Could you do it?


There's a great story making the rounds about a gal who attempted to stay in Manhattan's 24/7 Apple Store for a week without leaving. Spoiler: she only lasted about a day.

This is terrific. This is the kind of thing that is absolutely a direct creation of the internet. It's performance art. It's culture commentary. The idea started at Suicide Girls, a sort of online alternative magazine that has a lot of Not Safe For Work Or Kids type stuff on it, so watch yer clicking. The editors combined a David Blaine obnoxio-stunt with the techno-porn of the new 24/7 Apple Store. They found a willing participant and asked her to weblog the whole experience. Which she did. The weblog is randomly entertaining, in a non-sequiter "last known photograph" kind of way... but if you want to read it in proper order, you have to scroll to the bottom (not too far down, because then the comments start) and read upwards, since the whole thing has not been properly archived yet.

Unfortunately, I think she went in slightly unprepared for the enormity of the task, and this should be a lesson to future 24/7 public weblog events. By the middle, she's nearly begging for readers to show up with food and pep talks. Which just tells me that Suicide Girls doesn't have enough active NYC readership... if Kotaku placed some poor shlub inside a store near me, you can bet I'd pop in for moral support and some DStraction.

She should have at least beaten LEGO Star Wars.

I don't know what the Apple Store's rules are on loitering... obviously they're pretty lax if she went through 24 hours uncontested. She even had some guy - completely unrelated to her stunt - who hung out playing Halo or something for nearly as long! Still, with this story showing up on Apple sites the world over, it was only a matter of time before some staff member found out about it and confronted her.

Actually, I would not be surprised if they had embraced her, made a fun viral pro-Mac presser out of it. She probably would have scored a free Shuffle.

Could I do it, I wonder? Now, I dig real time/remote weblogging, and I'm awfully good at entertaining myself, assuming I have my gear on me. Does it count if you hang out in a corner, not in front of an iMac? What do the employees do if they find you sleeping? When do simple vagrancy laws take precedence over the free-spirited Apple attitude, and they have you escorted from the building?

Here's my plan for anybody who wants to give it an honest go.

First, get it sponsored by some well-trafficked website. You're going to need random unknown people showing up to keep you in the game. Your own friends will probably just make you want to leave.

Second, at some point, you're going to have to buy something to ward off the security call... so find ten to fifteen people who want iPods and buy one every so many hours. That way, you can always pretend to be waiting for a phone call because even though you just bought one, you "have a pal who also wants one." Maybe have people keep bringing in sick Macs and you keep handling their Genius Bar appointments.

Third, arrive with projects in mind. Yes, you should be discreetly snapping pictures and weblogging, but you should also have some big iLife Thing to occupy yourself. Bring a DVD filled with family pictures and make a bunch of slideshows or books... this will also take care of your Christmas shopping. Pace out your gaming so you don't burn out. See if you can get away with watching an entire movie.

Fourth, the necessities. If you have people bringing you food, you'll be fine for sustenance. Forget about bathing, but you will need some kind of anti-funk to keep you from wallowing in misery about your own smell. I would hazard a guess that you could get away with sleeping in a closed bathroom stall for a couple hours at a clip.

Fifth, you have to want it. You have to convince yourself that this will be the weblog entry that makes you a million dollars. You'll write a book about it, a screenplay, you'll be able to retire on this baby.

This will not be the last time somebody attempts this.

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This page contains a single entry by Joe published on June 21, 2006 11:59 PM.

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