a d-pad. Nintendo could have gotten a lot more mileage out of this one had they just worked with Namco to amp up the look to something more than SNES levels. (Perhaps not ironically, Taiko Drum Master arrived with a stylized, cartoony look far superior to DK's 3D renders of dancing banana chickens.)

Memory Score: Be fair... that "konga" pun was pitch-perfect.

This is the first time I've been in a store that had PS3s for sale. On a Friday night, perhaps two hours from closing, Toys R Us had three tickets and two big empty boxes just sitting in the main walkway. Not in the video game section. And yes, they were out of Wiis. I even witnessed a distraught old couple asking about the Wii and being told that the store "had no idea" when the next shipment would arrive.

Elite Beat Agents is the best DS game out there. Sucks that nobody bought it.

You'll have this. I've felt spoiled lately, because many of the recent games that I thought were fantastic but with the potential to end up undersold somehow broke through. Katamari, LEGO Star Wars, these are games that you play... and then you want to make sure that others play them. It makes you happy because you feel like things are right in the world; good games rise to the top. Elite Beat Agents is one of these games, but it's not rising.

I think Nintendo let this one slip away, perhaps expecting it to ride the viral wave that took Katamari to critical and commercial success. It should have. Considering the weak stuff that Nintendo has dumped adverdollars on, it's a double shame that this one really great game got nothin'. The one thing they did for it was to put it in their DS Demo Stations, which was what convinced me to get it. Without that, I myself may never have tried it.

When I initially walked through the gates of Bullworth Academy, the first student to walk past me yelled "I hate you!" Later on, I had that same kid eating out the palm of my hand. That's pretty much the character arc of Bully. You, as career ne'er-do-well Jimmy Hopkins, show up at a new school full of fools, and you end up as Mr. Popular.

Not really the school slaying simulator that certain crusading lawyers and easily-swayed-by-the-press-release media outlets would have had us believe. Whether Rockstar intended Bully as a colossal bait and switch for the video luddite crowed, or whether the game was dialed down in response to GTA criticism, we'll never know until that final shareholders' report. Yes, there is violence - but the "worst" weapon in the game is a baseball bat and you can't even retain it as a selectable item. Yes, it covers the uglier side of school life - but it tempers the peer pressure and name calling and, well, bullying with a strong message of "stop being a dick and letting others think for you."

At no point can you tear up a classroom with an AK-47, nor can you ram a monster truck through a crowd of elementary school kids. The best vehicle in the game is a go-kart. For some of you, maybe this is your exit cue.

If you had mentioned this to me a week ago, I'd have guessed this to be an "only in Japan" kind of thing. But no, I found this odd little bit of co-branding at our local US grocery store.

Episode 1: Trio of Mayhem! Love And Boyfriends!!
Featured Song: Steriogram - "Walkie Talkie Man" (2004)
You Probably Know It Better As: That old iPod song that sounds like it's sung by the Muppets.
Embarrassing Secret: On the Robots soundtrack.

Stage Synopsis: A teen girl wants to ask her football star pal to go steady, but the couple is continually distracted by babysitting duties. The Elite Beat Agents must help the teens get the kiddies to bed so they can have their romantic moment together. The level culminates in a hilarious screen where the guy equates the girl to football uprights. No innuendo there, no sir!

Song Analysis: Um, utter nonsense. The only recognizable lyrics are, predictably, the chorus:

He’s fat and he don’t run too fast
But he’s faster than me
Last night at the show we saw him
Going out of his tree

For some reason, it suggests to me a bouncer at a rock show, or maybe a guard at the mall, some scene where a fat dude has a brief moment of authority in private sector security. I honestly don't expect you're intended to think about it very much.

How Do They Match Up? Lousy. There's no connection here at all. It's a good opening level though; the song is recent enough to seem hip and quirky enough to let you know that the game doesn't care what you think of it. Perhaps more importantly, the song's speedy tempo and babbling lyrics make you think you're playing at a harder level, so it's a confidence booster.

Episode 5: Magic Meets Madness! The Show Must Go On!
Featured Song: Stray Cats - "Rock This Town" (1981)
Desparately Trying To Bring Back: Swing.
Embarrassing Secret: Began as young guys playing your grandfather's music; Now grandfathers playing your great-grandfather's music.

