Short version: God of War is a really good demo, and Getaway is a really bad one.

I remember playing a demo of the first Getaway... it was positioned as a huge PS2 title. In fact, early screenshots of Getaway's supposed photo-realistic vision of modern day London were on the streets before the PS2 even came out. At the time, I was looking forward to it, but it dropped off the radar for far too long. Then it re-surfaced, mailed me a demo, and I called Mike 20 minutes later to report that it was merely okay. Gimpy controls, boring driving, with some non-traditional ideas about HP meters and such.

Getaway 2 seems to have addressed none of the failings of the first one. At least, comparing demo to demo. Controlling the lead character is still gimpy, driving is still boring (I guess they're aiming for realistic) and they still seem to think that gamers who think a visible life bar is an illusion-breaking eyesore won't be bothered by a system that allows you to heal up by leaning against a wall.

The demo has a nice open. Very arty. Then the open repeats itself unless you press a button. Then the game begins, and you're a midget cop. Well, maybe not a midget, but definitely deformed in some way. He (I forget his name, probably Officer Hardboiled or something) has a big head, no neck, and is considerably shorter than the other cops in the first level. Who make you drive to the crime scene, probably because you're the short cop they all bust on. The game's hype machine makes a big deal about how the characters are all modelled and mo-capped from real life actors. In which case, they either hired a midget or did the Officer Gritty actor a real injustice. He looks ridiculous.

Then to driving. Remember, you're in London, so switch your traffic lanes around. Yeah, it looks fine. I'd love to drive around the map and see sights I recall from our honeymoon over there, but the demo isn't going to encourage that. There is a ton of cars on the road - again, realism - which makes driving fast nearly impossible. And every time you scrape somebody, you risk losing the level due to "you've committed too much crime!" Ugh.

The Getaway series has the weird idea that a game will feel more cinematic if it is stripped of life meters and ammo counts and maps. It is a laudable notion, but an impractical one that foolishly denies how video games work. For instance, rather than giving you an in-game map of London with your destination marked... you have to follow your own car's turn signals. So like, you're heading down a street, and when your left blinker comes on, you know you have to take the next left. Although I like the concept, it doesn't work at all. It's too easy to miss a turn, get completely lost, and end up driving in circles trying to figure out where your signals are trying to get you to go. Plus, the turn signals aren't necessarily going to tell you the best way to get there, resulting in needless zig-zagging through back alley paths that you only thought were a swift route to the goal.

Once you get to the crime scene - which is an indoor boxing training arena carefully modelled from a real life location, by the way - then you have to walk through shooting down nameless enemies. This is where you really notice how stupid Officer Barbrady looks, and you wonder why no one on the dev team stepped up and said "Maybe we should make him look less like a neckless freak."

You know, I don't recall getting any instruction on what the buttons do in the demo. I mean, the car thing is obvious; PS2 car games almost always use the same gas/brake/e-brake setup these days. But at this point in the demo, I was testing every button to see what I should be doing... mainly because I was being shot at and had no idea how to shoot back. Once I figured it out, I had taken a lot of damage... which is indicated only by a growing blood stain soaking through his bullet-proof vest and the sound clip "I don't think I can make it." Which means, in the Getaway World, it's time for Officer Takesnoguff to lean against the nearest wall. For a full minute.

Presto. Blood stain evaporates. I still don't see how a complete game stoppage for healing is preferable (and more realistic) than picking up a Green Herb or Medipac. I'm more inclined to think the Getaway Team are just dopey about these things and there will be no consoling them. They're sticking to their arbitrary no-HUD rules and that's that.

The worst bit about walking and shooting was when I had to go down into an unlit area. Officer Payne has a flashlight with the most focused light beam in the universe. Add a stodgy control scheme and it's damn near impossible to properly survey a dark room. I managed to get lost in a room with only one exit, because turning around is so inexact and the light beam is so small. And no, you can't have a map in here either, mate.

So it's an awful demo. From what I read, there's a decent storyline and impressive virtual acting... but I'm not about to suffer through utter crap and Officer Noggin to get to it. I think these guys are hamstrung by an overzealous mission statement (Thou Shalt Not Use Life Meters) carved into stone at their first planning session. If they could ever get past that, they could put together a great game. This is art over gameplay, instead of striking an equal balance of both.

Then there's God of War, which might as well be called Devil May Cry With Non-Copyrighted IP. This is a good demo, packing in a nice longish and impressive level, a behind the scenes featurette, and developer commentary played over a truncated run-through of the demo level.

So you're this angry Greek soldier guy, who cuts through enemies like crazy cakes. It's fast and brutal, with a nice assortment of moves. And to break up the slaughter bits, there's some miniboss fights and even a puzzle room. This is the game where you occasionally get stuck in a Hydra's mouth and you have to shove your way out of it by popping its jaw.

The miniboss fight (with a Hydra head) sold me on the game. Once you do enough regular damage to the head, then the game flashes a controller symbol at you... hit it and the game animates an insane killing move, then another and then another. It made for one wild end to the fight, as I grabbed this gigantic dragon head and whipped it from wall to wall. Yes, please. The puzzle room seemed like a pandering afterthought rather than a genuine part of the level... you come across a high platform and you need to kick a box over to it to continue up, while being attacked by archers up above. I don't know if the rest of the game's puzzle rooms will merge better, but this felt like the game was vainly trying to be more than what it should be.

I had to laugh when the creators in the behind the scenes movie started talking about how compelling the world of Poseidon and Ares and Medusa is. Dude, you guys paid exactly $0 to use those characters. No one had to research and/or create anything, aside from maybe renting "Clash of the Titans" once. I'm sure you all worked really hard designing the main character and the storyline... but that couldn't have been more than 5% of the work that goes into developing the cast of an entirely original game. You wanted a game with recognizable characters that cost nothing and you made it. So don't try to sell me on the idea that kids are going to embrace your gameworld... because they already did, about 2000 years ago.

The audio commentary bit was quite cool. I'd like to see more games do this. Although the guy that does all the talking is filled with self-loathing. He actually begins the commentary by saying how he doesn't like audio commentaries in video games, alluding that video games as an art form aren't worth the discussion and analysis you normally find in DVD commentaries. Son, if you're not passionate about your job, step down. He does get past the embarrassment he feels at having to blab about video games, and then he talks about the choices they made in designing the demo level, how the final boss fight works, his goals for the project, etc. And that was good stuff.

And what do we get on G4? Tonight I saw those two morons from Judgment Day squatting in a forest talking about Big Game Hunter Deer Killing Simulator Who Cares. That channel has already lowest common denominatored themselves right out of relevance.

Summary. Do not buy Getaway: Black Monday. Consider buying God of War. G4 is awful and is always good for an insulting dig at any time in any post.