released December 2003, purchased February 2004
click here for my review written in February 2004!
This is the absolute most over-rated game this generation.
BG&E consistently pops up on every critic's "Overlooked Gems" list. It's held up as a triumph of story in video games. Guaranteed, when the dust finally settles on this generation, you'll find it on every single Most Awesome Games list out there.
And I do not get it at all. This is a half-hearted, transparent effort at best. The vaunted storyline is obnoxiously simple, with stock characters (hey look! the guy who looks like a jingoistic dope actually is a jingoistic dope!) and a plot that could have been ripped from an episode of Captain Planet. And here's a pro tip: it's all over in six hours.
The advance hype on this thing was intense... here was a new IP with a deep-thinking title that was going to change the way you thought about interactive media. Somehow, everybody bought into it. Still. When you can find genuinely complex storylines and richly layered characters in games like MGS2, Fatal Frame 2 and Eternal Darkness (to name a few) on this generation's racks, holding up Beyond Good & Evil as some kind of artistic pinnacle is just humiliating. Any critic who does so should have his or her license revoked.
Sales for BG&E were so poor that the price was dropped from $50 to $20 after only a month on sale. $20 is about right. The actual gameplay was okay (if you dig Zelda clones, which is fine), but the whole package was hugely oversold and falsely reviewed.
Memory Score: ALPHA SECTIONS MURDERERS! ALPHA SECTIONS MURDERERS!
| Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles |
released February 2004, purchased February 2004
click here for my review written in April 2004!
I know that this game's release on a Nintendo system was something of an historic moment, given the storied relationship between the Final Fantasy folks and console exclusivity. But seeing as how I've never played a Final Fantasy game, I didn't really care about such a momentous cessation of hostilities. All I was interested is was that this game required a pile of GBAs for multiplayer.
I'll bite on non-traditional control schemes every time, especially when they are born of top-tier developers. And in those pre-DS days, plugging in Game Boy Advances for additional screen space and game efficiency was just too compelling. When FF:CC came out, I had two GBAs - an original and an SP - and I bought a second SP not long afterward.
It's a strange hybrid of magic-based hack'n'slash and low-level role-playing. There's some fun multiplayer quirks... like a competitive angle to loot distribution (based on "secret goals" that are randomly chosen for each player and revealed only on the GBA screen.) And before you ask, yes, the GBA usage is worth it. Even more so today when you can get the game for $10.
The big fault is that, once you start a game, it becomes increasingly difficult for new players to jump in. Although initial reports swore it would be pick-up-and-play, the levelling-up of character skills and the scalable baddie strengths preclude this becoming the New Gen, tech-savvy Gauntlet. Once you start, you're better off to stick with your same party members if you want to see the game to conclusion. It's a big mis-step for a game that was already difficult enough to round up the proper allotment of gear and players.
Memory Score: The FF connection? There's moogles. That's enough for you, kupo.
released March 2004, purchased March 2004
Man, every poke-fan on the planet was beside themselves when Nintendo started dropping hints that the franchise's Huge Console Game would be a full-fledged RPG with stellar big-time visuals and gameplay straight out of the unbelievable depth of the Game Boy Pokemon games.
They got it about half right.
A physically draining, franchise-whoring, unappealing disappointment, Colosseum evoked bad memories of the N64 Stadium games at their very worst. You walk into a town and you battle. Then you battle. And again, more battling. That's it. No breeding, no berry-planting, no contests, no fishing, no catching, not even bike riding. It is painful... and that's coming from a self-proclaimed Pokemon fan.
Nintendo is dead-set against letting the franchise expand onto their home consoles; I assume because they don't want to threaten the marketplace power of the ten-year Pokemon handheld juggernaut. As long as they keep pumping out half-assed tedium like this, they'll have nothing to worry about.
Memory Score: I actually fell asleep playing this game. Several times.
Next time: The GameCube pretends it's both a PlayStation and a GBA! Plus, the Zelda multiplayer mashup nobody wanted!
