[LIVE FROM DELAWARE] We're enjoying New Year's at Chad & Dana's... Mainly passing the party with a ton of games. 8 person Apples to Apples. SSX Tricky. Beach Spikers. NHL 2001. Lord of the Fries. And perennial favorite Trivial Pursuit, where my team's first question was completely incorrect.

Observant users may notice a slight graphical change in the fourhman.com header. I fixed a sizing problem that has lurked around since this site's debut. And I added a drop shadow to the upper menu bar. All this work came about because I'm trying to integrate the entire video game review system into Movable Type... and it's a mess of special tags and templating to make that happen. So when I sat down to start Task A, I naturally ended up doing Task B so the header graphics would line up. I always seem to do that. It's some kind of motivation-direction problem.

Let's get one thing straight. According to Joe, I don't meet the definition of "gamer." I mostly play FPS games like SOFII, Jedi Knight II and Urban Terror. I do enjoy Warcraft III but I can't stand playing against other humans because of lame rush-n-win tactics (although multiple humans versus the computer is fine). Also, I own a Mac, which means very few games for my platform of choice. So what the hell else am I going to write about, except interesting Macintosh tidbits?

Today's tidbit: iPhoto, an OSX-only piece of free Apple software that allows you to store and organize any type of still picture or graphic - digital camera files, scans, Photoshop artwork - and organize them in lots of different ways. iPhoto also allows you to publish your pictures to the internet as albums and even order Kodak-printed prints and books.

I'm having trouble concentrating today, because all I really want to do is be at home playing Vice City. The last couple of weeks have been something of a Vice City rebirth for me. At first I was completely unimpressed - it just felt like a game I've already played - but now that I've dug deep into the mission structure, advanced the plot along, and purchased tons of property, I'm really into it. It also helps that Mike and I are in a sort of informal Vice City race, as we unlock new features and help each other along. I found the Keepie-Uppy Beach Ball first, so I think I'm ahead.

I still say the cops are too aggressive on the 2-star wanted level. Especially since you can always just drive off a 1-star. The all-out assault they launch on 2 just forces you to quickly locate one of the bribe pickups. I guess that adds a realistic thought process to the game, since you have to plan your criminal activities so as to attract the least amount of attention from the law.

Screw you, all you Afterburner modding morons. The lighted GBA is coming.

Nintendo's GBA upgrade (GBA SP) looks more like the original/pocket/color design, interestingly. When it's unfolded, that is. Folded, it's a three inch square... which strikes me as very small to hold. In fact, to test my grip, I just assembled a block of post-its and pretended to hit an imaginary d-pad and shoulder buttons. I'm not entirely sure I like the size, but then I have yet to hold a real one. One of the nice features of the horizontal GBA layout is that your hands get spaced apart roughly as they do when holding a regular console controller, so it's a natural feel when you play it.

RhondaCat completed her Classic furniture series a few weeks ago, sending her HRA score into the 120,000s. I've been missing one piece to my Exotic set, the Exotic Bureau... but counting all my NES games and my complete Nintendo Set, my score is around 90,000. Well, that Exotic Bureau finally turned up, in RhondaCat's town. But she was nice enough to bring it over (dragging along Rio and kicking out Maple in the process. Poor Maple, I never really got to know her...)

It just so happened that Katrina the medium was in my town that night, and RhondaCat popped in for a 50 bell reading. She got the $$$ fortune, and spent the next hour shaking down all of my trees for hidden 1,000 bell bags. RhondaCat entered my town with 5,000 bells and left with 94,000. One quick memory card swap later, I was standing in Katrina's tent getting bamboozled by her fake muttering and moaning.

Banjo-Kazooie came out after Mario 64, and was the only other platformer at the time for the N64. Banjo, the honey bear, made his debut in Rare's somewhat lackluster Diddy Kong Racing, and he's teamed up with a red bird (a breegull) named Kazooie, who lives in his sporty blue backpack. Banjo and Kazooie together work very nicely as a platformer mascot, and have enough novelty in their moves that they didn't seem like Mario clones (even though, yes, they are Mario clones). That, plus the general humor of the game, made Banjo-Kazooie my favorite platformer.

