Comparing the Songs to the Stories in Elite Beat Agents, Part 3 Sunday / 01.21.07 / 01:35PM / Joe
Episode 9: Family Honor! Introducing the Secret-Weapon Ninja!!
Featured Song: Jamiroquai - "Canned Heat" (1999)
Not Likely To Appear In A PlayStation Game Because: Dude hates Sony.
Embarrassing Secret: That famous Napoleon Dynamite dance finale was actually synced to Canned Heat in post.
Stage Synopsis: A famous car company has lost their secret plans to a rival manufacturer... so the boss enlists his slacker son to sneak into the competitor's building and steal them back. The Agents' smooth moves provide the honorable sneak-thief with all the ninja skills he needs to stay ahead of the security guards and snatch the prototype car blueprints.
Song Analysis: About two thirds of Canned Heat's lyrics are missing from this cover, so we're left with only one major verse and a lot of repeated chorus lines. The point remains, however: everything may be lousy in the world, but tonight - tonight - I intend to forget it all through the self-hypotizing power of dance.
How Do They Match Up? Intriguing. You could conflate dancing with ninjitsu and be done with it, but, from the son's perspective, his life was better before this one particular night. To a longtime shiftless benefactor of nepotism, the demand to retrieve the stolen plans seems an impossible task. His story is almost the inverse of Canned Heat's message... although both have happy endings.
★ ★ ★
Episode 10: Survive! Celebrity Lives and Desert Isles!!
Featured Song: Madonna - "Material Girl" (1985)
Number of Times "controversial" and "controversy" appear in Madonna's Wikipedia entry: 23. (Interestingly, the phrase "boring old twat" never appears once.)
Embarrassing Secret: Never hit #1 thanks to REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling."
Stage Synopsis: Two vapid celebutantes find themselves stranded on a deserted island. Although they decide to make the best of it - and perhaps enjoy some solitude for a change - they have absolutely no idea how to survive without the conveniences of being rich and adored. The Agents act as a cheering section for the animals on the island who pitch in to assist the young beauties.
Song Analysis: You can see why Madonna moved on to deeper stuff, because Material Girl is as embarrassingly shallow as the title character. She only wants boyfriends who are wealthy. End of song.
The best you can say about it is that it's kind of an odd use of the word "material."
How Do They Match Up? Looks intentional. A completely appropriate pairing. The twins learn next to nothing from their experience and neither does the fictional Material Girl.
★ ★ ★
Episode 11: NURSE! Gold Medal Hero or Zero!!
Featured Song: Ashlee Simpson - "La La" (2005)
Other Childrens' Euphemisms For Sex : doing it, sleeping together, kissing.
Embarrassing Secret: Ashlee Simpson.
Stage Synopsis: A star sprinter falls ill right before a major event. He is convinced he can work through it in time, but his coach isn't as sure. The secret weapon is his white blood cells, which appear as a team of sexy female nurses. The Agents provide the energy to help the nurses stand against the onslaught of evil virus men.
Song Analysis: If you're a young girl with the goal of making it in the music industry, you need two things: an image stylist and a song where you talk about having sex with whoever is listening.
I have to confess that I like the bit where you hear a teakettle whistle. Some sound engineer in LA should pat him/herself on the back for that one.
How Do They Match Up? Whuh? OK, the nurses are sexy, the song is sexy. That's about it.
★ ★ ★
Episode 12: A Christmas Gift
Featured Song: Chicago - "You're the Inspiration" (1984)
You're Not Mentally Prepared For: This level.
Embarrassing Secret: After this album was released, Peter Cetera left the band to persue a solo career of even more schmaltzy ballads, including one with Wings' Crystal Bernard.
Stage Synopsis: In a warm family scene, a father leaves for a business trip, promising to return with a toy for his young daughter. An accident takes his life, but the little girl has trouble understanding the loss. On Christmas, the girl and her distraught mother busy themselves with routine holiday duties, all the while confronting memories of the lost father. The Agents soothing music helps the sundered family find closure for that terrible day when dad never came home.
Song Analysis: As far as love songs go, this one is pretty generic. It is probably most understood as a love for a significant other, but could be extrapolated to almost any loving relationship. You can even play with the verb tenses and turn it into a song about unrequited love. It's very flexible.
How Do They Match Up? Searing. You can't play this level and not connect it to the hopeful little girl. In fact, I doubt I'll ever hear the song again and not think that. It's amazing how a cheesy love song is lifted to a higher level when paired with a heart-wrenching story. |