Stage Synopsis: A performing magician has fallen on hard times, but just as things look bleak for his career, a gang of costumed thieves holds up the casino... giving him and his assistant a golden opportunity to wow the casino owner. With the Agents' support, the magician uses the full strength of his bag of tricks to capture the crooks one by one.

Song Analysis: Sort of a romantic comedy in song form, Rock This Town follows a couple through a crazy night of club-hopping. This couple obviously embodies the Stray Cats' rebellious retro attitude, as they discuss their styled hair and hatred of disco.

How Do They Match Up? Fair. Given that Rock This Town is a song about having fun, marginally in a dating scenario, it's a pretty good fit. The magician and his assistant are a couple themselves, and the level involves them working together to smack down another set of costumed characters... which seems like a good analogy to the Swing vs. Disco fight mentioned in the song.

Episode 9: Family Honor! Introducing the Secret-Weapon Ninja!!
Featured Song: Jamiroquai - "Canned Heat" (1999)
Not Likely To Appear In A PlayStation Game Because: Dude hates Sony.
Embarrassing Secret: That famous Napoleon Dynamite dance finale was actually synced to Canned Heat in post.

Stage Synopsis: A famous car company has lost their secret plans to a rival manufacturer... so the boss enlists his slacker son to sneak into the competitor's building and steal them back. The Agents' smooth moves provide the honorable sneak-thief with all the ninja skills he needs to stay ahead of the security guards and snatch the prototype car blueprints.

Song Analysis: About two thirds of Canned Heat's lyrics are missing from this cover, so we're left with only one major verse and a lot of repeated chorus lines. The point remains, however: everything may be lousy in the world, but tonight - tonight - I intend to forget it all through the self-hypotizing power of dance.

How Do They Match Up? Intriguing. You could conflate dancing with ninjitsu and be done with it, but, from the son's perspective, his life was better before this one particular night. To a longtime shiftless benefactor of nepotism, the demand to retrieve the stolen plans seems an impossible task. His story is almost the inverse of Canned Heat's message... although both have happy endings.

Episode 13: Rags to Riches! Go East Wildcatter!
Featured Song: David Bowie - "Let's Dance" (1983)
Your Video Is A Non-Sequiter When: An Aboriginal couple fighting capitalism is the imagery you choose for your dance club track.
Embarrassing Secret: This song marks the precise moment that Bowie started selling out.

Stage Synopsis: A wealthy oil baron hits a run of bad luck and loses it all... much to the disdain of his trophy wife. So the former billionaire resolves to personally re-build his empire, and he takes to the desert with a shovel. The Agents are on hand to gently guide the eager magnate from one financial success to the next.

Song Analysis: It's a happy boppy little song (marred only by the obnoxious barbershop quartet crap at the open.) But, unlike Rock This Town or Canned Heat - tracks with similar Let's Have Fun Tonight themes - this one has this dark twinge to it.

Let's dance for fear your grace should fall
Let's dance for fear tonight is all

Most of the lyrics point towards an unhappy ending, as if this dance will be the last time ever enjoyed by Bowie and his unnamed partner.

How Do They Match Up? Nada. Despite being part of the super-rich elite, our oil baron comes off as a sympathetic character. His money-making efforts are a result of his own hard work, which is laudable even if his end goal is self-serving. None of which has anything to do with dancing or clubbing or running away together or perhaps dying tomorrow.

Bonus 1: Aspire! Dancing to the Limelight!!
Featured Song: Cher - "Believe" (1998)
That Weird Electronic Effect: Is interestingly intentional.
Embarrassing Secret: If you still can't wrap your brain around how long Cher has been around, consider this: she dated Warren Beatty when he was in his 20's.

Stage Synopsis: A country girl is working as a waitress in the big city, serving platters while she plans on becoming a Broadway star. In the middle of her juggling practice and her work, her boyfriend Tex shows up, willing to take her home if she abandons her dream. The Agents provide the backup as she prepares for the audition of a lifetime.

Song Analysis: Cher is kickin' her dude to the curb. Bold and unafraid, Cher does not worry about ending the relationship. She is excited by the future, not intimidated, and certainly not lonely. In fact, she suspects that the guy she dumped may have the harder time of it.