Despite a sequel and a handful of other Rare platformers, Banjo-Kazooie is probably their strongest outing, which is a real pity, because you would expect their later efforts to be better, not worse. Unfortunately, Rare took the wrong lessons from Banjo-Kazooie – the game is short (fun, but you can complete it in an afternoon once you know what you're doing), and the moves are sufficient but not entirely varied, so they made overly bloated games with far too many useless moves in them after this point. I've not played Conker's Bad Fur Day, but their other games were far less enjoyable than Banjo-Kazooie. If you want to start with a good platformer, start here, and don't pick up Rare's later titles.

I'm old school enough to remember when Donkey Kong first arrived in video arcades, and I also remember the first addition of a Kong, that of Donkey Kong Jr. So I've always somewhat resisted Rare's efforts to continuously add new Kongs to the line up; wasn't two of the poorly named apes enough? Every Donkey Kong country has made a habit of adding new and entirely flavorless Kongs to the brood, and every following DKC has more or less ignored the overwhelming family tree to stuff even more monkeys in it. DK64 is no exception to this; you get 3 new Kongs who you'll never hear of again, plus Diddy, Donkey Kong Jr. and Donkey Kong (this time as a wrinkled old hermit who brews potions and insults you).

So you have a cast of 5 characters. This is a platformer game, the same kind of game Rare's been spitting out since Banjo-Kazooie (which is still the superior game), so you'll naturally have the opportunity to troll these 5 primates all around a hub world. Attached to this hub world are going to be non-sequiter "lands" where you have to pick up things and learn new abilities that let you pick up more things. You can probably already predict the worlds, especially if you've played any other platformer.

I threatened it before, but now I've finally done it. My PS2 is heading online. Weeeeell, this is all still in process. My WET11 and WRT54G are still in the mail, because I want to create a wireless network. I do already have a PS2 Network Adaptor... I'd like to say that Sony just released some amazing must-have online game that spurred me to action, but the simple truth is that my Toys R Us had two in stock (the first time I'd ever seen them available) and I had a TRU gift card bawling like a starved crackbaby in my shirt pocket.

The LinkSys WRT54G isn't the model I had originally picked out... it can transmit both 802.11b (the old standard) and 802.11g (the new standard.) Or, as Apple has branded 802.11g, AirPort EXTREME. Apparantly Apple's marketing people have opened the lid on their wampyr coffins and stepped into 1997.

Kingdom Hearts is the unexpected offspring of Disney and Squaresoft (the Final Fantasy people.) In fact, for months this was all anybody talked about: the strange mix of the two seemingly disparate companies. Although initial reaction from critics was glowing, many gamers were/are put off by the Disney focus... but you can chalk that up to the usual gamer stereotype of immature teens who require GTA-style bloodletting before they'll get near a game. Lots of Square fans were also confused, since the game includes lots of random Final Fantasy characters in supporting roles.

Me, I'm an unabashed Disney fan. And this is the first game to take the whole Disney oeuvre seriously. This isn't some simple movie-to-game translation, like the recent raft of Lilo & Stitch/Treasure Planet games, nor is it some kind of wacky platformer with a cartoon license. This is an emotional, dramatic, evocative journey through the Disney Universe. I cried. Many times. Regardless of your opinion of Disney's everpresent merchandising and rampant marketing, this game returns the characters to their original form: actors and entertainers.

Divine Divinity has probably one of the stupidest game names ever. I’d say it rates up there with Donkey Kong and Lode Runner in names that don’t describe the game whatsoever. Donkey Kong would probably have best been named “Rescue the damsel from the big ape” and Lode Runner “Get loot from the generic bad guys using only your stupid digging ray gun.” Divine Divinity? Is this some sort of crappy religious game from Wisdom Tree software?

So it’s no surprise it was more or less looked over by US gamers, which is a real pity, because it’s a fun game. It’s not wholly original, it’s not always well thought out, but it is a cultural descendent of Diablo 2 and Ultima 7. Meaning that if you liked these games, but thought they were missing something (any real point in Diablo 2, any action in Ultima 7), you should like this one.

