June 2001 Archives

 

At least they increased the inventory.


The Diablo 2 Expansion costs $35. Diablo 2 itself was new for $45-$50 and now goes for $30. The expansion adds 2 new characters classes, 1 new adventure Act (with accompanying new monsters), and a bunch of new items. D2 had 5 character types, 4 Acts, and thousands of items. In the world of Diablo, less costs more.

Expansions sets like Diablo 2: Lord of Destruction have become a complete rip-off. They are sadly overpriced compared to the original. (Bias notice: I hate the Diablo series. But, I love Starcraft and they had the same price points with Starcraft and the Starcraft expansion, Brood War. So consider me equalized.) This one LoD Act better be pretty goddamned long. The locked-in-place quests of Diablo 2 were one of my biggest gripes with the game... since the quests are all the same EVERY TIME, why would I still play it? This weakness is particularly lame in multiplayer. "Hey Questor, BloodMane69 and Godboy-[kkc], let's go find the fricking Horadric Cube again!" The game really needs user-defined quests, or at the least, a set of multiplayer-only quests. The $35 expansion doesn't add that. One single new Act ought to be a free download, assholes.

Diablo 2 also needs to slow down the difficulty levels of the enemies. Why am I bothering to level-up my character when the bad guys all get to level-up too? Once you've filled in all the spell points you want, levelling up becomes a waste. Hooray, I'm a level 76 necro... but the plague zombies back in the first town are now level 76 too... you never get to the point where you can really cut loose and enjoy your power. It's always a struggle; you're always just a mob scene away from dying. How about a lowered difficulty mode where your experience actually counts for something? The $35 expansion doesn't add that.

By the way, there's already a patch for the expansion, which tweaks over the numbers for the characters (even the two brand new ones, goth girl and hippie.) The $35 expansion doesn't add that either, you'll be greeted with the patch download when you visit battle.net.

 

Mood Indigo


My Game Boy Advance is about to reject its first set of batteries. I know their time is up because the power LED has turned red (it's green when your batteries are fine.) What a great feature! Now if only they'd make consoles that you can turn on with the controller, instead of a button on the box.

GBA Mini-Review: It's great. The bigger screen size is worth everything; don't let anybody say it's not. Super Mario Advance (Nintendo's Big Launch Title, damn them) makes a cute point by having the startup movie begin in the GBC screen ratio, and then slowly reveal the entire screen. It's like breathing fresh mountain air when that two-and-three-eighths inch screen fills with happy colored pixels of clouds, rutabagas and grunting plumbers. Super Mario Advance was the first game I booted up in the GBA and it felt good.

Lot of buzz about the shoulder buttons being too small and the screen being too dark. Picky shits say this, not I. Every Game Boy unit has had visibility problems, and every Game Boy iteration has gotten better. Until Nintendo decides to build in a backlight, it's just what's for dinner, sonny. I have massive, meaty paws and I don't mind the shoulder buttons one bit. Although I must confess that I don't bother placing my index fingertips on them; I use the inside middle knuckle. Compared to any other handheld, it's wonderfully comfortable. You will enjoy holding this ugly-colored box (more colors! more colors!) for hours.

But like all new game systems, the launch titles lineup was lame. Too many ports and not enough showcase games. I'm not a major Castlevania- or Tony Hawk- head, and those were the two biggest marquee titles. I stuck with Super Mario and ChuChu Rocket, and I'm eagerly awaiting more (I'm first in line for Sonic Advance and Mario Kart Circuit Racer, baby.) Over-eagerly. Can you believe that Nintendo didn't push a Pokemon game for launch? Man, that's balls. Pokemon is almost singularly responsible for the Game Boy family's huge success over the past five years. Without Pokemon, there may never have been a Game Boy Advance. (Or more likely, we would have gotten one, but it would've been like the Sega CDX: the console addendum nobody wanted.)


I'm of the opinion that most people are idiots.

Because most people are going to breeze right by this game. They're on their way to buy NBA Offroad Hunter 4x4 2001 or whatever insta-game garbage that's already filling the burgeoning PS2 racks. These are the same gameurs who ignored Klonoa PSX, Conker's Bad Fur Day, and No One Can Stop Mr. Domino. Maybe it's because of the cutsey animal mascots.

I implore you to grab this game. If you're too busy playing The Bouncer or GT3 right now, then wait until Adventures of Cookie and Cream hits a price drop. And one more thing: you're going to need a friend. Adventures of Cookie and Cream is the first game I've ever played that demands you bring a buddy. Yes, lots of games have tacked-on multiplayer modes these days... and sports games tend to run either with or without. But this game - like Toe Jam and Earl a decade ago - requires two players. It's two player cooperative and I CAN'T APPLAUD IT HIGHLY ENOUGH.

But if you couldn't care less about multiplayer games that don't involve pinning your friends to the wall with a rail gun, go ahead and click out of here. I'm about to moon and gush over a great game that you've been avoiding because it has two easter bunnies on the cover.

