Part 1: First Impressions, Part 2: Coolest Moments. Part 3: The Fett Family. Now we dive into the Jar-Jariest, Ewokiest, most annoying, absurd and asinine portions of the film. What we hated.
Joe: I held extreme dislike for the car chase scene. What an insane amount of coincidences and lucky breaks for Our Heroes. It's a shame, because I'm a huge Coruscant fan, so seeing it before the Empire is very cool. Some particular moments of hatred: the continued usage of non-human species for purely comic effect... like the H. I. Larious alien cab drivers, mugging and gesticulating for your amusement. The magical light saber catches... I guess the write-off here is that Obi-Wan used the Fucking Force to find Anakin's saber. The crowd scenes that contain vast amounts of aliens one second, and nothing but humans the next. But the absolute worst part of the car chase was the fact that it took forever... I would've walked out if I hadn't already passed out.
But my personal choice for Most Useless and Terrible Scene is the droid assembly plant sequence. It was like a Tom and Jerry cartoon, with the conveyor belts and mindless enemies and giant crushing hammers and buzzsaws and my god did I want to puke. It's going to be level 6.2 in the Attack of the Clones video game... and it will be even longer and more repetitious there.
Chris: "If it weren't for that horse, I wouldn't have spent those two years in college." -Louis Black. Or it could say, "If it weren't for George Lucas i wouldn't have wasted ten dollars on shit."
Yes the film was better than PM, but still it wasn't what it could have been. If Lucas had let Lawerence Kasdan, or even say... ME, write the script, I can guarantee the story would have been better.
My left right butt cheek could come up with better dialogue then "I've been dying a little bit every day since you've come back into my life." May the puke be with you.
What did I hate? the OBVIOUS CG clonetroopers at the end. Yea, that comes straight from REBEL ASSAULT XVI: OVERDONE.
What else? The ludicrous homage to SOUND OF MUSIC, with Natalie Portman twirling in circles over a hill. I swear I heard people say, "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE.."
And finally, was Anakin MASTURBATING in the bed scene, or having a nightmare?
Other than that, it was OK. But "Ernest Goes To Camp" was better.
Scott: To start, the pacing of the movie was anything but perfect. Not getting into too much detail about the opening sequence as Obi-wan and Aniken raced around Coruscant (which was unnecessary plot development and just an excuse to use as many cool digital effects as possible), Lucas never established a flow to the film. Especially through the middle of the film, while many useless and less then dramatic love scenes were interwoven with several less then dramatic plot developments.....I went in thinking the film's main goal was supposed to be Aniken's character development (leading him to the dark side, his relationship to Padme, etc.) and the rise of the dark side....but I didn't come away very enlightened in those categories.
Meanwhile, the entire sequence in the droid factory left me shaking my head. Sure, the younger folks need that kind of comic relief (I suppose) but for me that was a 15 minute waste of my attention. And why couldn't R2-D2 fly in previous movies? Possibly another cool digital effect which wasn't possible before? Hmmm.....
Matt: Everyone's already picked apart my most hated scenes. The car chase was technically very nice at times but overall quite pointless. The love scenes, each and every one of them, were horrible. Bad acting. Bad dialog. Bad camera angles. Bad sappy music. I was not alone - when the corny dialogue hit the speakers the entire audience groaned aloud... I kid you not. Another oddity: the scene were Anakin says "I slaughtered them... All of them... Blah blah blah" seemed REALLY harsh, and I only say that because as a 6 year old boy behind me turned to his father and said "Daddy, what's slaughter mean?" I kind of cringed. I mean, I understand the plot point and I'm not one to get queasy about that kind of thing but jeeeeez... Did you have to ram it down the kid's throats? Anyway, onward. The factory scene: stupid. All the shots and dialogue from C-3PO: stupid. Rocket Booster R2D2: stupid. Chains that can hold a Jedi: stupid. It seems anyone could have come up with a better way to do this movie, but then again I'm a white-collar techno-nerd with delusions of grandeur... so what the hell do I know.