How Do They Match Up? One word only. "Believe", the word by itself, is nicely appropriate for a tale about working hard for a difficult goal. The song's "I'm better without you" vibe doesn't do much, though.

Daring Fireball turned me on to a new little app called Wii Transfer, which purports to accomplish one of the items outlined in my famous Wiish Liist a month ago. In fact, it follows one of my suggestions so closely that I must be pre-cog. Or these needs are so basic that every Wii owner in the world wants to see it happen. From my request list:

"[The Wii] should be able to find MP3s on my iMac and play them. It should be able to send save files over to the computer for backup. It should be able to share pictures and movie files."

Wii Transfer does all of that. Here's me listening to the Lightning Seeds via the Wii:

More specifically, my last Day One pre-order PS2 purchase. There's still a few interesting rumors in the pipeline (KH2 Final Mix!) and plenty of games that I missed when they were new that I now intend to circle back to.

I pre-ordered Chulip solely because it doesn't strike me as the sort of thing that any store will have around in any kind of number. I'm pretty much counting on the local EBs stocking zero to one of it, and I want to make sure I get one. This is exactly how I felt about the first Katamari, by the way... the game is so stupidly obscure that nobody is going to have it around.

In fact, Chulip is an EB/GameStop exclusive, so if those guys don't have it, ain't nobody gonna have it.

The annual Nintendo Power awards are a long-endured sham, but I still toss my votes in there to mess up the 100% response of the Zelda voting bloc. It's particularly asinine to even bother with the pretense of "reader voting" in a year that saw a Legend of Zelda release; Twilight Princess will win every award in which it is nominated.

To make it extra stupid, the contest associated with the voting offers the prize of the Games of the Year for Wii, Cube, GBA and DS. So, seeing as you're reading Nintendo Power, odds are that you already own Twilight Princess. So whomever wins this contest will end up with three copies. The one he or she already owns, plus the Wii and GameCube versions that will inevitably win GOTY in their respective console categories. Terrible.

Even winning a Wii in this contest is kind of a wash, since I'll wager a healthy proportion of Nintendo Power's readership already has one. It's like a TV station giving out a free TV set. Guh-whuh?

Seriously? Score!! We are so pleased.

Kotaku reports that Katamari Damacy Online is coming... to Korea.

Details are scarce, but it's not being done by Namco... it has been farmed out to Windysoft, a game development house in Korea that specializes in casual games. Like, internet flash games I guess. It sort of sounds like a "we asked Namco and they said Yeah, Sure" kind of thing. No platform is mentioned, but everything else they've done looks online-PC-based.

I love that the logo has the big Japanese title of the game, but with little tiny Korean characters hidden in the lower left corners. And, of course, "online" is in English.

I've never bothered to import video games before. Although there's certainly some stuff I'd like to try, I'm just not interested in modding a console to get it done.

Even with the rise of the GBA and DS - both of which contain no region lock and therefore require no modding to play foreign games - I haven't bothered. I've certainly looked into it, but anything that I would be interested in seems to be too dependant on the Japanese language. Like the Sgt. Frog DS game, dammit.

Until Elite Beat Agents, anyway. My copy of Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan, the spiritual precursor to EBA, arrived today.

It is happily import-friendly. Especially if you know EBA backwards and forwards, since many of the menu options are in the same place. I only had a moment of panic when I failed a level and realized that I had no idea which button was Retry and which was Quit. (50/50, I got it right!)

The title means "Go! Fight! Cheer Squad", by the way.

Classic example of civic paranoia magnified by a national media that reports before investigating.

When the story first broke that Boston had a city-wide, large-scale bomb threat, it was understandably very serious. Then the update comes that it's a hoax, but most of the city is shut down as the hoax devices are being tracked down and removed. And you're like, jesus shit, why would somebody do that. Ah well, people are stupid all over.

Then it comes out that Cartoon Network was behind the hoax, that it's a marketing stunt. And you're like, holy crap, why would they make bombs and drop them around the city to promote the Aqua Teen movie?

Except they weren't bombs, were they? They're Lite Brites.

That's the missing bit that nobody talked about until it was too late to save Boston from a crippling scarefest and the rest of us from yet another terrorism false alarm. Remember those six minutes when we thought Al Qaeda was behind the NYC blackout?