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I am bored (silver)
05.16.05 / 09:07PM / Joe

So, Xbox 360. I don't know. These guys haven't done much for me yet, and it doesn't look like much more will happen. I didn't see it, but all accounts I've read called the Xbox/MTV launch show a complete embarrassment, less to do with gamers and more to do with posers. And all the Xbox camp wants to do is shout about how big their numbers are... RAM, processor, storage. It's been a long time since I've been excited about a machine's clock speed or how much RAM it has or the number of pixel shader pipelines. It's just... so what? I hate looking at numbers and being expected to drool. Show me the games.

Wireless controllers is a must, so good on them for that. Another point proven by the WaveBird. HD is fine, although most people don't have an HD set anyway. And right away, Nintendo issued a few choice press releases, all gently pointing out that they'll have all of that as well. Sony has already announced their next machine will be "twice as fast" as the Xbox 360. So the pissing match begins, and of course everybody has to choose sides.

More Xbox owners ought to be annoyed that Microsoft is pushing their hardware sequel out the door so soon. It's only been four years since that fall of '01 when both the Xbox and the GameCube debuted. But that's a software company for you. When in doubt, force your base to buy everything all over again.

I think it's a mistake for them to be the first team out of the gate, because now both Sony and Nintendo will be able to do it better. I imagine Microsoft's announcement of a fall '05 release made them very happy... one whole player was removed from the table. In the current round, Sony has had to endure the attacks of looking crappy because the other two had hardware that was a year newer. Now Xbox will be the low-rent version on the block: the oldest hardware, the first one to bundle pack, the first one to turn into old news when the new ones hit.

The Xbox's big selling point will remain Xbox Live... and now they're giving those secrets away for Sony and Nintendo to copy if they like. For all its innovations, Xbox Live 2 is the least interesting bit for me. I hate open forum online gaming for the obvious reasons. Hopefully the reason isn't you. Plus the overwhelming majority of online console games are the same old variations on a theme. Running around shooting, which has just become so boring. It's like how every new card game is still doing Magic's Team A vs. Team B shtick. Give me something different, some new. Where's the Doomtown or 7th Sea of online gaming?

I've never been impressed with Xbox's exclusive titles either, online or not. My tastes run towards more fanciful games, I suppose, because I fall asleep browsing the Xbox racks. Everything there is uber-realistic combat driving Matrix-leather shooting with a shiny silver logo. More so than either of the three, Xbox caters towards a specific demo... and then does a mediocre job at that. Sony and Nintendo have a more diverse lineup, so I can get the bloody stuff if I want it, but also the weirdo Japanese stuff, the cutesy colorful stuff, and the crazy gimmicky stuff. Going from Eternal Darkness to Animal Crossing to Donkey Kong Jungle Beat to Mario Party 6 to Resident Evil 4 on one console is appealing to me. As is going from Katamari Damacy to Fatal Frame to Kingdom Hearts to Sly Cooper to Metal Gear Solid. And those are all AAA games, no weaksauce offerings like Toe Jam and Earl 3. Premiering the new console in a big budget MTV special is a sure signal to me that nothing is going to change. Attention Matrix fans: your new console is here!

And of course, those masters of design at Microsoft pulled another boner. It's silver (yawn) with a ridiculously off-the-rack font choice. It's a "box," so we're going to keep making it look like a box. Additional design support by the Generic Rectangle Division of Dell. The controller looks like they never finished the mold; it's too streamlined.

Then there's the PS3, which is also going for the dull silver motif and also had a hideous new controller! I can't believe they'd dump the Dual Shock. At least the PS3 itself has a hip look to it.

And of course, Nintendo will yield no pics of their next system, except to say that it is about the size of three DVD cases. Please don't let it be silver. Or purple.

UPDATE: Nintendo pics released... and although it's not purple or silver, it's not much of a design either.

 

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