Backstory. A typically engimatic japanese plot: the rabbit clan can't hold their annual Moon Festival because the moon is gone; a pair of chicken guardians enlist Cookie (male rabbit) and Cream (female rabbit) on the mission to return the moon. The path to the moon is divided into several kingdoms, each composed of 4 linear arcade levels and one boss fight. The levels are all top-down, almost platform-style adventures. You'll be thrust into jumping puzzles, some average baddie-busting, all at a nonstop hustle since each level is timed. Each rabbit has its own path per level; the screen is divided in half longways. It may look like a race to the finish, but it's not. Both rabbits have to finish to beat the level, and you have to work together to get each other to the goal. And you have to always keep moving. If you put it in park while you're waiting for your other half to catch up, an super-annoying baddie will swoop in and steal time from you as a punishment.

The early cooperative elements are obvious. Cookie comes to a raised bridge and the button to lower it is on Cream's side. Or Cream is stuck at a dead end until Cookie puts a sliding panel puzzle in order. Many of the harder levels require some extremely fancy timing between you and your pal... you'll be either gleefully congratulating each other or shouting derisions as your partner muffs a move and loses the level. Most of the really obtuse puzzles have a hint chicken nearby... talk to your chicken a couple of times to get the most out of him.

Once the game has settled you in (you'll be asking each other... "How are you doing? Can you make that jump or is there a button I have to press?"), it neatly crosses the invisible barrier with some unexpected path crossovers, some vehicle based runs (love the waterskiiing bit!), and a bunch of great boss fights.

The bosses usually have some unexplained trick to them and it may require quite a few attempts to figure it out. They may start out very frustrating, but they are quite doable once you know the secret. I swore quite a bit at them. "What the hell? We're not doing any damage. What are we supposed to do... this is really pis - oh. That's what you have to do. Freak." The level of cooperation required to defeat the bosses and progress through the rounds makes the game amazingly fun; I enjoy playing games where you actually have to talk strategy with your teammate as you go.

Compared to the super-smooth Crash Bandicoot style of platforming, Cookie and Cream move awkwardly. They don't have the precision I would've liked and their double jumps are slow. Some of the trick trigger points are very small and your bunny may occasionally have difficulty finding it... if the loose controls keep your rabbit circling, you're going to keep missing the critical action button hotspot. I have a small issue with that, since the trigger points are essential to locate and use as quickly as possible. The game does use a nifty zoom-in feature to help you out in tight quarters. I suggest using the zoom on those perspective-based jumping chains. The zoom is a nice display of PS2 power at work, too. Makes a cool blur effect for the nanosecond it takes to magnify.

Speaking of graphics, the cutscenes are beautiful. Crisp clear movies that herald the kind of quality we're starting to get from the next-gen PlayStation. Also of note is the audio, which offers up some surprisingly hardcore music and a never ending fountain of japanese rabbit babble.

Extras. Although it's not primarily an item collecting game, there are some secret "gift" items hidden throughout the worlds. When you grab them, they show up on the game's title screen, turning a normally boring main menu into a living trophy case. There is an oddball 4 player feature as well, where a group of characters race up the screen collecting (and stealing) moon points. It's an average attempt at a 4 player mode, but at least it's not some crazy split screen like most multiplayer console games. The extra characters for the 4 player game are gradually unlocked by another set of hidden items in the regular game worlds.

So why aren't there more co-op games like this? Because, for most people, video games are a solo experience. Releasing a game that REQUIRES two people is a low-sale risk (particularly if there's pastel bunnies on it and it's not a Nintendo game.) Another risk is that this game needs some solid gaming skills; the upper levels are not for casual players. And don't believe the press that says you can play this game by yourself. You'd have to be an ambidextrous, independant-brained Mensa genius to control both rabbits simultaneously. Or a Siamese twin.

Like the Mario Party series, Adventures of Cookie and Cream has the potential to be a dorm room hit. It's also a great game to break away from the common first person shooter split screen doldrums. If you have any friends savvy on your PS2, give yourself an early birthday present with Cookie and Cream.





Getting the most out of your controller


Although the 4 player mode supports the PS2 Multitap and the regular game uses 2 controllers, it doesn't have to. In a bid for some extra press talk, Adventures of Cookie and Cream is set up so 2 people can play with just one controller.


If you do opt for this intimate arrangement, each player gets one half of the Dual Shock: one of the analog sticks and the two accompanying shoulder buttons for Action and Jump. This makes the intricate stuff of the late game ever harder as both people jerk and tug the controller around. I think this works against the happy co-op spirit of the game, but it does make a non-serious game more unpredictable. And goofy looking to bystanders.


They call it a "date game," since presumably it would get a pair of young lovers off opposite ends of the couch and onto that middle cushion. Maybe you could agree that you both remove one article of clothing after each completed level.


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This page is an archive of entries from June 2001 listed from newest to oldest.

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