Konami's oversized, colorful multiplayer arcade games have eaten quite a few of my quarters. I'd dump $15 at a time into X-Men, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and The Simpsons. Sunset Riders was a much rarer find, thanks to the non-licensed wild west theme. Don't look so surprised.

I actually almost bought an original Sunset Riders machine last winter, but I was afraid I couldn't get the wide four-player unit into my modest house. Nevertheless, this is precisely the kind of arcade game I like: noisy, colorful, multiplayer, and silly.

You are one of four cowboy heroes, hilariously named Steve, Billy, Bob and Cormano. Well, Cormano isn't so hilarious; that actually sounds like a decent cowboy name. I'm sure that cowboys named Bob existed, but it's not exactly heroic sounding. According to klov, there's another version of the game where everybody has more appropriate names, but I've never played it.

Today I hit a milestone in my life. I turned 30. So far being 30 does not feel much different from being 29, yet there is something about this day and the definitive end of my life as a twenty-something that has me more than a tad bit depressed.

I have a stack of about 200 comics piling up. Traditionally, the week's new books sit in my upstairs den for a time before I bag them and file them in the racks of boxes in the basement. But I haven't bagged and boxed for months. I used to methodically catalog each one, but ever since Wizard World went paysite, I've given up on that. Seeing all these books piling up here behind me, I have to wonder how I got here in the first place...

I could have mentioned this days ago, but the LinkSys WRT54G went into service smoother than silk. There was literally nothing to install or tweak, as my PC was already setup from the previous LinkSys router and my Macs just know what to do naturally. My real concern was the WET11, but it too settled into the LAN perfectly. My wireless network was up and running in about 20 minutes.

I registered my PS2 Network Adapter immediately afterward, and that too was easier than you could imagine. I guess it would be a harder setup if you're dialup or AOL, but if you're on broadband with DHCP, it's basically a series of screens saying "Success! Press X to continue!"

Well, you had to know this was coming sooner or later. Its time to pick a theme for next year's marching band show.

That's right. For next school year. For August. Seems so far away.

Unfortunatly, choosing a marching band show is not like selecting a new video game for purchase. Its not like you can go down to the "Bands-R-Us" and look at the shelf....."Hmm, do we want a first person shooter, an action arcade, or a sports simulation?" "Do we want a trumpet feature, a latin flare, something broadway?" Gee Whiz!

Or is that "Mitchell Imitates Life"? I can never remember.

Interesting story. I recently bought a DVD of the terrible Joe Don Baker movie "Mitchell" off of eBay. I'm sure you are as surprised as I was to learn that somebody even bothered to master Mitchell into DVD format (the company that did so, Intercoastal Studios, seems to specialize in releasing crappy movies on DVD.) "Master" isn't the right word either; it's not like you could expect a fully restored print, audio commentaries and supplementary features for a goddamn 1973 Joe Don Baker movie. But anyway, I owe a perverse amount of comic allegiance to the film, stemming from the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version. So I eagerly bid and received.

When it comes to the Metroid franchise, I'm fairly ignorant. Up until Prime and Fusion, the only Metroid I played was Metroid 2: The Return of Samus for Game Boy. All I really remember about Metroid 2 was lots of jumping and rolling into a ball. And the post-credit pan along Samus in her underwear. I don't remember much about the storyline, the bosses or the levels. It didn't turn me into a Metroid fanboy at all; I bought it and beat it with the same attention I applied to Gargoyle's Quest or Cosmotank or any other Game Boy adventure title of the time. I didn't even realize it was a Nintendowned property until years later.

So when the hype hit for Metroids Prime and Fusion this past fall, I was admittedly unaffected. I don't even play Samus in Super Smash Bros. Melee. In the end, it was the overbearing quality of Metroid Prime that brought me into that title, and Metroid Fusion came along a month later (a Christmas present from Rhonda!) as a happy by-product.

We've had some new additions to the Ambush Bug Archive... Tenzel Kim sent me some interior panels featuring the Bug. I've had quite a lot of user submissions over the years, and I do appreciate that.

I added the update to the button strip here on the main page, but I dated it for February, because I'm tired of February constantly getting ripped off with only 28 days. As far as I'm concerned, it's February 1 right now. Why the hell should January have 31 days?