Back during those four months when the Dreamcast was popular, I wanted this game. Space Channel 5 was the kind of oddball title that seemed to represent Gaming In The New Century. Even though I never owned a Dreamcast - and never played this game - I had some Space Channel 5 magnets on our fridge for years.

So I was pretty excited when this PS2 Special Edition came out, compiling the original game and the never-released-in-the-US sequel. I knew going in that the graphics would be crappy, but I still wanted to pay homage to a brief envy of years past.

Turns out, it's not that great a game. Almost every other rhythm music game out there is better than Space Channel 5, including the PaRappa / UmJammer PS1 games that preceded it. I'll agree that the style is fun - sort of an Austin Powers meets Star Trek on the Laugh-In set vibe - and that the characters are cool... but the gameplay itself is weak. I played it, but I never really enjoyed it.

Memory Score: Space Michael!

Remember the Two Towers game? Add new levels, 2P co-op, and online play.

The 2P stuff was absolutely necessary, and that proved to be the only reason to play it. Mike and I played it all night once and maxed out most of the characters. Since the combat is just X X X triangle over and over again, the game became background noise to a leisurely conversation.

For movie fans (like me!), this game included some stuff that was cut from the theatrical release - like the Mouth of Sauron, whom you get to X X X X over and over again. And again, lots of unlockable interviews and galleries, which was insanely cool back when these movies were new and hot.

Memory Score: Was Gollum playable? I think he's about the only dude left in Middle Earth who wasn't.

We had a coupon.

I figured this would be a cutesy happy kids game, diverting enough for a quick playthrough and a cheap price.

But it was really stupidly hard.

Rhonda did a good portion of the game, I did some sections, but it was obvious early on that the weirdass underwater controls and non-intuitive instructions were not helping us enjoy it. Jesus, I've played Classic Game Boy shovelware licensed titles that were more fun than this.

We gave up at some point, when the tedium of moving colored pebbles around the sea floor for the millionth time finally got to us. I don't even remember where that was in the plot. It was after the turtle bit, I know that much.

Memory Score: Honestly. Coupon.

Next time: a new Bemani Revolution begins, an anime game that I'm quite sure no one but me has ever played, and a game that I would marry!