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From the Pride Land to Space Paranoids
Tuesday / 08.01.06 / 11:21PM / Joe

I was really excited to see a Lion King world show up in Kingdom Hearts 2, since Simba didn't have much to do in the first one. I'd love to see a Making Of for this game, because I would no doubt be fascinated to hear what movies were chosen and why. I'm guessing existing licensing issues and synergy initiatives govern much of it.

For example, the inclusion of Tron... but we'll get to that in a minute.

The only drag for the Pride Land is that you jump into the story during the halfway point, when Simba is off screwing around with Pumbaa and Timon. I was rather looking forward to some Young Simba levels, the version of the character that everyone on the planet prefers. And where's Zazu, dammit?

I'm a big fan of the worlds that necessitate a costume change, and Pride Land offers the most drastic one yet: a full transformation into animals. Makes you wonder why all the worlds don't do this. Surely Agrabah could come up with some kind of breezy Persian number for Sora and Company.

Shame they weren't able to use more of the movie's music.

Interlude: Why does everyone - and I mean everyone - feel the need to address our heroes as "Sora. [pause] Donald. [pause] Goofy." This always happens during the final Thank You scene, where the trio receives loving accolades from whatever subverted antagonist is native to the world. It is particularly grating because the ever-present subtitling means you can see it coming.

Deeper Interlude: To all video game designers: ALWAYS INCLUDE AN OPTION TO TURN OFF SUBTITLES. Your cutscenes have been fully translated. Your characters are animated and believable. Why do you still feel I have to read their lines along with them? Jesus, you wonder why most people think video game plotlines are infantile and unnecessary... because you guys are treating us like babies. SAME-LANGUAGE SUBTITLES DESTROY IMMERSION. (Unless you are hard-of-hearing, in which case they're awesome.)

After smacking the hell out of Scar, you have to head back to Hollow Bastion for the non-sequiter Tron level. I will say that they integrated the concept well enough, just that it is a helluva weird-ass thing to have bothered with in the first place. I don't believe that Tetsuya Nomura was enchanted by Tron while visiting an American game development house while they were working on Tron 2.0, as the legend suggests. What I believe is that, when KH2 was in the planning stage, the Walt Disney Company was deep in the throes of force-feeding a Tron revival into the public consciousness.

The Tron 2.0 Movement didn't pan out as planned - resulting in a few lackluster new video games in 2003, with any plans of a film sequel already DOA - but we're stuck with a big Tron world in KH2.

Incidentally, the world is called "Space Paranoids" not because of bad East-West translation, but because that's one of the fictional video games mentioned in the movie. I didn't know that until tonight. But I still think it's stupid-sounding.

This world does look cool as hell though. Tron-as-game comes off far better than Tron-as-1982-movie ever did. Happily, "Sora. Donald. Goofy." get new Tron-inspired costumes.

And I love that the game uses the movie's same cheesy digital disassembly effect to transport the characters into Tron land.

Perhaps the best part of this section of the game is that we actually return to the freaking plot, instead of wallowing in movie re-enactments that, while fun and involving in their own right, have nothing to do with Sora's quest... as undefined as that has been. You see, King Mickey returns at this point, and in a big way. It's a surprising reveal, because Mickey presence in Kingdom Hearts has largely been noteworthy only due to his conspicuous absence. At least you no longer have to put up with Donald and Goofy constantly wondering aloud "Gawrsh, when do you think we'll find the King?"

You also meet Cloud and Sephiroth somewhere in here, lost amid their own private storyline. Plus, you get hyper-adorable fairy rockstar versions of Luna, Rikku and Paine. I'm hoping I get to see more of them. Like a bloodmatch against Sleeping Beauty's Flora, Fauna and Meriweather.

Still no Riku though. I'm sure he turn out to be Roxas or an unrevealed Organization 13 member or somebody.

Haven't seen Kairi in a while either. Probably went back to Miniskirt Shortening Camp.

After polishing off Space Paranoids, there's a mega-sweet Lord of the Rings style war scene (which kinda comes out of nowhere and leaves similarly). Then you have to visit all the worlds again for a shorter, secondary unlocking storyline.

I'm sure this pisses off a lot of people, but I don't mind the backtracking. There's no way I'm ready to wrap this game up yet, even after 27+ hours. More to come.

 

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