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The Week In Entertainment Media Thoughts
Monday / 01.10.05 / 01:14AM / Joe

Here's a fatal flaw for you: just about every boss fight in Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories is preceded by a huge conversation. If you die in the boss fight, you have to re-live the conversation with no way to skip through it (other than the time-honored practice of smacking a button to speed up the text display.) Ugh. I love plot and story and characterization in my video games. But when you have to re-read the conversation multiple times, it actually works against the flow of the narrative. The dramatic punch is diluted - and in fact becomes a source of anger - when you have to hammer the A button to get through it. If you opt to continue after dying in a boss fight, the game should reset you at the start of the boss fight. End of discussion.

We had the announcement of Mario grafted into NBA Street v3, now we can add to that a Mario version of DDR. Good news all around, that. The GameCube has been without official dance mat fodder since forever (I just saw some non-Bemani GameCube dancing game at Circuit City yesterday and I was astonished). It's one less item on the big list of Games You Can't Buy On GameCube, although it's coming awful late in the game. I haven't seen just how the Mario angle will work, or if the game will retain DDR's usual style despite the prevalence of the Mushroom Kingdom. Unfortunately, I doubt I'll pick it up, and the reason is purely in home decorating. We learned long ago that we can't play DDR on our first floor because it's not stable enough; if I play serious, I start shaking shelves. So we moved the DDR setup to the basement, where the Earth itself supports my frantic dancing. Doing that meant buying a second PS2, and I just don't feel up to buying a second GameCube to run on the lower level. Had they done more LAN games, I might be more inclined.

Headless iMac rumors. Here's another good idea. You know all those Windows guys that bought iPods? They just might be considering buying a Mac, now that they've had their first taste of honey. They haven't done so yet because of the relative expense of it. High end Macs and PCs are comparably priced, but on the low end... well, there just isn't a low end Mac. At least, not one low end enough to compare to those email-and-printing shambles you can buy at Sam's Club for $400. Plus, all those Windows iPodders already have a perfectly fine Windows machine (terms relative) with monitor. Enter the headless iMac. (Fake photos here, courtesy Gizmodo.) Little more than a super-sized iPod, now the bi-curious can indulge a White Chocolate fantasy for under $500. Attach that existing CRT monitor (or maybe even a television, according to one rumor I saw), switch the iPod over to its native habitat, and you've got an easy way to get folks to turn against Windows. Unless they want games, obviously. But this rumored machine's theoretical stats aren't going to register on the Pro PC Gamer's HUD anyway.

The return of Hal Jordan storyline is already showing signs of contrivance. Green Lantern: Rebirth #3 is setting the stage for the weakest resurrection rationale ever plagiarized: It wasn't really Hal who went evil. Eh, it's easy to be cynical. Kicking Hal out was a sales event years ago, and bringing him back is just as much of one. I will give them this point: they retconned a pretty cool explanation for the famous "yellow impurity" of the Lanterns' energy source, although it's a little headtrippy. It's like, negative vibes, you know? Even the gray streaks in Hal's hair have a reason, and it's not just because the character first appeared in the 1960s.

The second Sealab DVD hits February 1st. Also the first Brak Show DVD. I'm definitely in for Sealab, only a maybe on Brak. Brak was an early darling of the Adult Swim movement, and most of that first season is pretty good ("Why don't you feed him... three hams!") but it's all but vanished from the modern AS. Probably starting playing too old. I remember seeing Brak on Space Ghost C2C and Cartoon Planet back in the mid-90s. In the final tally, poor Brak was just a high-profile launch title. Still, I'd rather see four year old Brak Shows than freshly imported Super Milk Chans. The real DVD excitement for me will be a Venture Bros. release, easily my favorite contemporary Adult Swim offering. I'd request Mission Hill too, actually.

And what about Squidbillies? Was that a real show-in-development, or just a big joke? It was hugely hyped, and then the premiere was a total bait-and-switch. They didn't run Squidbillies Episode One, they ran an anime parody called Perfect Hair Forever and a Space Ghost talk show segment. If it's a gag, it's an elaborate one. And a successful one. A quick Google search on Squidbillies finds the show already listed on television geek sites like TV Tome, even though the only stuff that aired was a couple promos that could have been produced over one long weekend.

 

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