Whenever I complain about Mac stuff to Matt, he often rather patiently asks me "What would they have to do to make it perfect for you." That's a pretty good retort, and it usually stymies me for a bit as I sift through the bluster to determine what exactly my problem is.
Say, Apple's iSight. I've already outlined my issues with iSight, but it's a good example. I often come up with very specific and personal needs in order for me to enjoy a product, and then when something naturally doesn't deliver, I get pissed. Like how I would require an athiest, socially-liberal yet fiscally-conservative presidential candidate. Good luck.
Lately I've been thinking about .Mac, Apple's self-contained Macs-only internet service. I've mostly ignored it since they switched it to a $100/year plan, but one feature has been pulling my attention. The user screensaver.
Built into X is the ability to use any .Mac's public pictures as your screensaver. So I drop my uncle's account name into my X screensaver and near-instantly I'm seeing gigantic photos of his family on vacation, the kids learning how to ride bikes, and general fun happy family stuff. That's super freaking cool. Any X user can see a public screensaver, but only .Mac subscribers can make one. It's actually the first bit of Steve Jobs's silly Apple Family Values crap that I've bought into. But it worth spending $100 a year on? Maybe.
I've already informed Matt that the day I do subscribe to .Mac, that I'm going to fill my public screensaver with big text screens saying "MATT IS AN ASS," "JOE RULES ME," etc.
What else does .Mac offer? A lot of junk I don't need. To wit: E-mail? Already paying three other places for that (Suscom ISP, Dreamhost webserver, and T-Mobile Sidekick.) iCards? Please. Anti-virus software? This is a Mac we're talking about here, so no. Webpage building? Obviously not. And I hate all those pre-fab template sites. Web storage space? No way. I used to play that game of having some files stored here and some files stored there and it was a Royale With Cheese pain. Automatic file backup? Perhaps... but I don't do anything that would require a daily backup. An occasional cd burn of my stuff is fine. Contacts syncing? I don't have any contacts.
Syncing bookmarks would be nice. I would definitely use that, keeping the same bookmarks on my home iMac, Rhonda's iBook, and my work G4. That would be cool. And .Mac often gives away free subscriber bonuses. I'm sure a couple of those would be nice from time to time, although I don't really care about getting a free copy of marble puzzle games and solitaire variants.
So what could .Mac offer that I'd pay for? Webcam software, first of all. They've come so close with iChat AV, it would be great to have Apple add a webcam service. Again, as Matt as told me, not many people run their own ftp webcam. If .Mac had that, it might push me over the edge. And then I might find uses for some of the other benefits. Like, I might actually get some contacts.
That screensaver thing is great though. It's especially amusing when you set it to pan-and-scan over the photos, which can create some perverted looking zooms. Sometimes it looks like the Mac is positively leering at the pictures, which can get dicey when the subject is your eight year old cousin on his first bicycle.
In other X news, I upgraded my Dad's 500MHz DV iMac to X last week. It seems to have gone very well. He had been having problems with both Netscape and IE on OS9... Netscape wrecking his eBay auctioning and IE being way too slow (he's still on a dialup connection.) So we gambled on a move to OSX. It's a change, to be sure. Moved menu options, the X dock, no Notepad... but the benefits are many, and it has run smoothly on his relatively older machine (384 megs ram, 30 gig hard drive.)
ADDITIONAL: I often wonder how my Dad would be doing if he had bought some cheap Windows machine instead. I imagine things would be okay, given that he mostly uses his iMac for web browsing and email. His digital camera transfer and editing wouldn't be as elegant, and he would probably have collapsed from frustration during last week's big virus mail bullshit. So, yeah, uh, no.
Along those same thoughts, Scott Kurtz of the PvP comic strip had a strong reaction to the virus emails. Since he was getting a ton of clogging junk mail from all the morons out there with crappy Windows machines, he pleaded with his readers to install the latest virus protection. The next day, he remarked how he received some mail from Mac users boasting about how they didn't have to worry about the virus. (Background: Kurtz had previously posted his thoughts on switching to Macs.) He responded to that with this:
"Doing research on the Mac in preparation for possibly purchasing one made me turn right back around and run screaming towards the PC Camp. They are really pretty to look at and that Cinema Display still makes me drool, but holy god is that product frustrating and expensive. That's what they don't tell you in the switch commericials. It's going to cost you 5 grand to buy the thing and all of your software over again. No thanks."
No shit, dork. You expect Apple to give you all your software for free along with your hardware purchase? Well, enjoy your virus-ridden world of Windows fun then. When you buy a better car, you don't get a lifetime of free gas with it. I have news for you: If I switched from Mac to PC, I'd have to buy my software all over again as well. I love it when people try to compare a $1500 iMac to the $300 Windows POS available at Wal-Mart... if price is your sole factor is deciding your purchase, then you deserve what you get.
The Switch commercials aren't aimed at people who use five grand worth of software anyway. They were intended for the average person who has experienced trouble with Windows and needs to be shown what other options are out there. In the real world, everyday folks get a constant parade of FUD from their office and their friends that keeps them solidly beholden to Windows, no matter what virus/BSOD/patch/failure happens. Apple's ad plan was to combat that and show off how normal people appreciated the Mac OS. Not to trick people into spending a ton of money. (Plus, every study I've ever seen shows that Macs are cheaper in the long run than PCs, over the total cost of ownership.) By and large, professional users are already educated on the differences between Mac and Windows and didn't need the Switch ads to be convinced. Except Scott Kurtz, apparently.
