Fantastic Teaser


The big Fantastic Four teaser trailer hit online last week. A "teaser trailer" means you get a trailer that does nothing but show explosions.

Even though I'm a big comics guy, I haven't seen many of the modern era Marvel films. Pretty much only the Spider-Man and X-Men ones. Did not see Hulk, Daredevil, Elektra, Punisher or any of the Blades. And I likely won't. It's just difficult to imagine them being much good. I mean, Blade?

As for this summer's FF movie... I don't know. I'll probably buy it on DVD four months later out of affection for the characters, rather than out of expecting a great movie. The teaser trailer doesn't do much more than look like a new X-Men sequel.

The 4 logo reminds me of the Smash Bros. icon (an L shape in a circle, of no particular significance to Nintendo that I've ever heard.) Perhaps they're sticking with "4" as the movie's title so they can avoid the hack writer headlines should the film bomb: "FANTASTIC FOUR NOT SO FANTASTIC."

Watch it with me, won't you?

What crap: they kick off the big trailer with "ON". And they're using Arial for the titles throughout the whole thing. If you can call them titles. I prefer "placeholder graphics." Hopefully they'll finish up the text and release the final version soon... right?

So Ben gets to be bald before the accident too? Chiklis, you're needed back on the Shield set in twenty.

Meaningless sci-fi space debris. You're intended to be impressed. That number is probably Jack Kirby's shoe size, a desperate ploy to toss in easter eggs for the true fans.

I'm so serious about this font thing. Even compared to the overdone 3D spiderweb junk we had to endure for the Spider-Man 2 titles, this looks like ass. Incidentally, a couple frames before this, they typed out "forever"... and now we get this slide with "4 ever," just in case you didn't get it. Get it? GET IT?

Explosion. Check.

Here Dr. Doom demonstrates his latest power: ripping off scenes from TV's Mutant X.

First big "powers revealed" FX shot. I like this guy as Reed. We better get a scene with him getting lost in his work and ignoring Sue.

I like this shot too. Thing stopping a semi with his shoulder.

I guess the suit is okay. Not enough brow, nose too low, overall not large enough compared to normal humans. Michael Chiklis is a short dude, and that doesn't work well for the character. I can't help but wonder if they would have been better off with a big CG Thing.

Early rumors suggested that Johnny would be limited to producing flame with his hands, but this obvious Flame On! shot suggests otherwise.

That's as much Sue as I've seen yet from Jessica Alba, even if it's only from the sexed-up Jim Lee era.

And like all action movie trailers, something gets thrown at the camera for the final clip. OMG A CAR IS GOING TO HIT MY EYE. Yawn.

So... it's getting there. It reminds me of a pitch piece so far. If the investors choose to back the project, then we'll see some really bitchin' titles and a proper 8 foot wide Thing.

I'm pulling for 'em. FF remains one of my favorite books, and it would suck to see them get Roger Cormanned, again. And anyway, who would have predicted the first X-Men movie would be any good?

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This page contains a single entry by Joe published on January 25, 2005 12:16 AM.

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