The best news is that the working title for the new gestalt is "The CW," which is so hilariously awful that it's difficult to foresee any success at all. Even aside from no one understanding what CW stands for (CBS and Warner, and even that makes the common man raise an eyebrow, wondering what CBS has to do with anything), it's the continuation of WB's "The" that truly makes it stink. If they had gone with CWTV or CWC or CWN, they might have a show at respectability. Maintaining the "The" - which clearly did wonders for The WB's success - just makes them look lame.

My suggestion is "SplashPop TV." It's edgy, it's hip, it lends itself to soda tie-ins. It doesn't require an article. You want a network with an identity, there it is. I even spent three minutes designing you a logo. (Note now you could swap in other media types in place of the "TV", so you could easily branch out into SplashPop Web, SplashPop Radio, SplashPop Cares, SplashPop Ringtones, SplashPop Instant Beverages, whatever.)

That's probably the problem: Trying to manufacture an identity for the network regardless of the programming. Nobody watches networks anymore; you'd think the chumps in charge would have realized that by now. People watch shows. Even FOX - which, if you'll recall, was once the urban, young, in-your-face, mega-EXTREME channel - has given up on "the FOX attitude." FOX goes from 24 to American Idol to House to That '70s Show to Trading Spouses to America's Most Wanted to The Simpsons in any given week (at the moment.) Where's your brand identity in that? Action / reality / drama / comedy / serious / light / animated / young / rural / urban / scripted / ensemble / medical / crime / talent competition. There's nothing unique or unifying about any network's prime time lineup across seven nights and it's asinine to pretend that there is. It's all about the shows. If you like House, you watch House. No one in America "likes FOX shows" purely because they're shows on FOX, or that they're the kind of shows FOX airs. That thought no longer has any meaning.

So until The CW figures out the schedule (Wrestling, Smallville, Top Model, Gilmore Girls, and Everybody Hates Chris, from my Magic 8-Ball), any attempts to carve out an imaginary brand are just wasted effort. Because they'll be just as young / real / drama / scripted / competition / female / male / comedy / urban / crime as the rest of them.

OMG, I just realized: that stupid frog is gone! Michigan J. can go back into the vault and pretend he didn't spend ten years as a punchline. LOL NOOB.