There are games that I have beaten in six hours, so it's always fun to be deep inside one where six hours has gone by and I've barely accomplished anything. It's even more fun when you realize that Kingdom Hearts 2 is not a GTA or an Animal Crossing; this is not a game where you can burn hours just gadding about. No, these six hours are more or less linear, plot-driven action RPG stuff. In other words, the designers intended for you to spend the first six hours learning how to play their game.

The reports that the game has a three hour tutorial are not wholly unaccurate, even though such a thing seems at best completely impossible and at worst egregiously unappealing. It's really more of a three hour introduction, featuring all new characters whose story will intersect with Sora's at some future point. Length aside, it's a good idea... because it allows new players to become familiar with the Kingdom Hearts system, and it keeps old players from wondering why Sora has to learn how to access the combat menu all over again.

And about the length... there's a ton of movie in there. I didn't exactly keep track of how often the Dual Shock was sitting idle, but I would guess roughly a third of the time. Much of the FMV stuff recaps both the first Kingdom Hearts and the GBA side-sequel, Chain of Memories. So by the end of the three hours, everybody is back on the same timeline.

I'll try to keep this spoiler free.

Although I'm not a big fan of the classic 2D Mario style, I did finally pick up New Super Mario Bros this weekend. Note to Nintendo designers: I was definitely swayed by the multiplayer stuff, particularly the devolved Mario Party minigame bonus feature. Further note: There is something about the marketing artwork - the stuff with a gigantic Mario stomping in on normal sized baddies, as seen on the game's cover - that I find absolutely compelling.

About the gameplay. Although I love retro-nostalgia, I do not love retro-gameplay. Nintendo's late focus on re-releasing classic titles has proven this out. After diving into original Metroid, Zelda and various Super Mario Advance titles, one word comes to mind: tedious. As I fought through the SMA games, it was completely un-fun. The first one was interesting as a GBA launch title - and I did love the opening movie, where Nintendo pulls back the old Game Boy screen to show off the wide expanse of the GBA screen. And the one that did SMB3 - I forget which Advance title that even was - but it was just so I could see how the eReader power-up / map scan junk worked. I lacked the fortitude to beat either of them. Meh.

Today was a fine day. Nothing overtly demonic or world-ending happened today. Our news department talked to a local priest about the origins of the "6 6 6" numerology, which struck me as asking Bigfoot to talk about unicorns.

I did not get much sleep last night, because Clark is in a "Night Terrors" phase right now, which would be amusing if it wasn't 2am. He also managed to wake up over an hour ahead of the usual time, so I went to work on about four hours' sleep. Which isn't all Clark's fault. I was up late anyway.

So, scrambling for weblog fodder... how about Katamari?

Today's edition of Stupid Panels of the Silver Age comes to us from Marvel Comics' "Fantastic Four" #7, October 1962, "Prisoners of Kurrgo, Master of Planet X"!

On far-off Planet X, mighty Kurrgo contemplates the future of his planet...

Yes, superior in every way. Except when it comes to naming planets.

Because we all knew they were doing it, here's the first look at Pokemon Battle Revolution, the first Pokemon game for the Wii (link via Kotaku via YouTube).

Before you get too excited, note that there's a gigantic Wailord floating above the stadium battlefield. That's right, yet again we have to see water-based pokemon suddenly defy gravity for the duration of the battle.

Is it possible for Nintendo to learn anything from the previous boring, awful N64/GameCube Pokemon games? Because that footage shows to me that they haven't figured out why the console game sales are a mere fraction of the total sales of the "core" GB/GBA Pokemon sales. And it doesn't bother them that sales are falling for the mighty franchise. With every new console release, more people bail. Isn't anybody saying "Man, we really ought to try to get the console game numbers up there with the GBA game numbers"? Anybody?

(Although I am pleased that the trainer designs seem to be emulating Pokemon artist Ken Sugimori's understated, classy anime style... rather than aping the Digimon so-hip-it-hurts look of Colosseum and XD.)

