The Embarrassment of Reading Marvel
Friday / 03.31.06 / 05:05PM / Joe
I've been into comics long enough to distinctly remember the days when Marvel was king and DC was for queens. Er, kids. In fact, DC used to use the highly pathetic slogan of "DC COMICS aren't just for kids!" as some kind of sissy self-defense slapfight.
So why is it that when I pick up any given Marvel Comic today, these are the ads I see inside:
 
 
Kids apparel, boys accessories, pogs, and that passable toy line with a lousy game stapled to it. (These are all taken from Ultimate Fantastic Four #32, and presumably run in every Marvel book printed this month.)
I don't ever want to hear one of you zombies talk about how adult and realistic and mature the Marvel books are ever again. Seriously, Marvel... pogs?! We know you're mainly a licensing company these days, but have some dignity. Maybe you can let a few pages go by without reminding us how you sold your soul to claw your way out of bankruptcy yet again.
At least when I'm reading a DC book, I get the feeling that somebody somewhere might actually have paid good money to run a print ad inside it... instead of all these backroom licensing trade agreements.
They even copy/paste identical generic clip art in the ads... that same Captain America figure shows up in three out of the four.
Pogs. How did that conversation go?
"Hey, Marvel? We're the guys who make pogs and we're trying to re-launch the brand..."
"When do we get the check?"
Man, show some fucking restraint. | 