Today is DS Lite launch day. It sold out rather fast in Japan, and expectations are high for big sales in the US. Lots of major retailers broke the street date and started selling them last week, but I had to wait until today to go get one. As I headed out the door, I realized I had to go to the bathroom, but I opted to hold on to the bladder pressure to keep it real.

The DS Lite is not a major upgrade from the original model, but it sure feels like it. It is easier to hold since the shape is more uniform, and the stylus is thicker, more naturally pen-like.

The shoulder buttons are also excellently clicky. I was never satisfied with the clicks on the original DS (or the SP, for that matter)... they were a bit mushy. These buttons do seem like the kind of plastic that will discolor over time, however.

You're going to want a protective carrying case for it right away. I wish we could get away from glossy finishes on this kind of junk, because it creates an aura of fragility that I'd rather not have on all of my portables.

The GBA slot cover is not a door, as I had previously thought. It's a fake cartridge with contact points that completely plugs the hole. Although it's only about 2/3 the height of a GBA cart, so yeah, they do stick out a bit. Of course, I think the last GBA game I played was a year ago, so I'm not too worried about that. Once the Lite becomes the defacto DS model, I hope Nintendo comes up with some kind of flash cart chip that fits flush in that slot... for use to store demos and whatnot.

I repeat, the tarps are down!

As first discussed here, then here, and here and most recently here... this could be the last chapter in the saga of the neighbor jerk who barrelled his SUV into his living room.

This is a GameCube essential.

And the first Cube game that truly felt "next gen." It looked amazing, had an absurd amount of unlockables, ridiculously anal stats-keeping, a full barrage of characters both recognizable and obscure... and gameplay that scaled to let both newbs and pros enjoy the hell out of it.

I think it's also a positive orgy for Nintendo obsessives, packed with company history and references. Melee validated many a fanboy's existence, and probably created just as many new hardcore fans. Whether your major muse was Pokemon, EarthBound, Game & Watch, Zelda, or whatever, this game had something especially for you. It even shone the spotlight on games that had yet to appear in the US, like Fire Emblem and Animal Crossing.

One of Nintendo's first-party signatures of the GameCube generation was games that you couldn't possibly finish to 100%, and Melee was the progenitor of that concept. Even today, you still occasionally hear about new hidden messages... like the one I just heard that pops up after you log 5000 matches: "That's one penny per match!" Insane.

It's tough to imagine how they'll top this one. But an army of Nintendo die-hards is waiting...

Memory Score: There is not a GameCube library on the planet that lacks Smash Bros.

Now we're into the good stuff. I've been through four new worlds since finishing Mulan's territory, and my game clock is around 12 hours.

One thing about Kingdom Hearts 2: it is far more accessible than the first one. I remember getting completely frustrated after getting lost inside Deep Jungle, and that's, like, KH1's second world. This time around, the game does a much better job of leading you on and keeping you on task. Sure, you can go screw around in minigames and random Heartless battles if you want, but it won't be because you're totally lost and pissed off.

The new context-sensitive triangle button should just be labelled the Awesome button. Because any time you can use it, awesome things happen. It's the de facto input for anything non-standard while exploring - hit it to fire up a lantern or talk to somebody or whatever - but during battles, it regularly lights a spectacular finishing move or combo move. You end up keeping half an eye for it to appear, because you know that something truly kickass is about to blow onto the screen.

Background: I don't even know how an article about the various DS media add-ons devolved into an argument about whose system has the suckiest games. Wait, sure I do... the article was about Nintendo, so that means it's open forum for gay jokes and Mario Infinitum gags. I actually thought the original comment was pretty funny, but uneven gunfights always rile me up... Complete original discussion here.

After a couple more nights of Kingdom Hearts 2, I've managed to log another 6+ hours just in the Gummi Ship stuff. Considering how the Gummi experience was so lousy in the first game, this is a pretty huge compliment.

They shined it up something nice, and if you're willing to forgive and forget, it is a tremendous amount of fun.

I think I first checked out the new Gummi Ship Editor waaaay back when I opened up the first world path... and I was rather meh about it. The in-game help is imposing. There's no way you're going to read through it all; you're already set to blow it off. But I'll tell you whut: they cleaned up the interface and made it much easier to use. Even though I had barely skimmed all the documentation, I had little problem using colored blocks to assemble a starship in three-dimensional space.

I had a very specific reason why I decided to try out the Gummi editor. I was staring at the editor screen, thinking "Maybe it would be neat to make my own ship. There was no point last time, since the Gummi stuff sucked, but it looks kinda cool this time. And the actual flying/shooting parts are much, much nicer. What kind of cool aircraft could I make, that would look neat and sort of make sense inside the admittedly scattershot and seam-bursting world(s) of Kingdom Hearts?" The answer hit me like a lightning bolt.

The Sea Duck.

This in-store ad has probably been around for a long time (my TRU is notoriously lax in keeping themselves up to date), but it caught my eye this week.

Here's the latest cool news from my world, which, this past week, has been marked mainly by being off work to take care of Clark since we're in a daycare transition period.

There's a great story making the rounds about a gal who attempted to stay in Manhattan's 24/7 Apple Store for a week without leaving. Spoiler: she only lasted about a day.

This is terrific. This is the kind of thing that is absolutely a direct creation of the internet. It's performance art. It's culture commentary. The idea started at Suicide Girls, a sort of online alternative magazine that has a lot of Not Safe For Work Or Kids type stuff on it, so watch yer clicking. The editors combined a David Blaine obnoxio-stunt with the techno-porn of the new 24/7 Apple Store. They found a willing participant and asked her to weblog the whole experience. Which she did. The weblog is randomly entertaining, in a non-sequiter "last known photograph" kind of way... but if you want to read it in proper order, you have to scroll to the bottom (not too far down, because then the comments start) and read upwards, since the whole thing has not been properly archived yet.

Unfortunately, I think she went in slightly unprepared for the enormity of the task, and this should be a lesson to future 24/7 public weblog events. By the middle, she's nearly begging for readers to show up with food and pep talks. Which just tells me that Suicide Girls doesn't have enough active NYC readership... if Kotaku placed some poor shlub inside a store near me, you can bet I'd pop in for moral support and some DStraction.

With Origins 2006 just around the corner, I've been compiling my rough draft want list. This is the stuff that I'll be on the lookout for while scavenging the vendor hall.

First up is WizKids' Pirates, which I first discovered at Origins 2004. Hard to believe it's already two years old, but then, this past year has been a fast one.

Pirates recently reignited my interest with the most recent two expansions, South China Seas and Davy Jones Curse. South China Seas introduced the Asian-themed ships of the Jade Rebellion faction, which are far more colorful and interesting-looking ships than the usual three-masters. They also include the historically intriguing Korean Turtle Ship design, so big bonus points for including something Korean in the mix.

A year ago, we got a call.

By our crude estimates, it came about two months ahead of schedule. So we didn't get to paint what we wanted to paint, and we didn't get to build what we wanted to build. Instead, we got a phone call. And by the end of the day, we had plane tickets: two going out and three coming back.

Thirteen months ago, we were still going to stores and restaurants as we always did, wondering what it would be like to be in these very same places with a child. We couldn't even imagine it, despite it being our fondest wish. We couldn't visualize us with a kid... sitting in that booth or walking in that mall or pushing that shopping cart. And worst of all, we had no idea when it would finally happen.

And then it did. We brought Clark to the United States on the day he turned four months old.

[LIVE ON THE ROAD from Origins 2006] This is your typical gaming convention photograph. A bunch of guys sitting around folding tables not doing much of anything.

This is actually a small group of Doomtown players waiting for the Sealed Deck event to start... unfortunately, it never did. Hopefully we'll find out tomorrow what happened, since the Doomtown World Championships are Friday at 7pm. I'm doing Whateley (again) and Mike is running his Sweetrock deck. Of course, if there's more trouble at the watering hole, maybe this event will be a surprise cancel as well.